The Disturbing Life Lesson I Discovered at Forty-two That I Wish I Had Known at Thirty-five
Learn this lesson before it’s too late.
Some moments mark your life—when you realize nothing will ever be the same again.
I call them checkpoints because the time of your new life begins to count from those points.
Those moments are so painful that you say to yourself, “I’m going to keep sleeping, and when I wake up, everything will be the same as before.” But you wake up…
And nothing is like before.
I have had one of those moments recently; let me share it with you.
1. Spam folder.
I make a living giving advice.
I do it because I’ve been the typical basket case everyone gives up on.
And I managed, almost miraculously, to straighten out my life.
That’s why I get too involved when someone asks me for help.
And that’s a mistake.
First, because 80% of the people asking you for help put your advice in their mental spam folder.
And you keep sending them emails (advice) that they pretend to receive. Until one day, they unsubscribe from your life.
The other 20% pay attention to you.
But within that percentage of people who listen to you, there is one type of person who can harm you.
The most disturbing lesson I’ve learned at 42 years old
Don’t become a bandage for others because when their wounds stop bleeding, the bandage ends up in the trash.
Does this mean not to help others?
Not at all.
It means that the difference between being the friend who puts a bandage on others or ending up being that bandage is minuscule.
And if you become a bandage,
- you won’t be able to help anyone else.
- They will end up abandoning you when they don’t need you.
Application to your life
You can’t save them all.
First, they have to want your help. And second, they have to do their part.
You can’t spend your life chasing after one person because you’ll lose your life. And it is also very likely that you will end up losing that person when they recover.
Closeness breeds contempt. Reread it.
Familiarity breeds indifference.
It is the law of supply and demand.
When they have you at hand (a lot of supply), they don’t value you.
That’s why they leave when they don’t need you.
It just happened to me. And it will undoubtedly continue to happen to me.
But now I know what to expect.
Now I know that you have to help but also prioritize yourself.
Now, I know that it is not selfish not to want to end up like a bandage full of dried blood from someone else’s wounds at the bottom of the garbage can.
A virtual hug
AG
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