The Destructive Nature of Envy

The only person you should be racing in life is yourself.

“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others — it only changes yours.” — Shannon Alder

Theogenes of Thasos was an ancient Greek Olympic athlete, renowned far and wide for his strength, speed, and power. Throughout his life, he managed to win almost every contest he ever entered. After his death, the people of his hometown erected a statue of their hero in the center of their city.

However, this type of dominance caused a huge amount of resentment among his competitors. Even with the champion gone, one of his former challengers still could not come to terms with his losses. Envious of the success of Theogenes, he would visit his statue every night to have his 5-minutes of hate. The man would cuss and beat the sculpture with all his might.

One night, as the envious man was going about his usual routine, the statue tipped over, killing him on the spot. In the morning, the local townspeople found the man lying in his own blood, a victim of his own jealousy and envy.

Whether this actually happened or not, the story was used in ancient Greece as a way to teach a moral lesson. Don’t succumb to envy and jealousy. If you do, it will lead to your ruin.

Envy The Destroyer of Worlds

Envy as a driver of disastrous events has been the subject in many of history’s greatest tales. Many cultures around the world warn against its devastating powers. Whether it is Hera’s envy of Aphrodite’s beauty in Greek mythology, Cain murdering his brother Abel in the Bible, or Chinese mythology’s Feng Meng killing his divine archer teacher Houyi in a fit of envy and rage, the theme is always the same. In Dante’s “Divine Comedy”, the envious are reserved a special place in Hell. They are placed on the second terrace, dressed in drab grey cloaks, their eyes sewn shut, their souls forever languishing behind the gates of Purgatory.

Envy (“invidia” in Latin) is considered one of the Seven Deadly Sins, an opposite of the virtue of generosity. It is the green-eyed monster of Shakespeare’s “Othello”. In his play, the great English playwright masterfully shows how envy and jealousy can consume someone’s soul. They are the fatal flaws, of both the main character Othello, and his manipulative lieutenant, Iago.

Iago, consumed by rage and envy of Othello, manipulates him into feeling jealousy. He does this by one of the oldest psychological tricks in the book: telling him to guard against his jealousy.

“O beware, my lord, of jealousy. It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”

However, when a person is told not to think of the pink elephant, the only thing that they can think of is a pink elephant. As intended, Iago’s warning poisons Othello’s mind. Jealousy starts slowly eating at his soul, changing a once noble character into one filled with rage.

Keeping up with the Joneses

Envy and jealousy are powerful emotions. Their force comes from the fact that they propel people into destroying themselves. While these two words are often used interchangeably and they stem from the same emotional root, there are some subtle differences in meaning.

Envy is about wanting to have something that you don’t have. Jealousy, on the other hand is a feeling you get when you think you will lose something you already have or think you have a right to.

It is this second part of the definition of jealousy where the intersections with envy are evident. Envy and jealousy overlap in the feeling of entitlement, when you want or even believe that you deserve something you don’t have.

These twin feelings of envy and jealousy have always played a prime role in shaping the behavior of individuals in society. Status anxiety and the need to always be better than those around you is what is behind the materialist mindset evident in modern cultures.

Keeping up with the Joneses is a trend that has been here since time immemorial, but one that has really picked up steam in the last 100 years. The phrase originates from a comic strip created by Arthur R. Momand in 1913, and which ran in newspapers around the US until 1940.

The Joneses were unseen characters in the comic, their only appearances being when the McGinnis family spoke of them. The premise was simple. When your neighbors get a new car, you need one too. When they throw a party, you have to throw a better one the next day.

Research has shown that envy is a strong predictor of whether a person will purchase luxury goods. Marketers know how to exploit this psychological effect for their own profits.

The 21st century has gone even further, thanks to the advent of social media. Now, you are constantly faced with the curated best lives of millions of other people, which can heighten your feelings of anxiety and envy.

Envy is a Deep-Seated Emotion

The human brain is wired for envy. As Helmut Schoeck, author of the book “Envy” writes:

“Envy is a drive which lies at the core of man’s life as a social being, and which occurs as soon as two individuals become capable of mutual comparison.”

Envy is a deep seated emotion in the human species. According to Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman, people tend to be more interested in relative gains and losses over their final ones. A person gaining a 20% raise in their salary won’t feel the same level of satisfaction if their co-worker gets it too. In fact, if their co-worker receives a 30% raise at the same time, the person with the 20% raise might even feel worse than before the raise.

The tendency for this type of reaction came about deep in the ancestry of the human race. An experiment conducted by primatologist Frans de Waal with a group of Capucin monkeys showed that envy is part of their social dynamics. The scientists trained the monkeys by giving them rewards for simple tasks such as handing over rocks. When all the monkeys were getting cucumbers for their efforts, they were all relatively happy. However, the problems began when one group of monkeys started getting grapes as their rewards. In an interview, de Waal discussed the problem:

“The trouble starts when you feed one monkey grapes and the other one cucumber. The one who is shortchanged (because cucumber is not as good) then starts to refuse and actually becomes agitated and may throw the cucumber out or may at least stop performing and sit in the corner and not do the test anymore — which is very strange because the food is normally good.”

Scientists have linked this type of behavior to notions of fairness. Feelings of envy and jealousy were triggered when the test subject felt that they got a raw deal. This shows that envy and jealousy stem from the same emotional spring as fairness.

Don’t be Envious of Others

Envy and jealousy can poison a person’s mind, like they did with Iago and Othello in Shakespeare’s play. These two related feelings are also behind current society’s materialist culture, where a focus on the hyper-me has led individuals to jump on the hedonistic treadmill. You can see how much damage succumbing to these feelings can cause, so what should you do? Telling yourself to not be envious won’t help. As in Othello’s case, this might even be counter-productive.

What can be helpful is to keep in mind that there are two types of envy:

• Benign envy
• Malicious envy

A study from 2012 noted that the difference between the two is that while the first one is aimed at improving one’s own situation, the second one is about pulling the other person down. The smart way to deal with envy is to channel it for motivation. Instead of seeing other people as competitors, think of them as role models for inspiration.

The key as another study notes is to choose people to emulate that are realistic for your current circumstances. The authors of that research noticed that “relevant superstars provoke self-enhancement and inspiration when their success seems attainable but self-deflation when it seems unattainable.”

Another important thing to do is to shift your mindset. Strive to work on your insecurities, and feel gratitude instead. This is once again supported by science, where researchers found that “that gratitude could predict benign envy positively and malicious envy negatively.”

Another way to get rid of envy is to engage in Buddhist mindfulness practice. The goal of Buddhism is to get rid of ego, and to go beyond the self. There are specific techniques that can help you to do that. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to take advantage of them.

Your Takeaway

Envy and jealousy are two related emotions that can negatively impact your life. They can easily poison your mind, causing you to behave in erratic ways. Instead of hating other people for their success, try to use them for inspiration. Find ones that were in similar circumstances and take out lessons from their story.

Shift your mindset, by working on your insecurities and feeling gratitude. If you are having a hard time, then some Buddhist techniques might be able to help you. Finally remember, the only person you should be racing in life is yourself.

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