The Double Face of Positivity: Unraveling Toxic Positivity
A Personal Perspective
Since my earliest memory, I have adhered to positivism as a beacon in life. However, my understanding of what it means to be positive underwent a drastic and profound change at ten.
At that crucial moment, I was faced with a revelation that shook my world: my father, who had been my hero, was not the leader of our home. My mother, a woman of tireless dedication and strength, actually played that role.
I learned that being positive is valuable, but with one crucial condition: we must have limits. Limits that allow us to build our lives on solid and real foundations, not on temporary illusions. From this journey, I evolved into a forever hopeful person who’s always grounded in reality.
On my journey, I have observed how the culture of positivity, in its extreme form, can become a veil that hides the truth and prevents personal growth.
Toxic positivity, a term I understand deeply, refers to this excess of optimism, where negative emotions and realities are systematically ignored or minimized. Although often well-intentioned, this attitude can be harmful as it ignores the complexity of human experience and genuine emotions.
The Double Face of Positivity
Through my own story, I have learned that positivity is a powerful tool, but only when balanced with an honest and courageous recognition of our realities.
However, when it becomes a denial of our genuine experiences and emotions, it can lead us down a path of disconnection and superficiality. True strength, I have discovered, lies in the ability to face life with a positivity that recognizes and accepts all facets of the human experience, both the light and the dark.
Exploring the Impact and Challenges of the Culture of Positivity
In an era dominated by slogans like “stay positive,” a contradictory and worrying phenomenon is emerging: toxic positivity. This term, increasingly present in modern discourse, contains a complex reality with significant implications for mental health and interpersonal relationships.
Defining Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is the habit of excessively and often inappropriately emphasizing positive thinking, dismissing real negative emotions. This generally well-intentioned orientation to life can be harmful because it ignores the complexity of the human experience and leaves aside negative emotions, which are also genuine.
Origins and Heyday of the Culture of Positivity
This culture has evolved from ancient philosophies to the positive thinking of the 19th century, consolidating in the 20th century with figures such as Norman Vincent Peale and his book “The Power of Positive Thinking” (1952).
The boom of positive psychology occurred in the 90s, by Martin Seligman, due to the emergence of public figures and self-help gurus promoting and leading this movement.
Social Media and Toxic Positivity
Social media has played a crucial role in amplifying toxic positivity. In 2022, a study on toxic positivity on Twitter and other websites appeared, illustrating the prevalence of this culture in the digital realm.
Impact on Mental Health
Toxic positivity can be especially harmful to those suffering from mental health issues. Such toxicity can intensify feelings of guilt, in addition to creating barriers to seeking real help. But that can make symptoms worse and hurt people’s mental health.
How crucial is it to be aware of and face our negative emotions head-on?
Understanding and sharing your downer feelings lets others know you’re going through something, which can help work out and soothe those emotions. Because openly discussing emotions builds trust and understanding.
To feel better, you have to get your emotions back in balance.
Strategies Against Toxic Positivity
Combating toxic positivity requires acknowledging all emotions, practicing emotional authenticity, developing emotional intelligence, encouraging honest conversations, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking professional support.
Tools for a healthy relationship with emotions
Developing a healthier, more balanced relationship with emotions to foster genuine and sustainable emotional well-being involves a combination of self-awareness, self-help practices, and, in some cases, intervention from professionals. Here are some valuable tools and techniques:
- Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help increase awareness of your emotions and thoughts.
2. Emotional Journal: Regularly journaling about your emotions can provide an outlet to express and process feelings.
3. Therapy or Counseling: Working with a therapist can provide professional support and guidance in navigating and understanding your emotions.
4. Emotional Education: Reading books, attending workshops, or participating in online courses on emotional intelligence and emotion management can provide helpful knowledge and tools to manage your emotions effectively.
5. Support Networks: Maintaining solid and supportive relationships with friends, family, or support groups can provide valuable emotional support.
6. Relaxation Techniques: Deep breathing, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce stress and anxiety, facilitating more effective management of emotions.
7. Regular Physical Activity: Regular exercise benefits physical health, improves mood and reduces anxiety and stress.
8. Embracing gratitude can be a powerful tool for combating negativity by helping us appreciate the positive aspects of life and maintain an overall balanced perspective. Practicing gratitude can bring more positivity when life feels negative.
Final Thoughts
When you hear a tale unfold, your brain paints vivid pictures of the characters and events — sometimes so much that films based on books can’t always live up to our mind’s eye version.
Navigating my path to grasp and embody positivity, highlighted by a pivotal childhood revelation, mirrors a larger societal reality about the role of positivity in our lives. Just like in my experience, where the revelation about the true leader of my home led me to reevaluate what it means to be positive, our society needs a similar readjustment in its approach to positivity.
Toxic positivity, far from merely exaggerating optimism, represents a significant challenge to our emotional well-being.
Processing all emotions in the best way, both positive and negative, is essential to move toward a more authentic and lasting well-being.
Toxic positivity, as we have seen, is an extreme that carries significant risks. Instead of embracing the full spectrum of our human journey, toxic positivity sweeps it under the rug, setting up shaky realities based more on make-believe than hard facts. To genuinely flourish in life, we’ve got to roll with both the good times and the bad — it’s about embracing everything that comes our way.
Through my personal story and the analysis of toxic positivity, the importance of building our lives on solid and real foundations, not castles in the air, is highlighted. To keep our minds healthy and relationships genuine, it’s crucial to let ourselves feel all good and bad emotions.
In essence, ditching toxic positivity and embracing balanced optimism is where real strength and wellness find their footing. An optimism that does not avoid difficulties but faces them with courage and authenticity, allowing us to build a life that is not only happy but also meaningful and fully lived.
To truly get into the weeds on this topic, there’s a detailed research piece you should look at: Toxic Positivity and Perceptions of Mental Health By Madeline Feltner at the University of South Carolina. You might find the “Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes….” in PubMed. Additional information on “The toxic effects of subjective wellbeing and potential tonics” on PubMed is included. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Sincerely, I hope you have a healthy life.