avatarVince Mao

Summary

The article discusses the psychological journey of creators facing the pressures of expectations, fear, and potential burnout, and offers strategies for resilience and persistence.

Abstract

The author delves into the emotional challenges that come with pursuing creative endeavors, particularly writing, and the anxiety that accompanies growing visibility and audience expectations. Drawing a parallel to Yoda's wisdom from "Star Wars," the author extends the concept of fear leading to suffering to include expectations leading to impatience and ultimately suffering. The piece reflects on the universal struggle with unreasonable expectations and the resulting negative emotions that can cause creators to quit. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, community support, and a long-term perspective to combat these feelings and maintain a sustainable creative presence.

Opinions

  • The author believes that expectations can lead to a chain of negative emotions, including impatience and fear, which may result in suffering and potentially cause one to quit their endeavors.
  • The article suggests that the journey of writers and content creators is fraught with the fear of failure, the pressure of maintaining metrics like likes and followers, and the impact of internet trolls.
  • It posits that a focus on quick success through hacks and giveaways can lead to burnout and disillusionment, despite having access to good coaching and teaching.
  • The author advocates for a "long game mentality," reasonable self-awareness, kindness, vulnerability, and the acceptance of potential failure as key tools to sustain a creative pursuit.
  • The piece conveys that community and mentorship are crucial in providing perspective and support to creators facing the darker aspects of their journey.
  • It emphasizes the importance of gratitude for each follower and encouraging comment as a grounding force amidst the challenges of content creation.
  • The author encourages creators to maintain a sense of humor and to find joy in the process, suggesting that laughter and lightheartedness are valuable on the path to resilience.

The Dominoes of Darkness that Make People Quit

…and the Arsenal to Prevent it from Happening to You

Photo by Bernd 📷 Dittrich on Unsplash

“But what is really the issue underneath your frustration, Vince?”

I stared at my counselor, the rain pattering against the window outside.

Time seemed dilate in my mind like a sour apple Airhead.

I took a deep breath…

“I’m finally getting somewhere with my writing, and I’m honestly feeling more anxiety with what I’m trying to share. I’m not sure if it’s worth continuing…”

There. I said it.

Each therapy session was like jumping off a cliff naked…

but each also ended feeling like my spiritual gutters got blown out with a commercial-grade air compressor.

As the session wore on, I rediscovered a universal truth about human nature and the slippery slope that Yoda presented in Episode I:

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate…leads to suffering…”

Damn. The little green hobgoblin was right on so many levels!

When I first heard it in theaters as a high school student, I knew laughably little about the depth of this process...

As a middle-aged man, this line hits harder than ever before.

Let me explain, expand, and offer my remedy from own musings here.

Photo by MIGUEL GASCOJ on Unsplash

But wait, there’s more!

So I’m going to tack on two more parts to the line to dig a little bit deeper:

“Expectations lead to impatience. Impatience leads to fear…”

Let’s cut out the middle sections and simplify it to:

“Expectations lead to suffering.”

This, in a nutshell, is what any endeavor we tackle will eventually sour into without a certain degree of self-awareness and open acknowledgement.

What I want to say is “unreasonable expectations”, but using just the one word is a little catchier.

This truth is the core of our journeys and the stories of our lives.

Want proof?

If you’ve read “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens, this little dung nugget makes sense for most of the characters.

In fact if you reflect on all the stories you’ve read or viewed, all protagonists go through this greatly before their transformation (if they make it):

  • Thor
  • Stitch
  • Mirabel
  • Darth Vader
  • Lightening McQueen
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Pip, Stella, and Miss Havisham

Hero or villain, everyone with a great character arc goes through this process.

So how do we channel this concept for ourselves in our lives?

Photo by Cathy Williams on Unsplash

The endless carousel of pursuit

For us writers and content creators, we all start out terrified, isolated, and alone in the world that is social media.

Like the second “Wreck-it Ralph” movie when they first travel to the internet, it’s a vast new universe at our fingertips that threatens to overwhelm us.

Initially, we have no expectations. We just start. Sure, there’s fear and impatience, but they’re itty-bitty, annoying gnats like those two henchmen in Disney’s “Hercules”…

The evil part starts when we get to a point where we have a growing audience, visibility, and progress in our proficiency. We start expecting a certain level of likes and claps and new followers…

::Poof::

We become Fozzie bear, and these gnats all of the sudden are Statler and Waldorf.

That little taste of celebrity status sends our addictions to external metrics soaring like a baby that just discovered the joys of Krispy Kreme (my two year old has eagle vision of an Assassin in the “Assassin’s Creed” series).

Guess what these three dark pillars lead to?

Fear.

Fear of unsubs and unfollows.

Fear of any decrease in these metrics.

Fear of the wrath of the multitude of internet trolls.

The beginning of the end.

You get angry.

You sink in the quicksand of hate.

You suffer as a consequence of your celebrity.

And when it all accumulates and gets bad enough…you quit.

I’ve seen people go through this on TwiX in the past year like they were speed-running their favorite video game.

  • Writers and creators using hacks, giveaways, and shortcuts to get the biggest audience in the shortest amount of time only to become overwhelmed and burn out a few months in despite having the best of intentions and help from some of the best coaches and teachers
Photo by youssef naddam on Unsplash

The remedy

I’ve been there.

I’ve stared into the black abyss.

I’ve quit other things in the past because of it:

  • Blogging: barely wrote 10 articles before I thought I was terrible
  • LinkedIn: got one viral article out before I chickened out there
  • YouTube: 250 videos and over 400 subs before I got sick of playing the same game over and over again to create strategy guides

Now after tackling TwiX and Medium, I’m facing the same issue again.

This time, though, I have help.

I have a community and mentors that can guide me and help me with outside perspective.

The arsenal to combat the slippery slope of the quitter in any pursuit:

  • long game mentality
  • reasonable self-awareness
  • kindness in the face of struggle
  • willingness to open up and feel vulnerable
  • acknowledgement of the potential to fail spectacularly and keep going

In a nutshell: sustainable presence and persistence.

This is the core concept that stops this process in its tracks. It’s much harder to quit when you are armed with tools.

I was reminded of this in my therapy session.

I was reminded of the inspiration and the reason why I started to write.

I was reminded of the gratitude I felt each time I gained another follower or encouraging comment.

Stay grounded on your journeys. Capture some of that magic like my friend Jeff | Eclecticjoat did in his article here.

We are Groot.

Thanks for reading to the end!

Remember that nothing lasts forever, that money can always be made, and that there’s never enough wipes when a baby poops.

If you’re interested in more tidbits I dig up from my mind, feel free to find me on X or sign up for my newsletter.

P.S. I hope you giggled or grinned at least once…

Self Improvement
Encouragement
Writing
Tips And Tricks
Fun Writing
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