The Deep Lessons My Dad Taught Me Transformed My Perception Forever

Without speaking a lot of words, my dad’s actions constantly teach me what books could never have shown me

Life is a constant challenge for most of us. Coming from Brazil, I used to think life is hard for us due to our multiple problems. But today, it is better than our past. The conditions were worse, yet families were bigger than today. Our only choice was to start working in our childhood to support the family.

My parent's families were enormous compared to today's standards. For example, my dad has fourteen siblings. He couldn’t finish high school because he had to work to support the family. Yet, he never complained about it, though life was tough for him.

My dad doesn’t speak a lot. But he doesn’t need to. His actions taught me vital lessons to prepare me for life. Allow me to share some of his wisdom with you.

Be Bold! Don’t Follow the Masses

I was a kid when my dad decided I should learn English. I was born in a small town in Brazil, into a simple family. Learning English was not the norm. During that time, public schools didn’t teach foreign languages. Private lessons were not affordable for most people, which included my family.

My dad faced much criticism when he shared his plans with his siblings. One of my aunts said to him, “Your son doesn’t even know how to speak Portuguese, why are you going to waste your money?”

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ― Roy Disney

I’m glad my dad never cared about the opinions of others. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to afford English lessons, but he felt that was the right thing to do. So he did, that required many trade-offs. He followed his heart.

Being part of a working-class family in Brazil, life always brought us challenges. It was never easy. But my dad found a way out of the obstacles we faced.

I am lucky to have such a dad. He always makes bold decisions. I learn a lot from him. He shares his ideas with many people. But he knows what to filter out as well as what to keep. Beyond that, he knows what he wants. He is not afraid of trusting his gut feelings.

Become a Better Version of Yourself Every Day

My dad is a relentless person. When he wants something, he will not settle until he gets it. When he turned fifty, he wanted to ensure a healthy lifestyle. He needed to find something to do, so he decided to start running. While his running journey had modest beginnings, his achievements were surprising.

In the beginning, he was running alone. He started running some kilometers now and then. At some point in time, he was running around ten kilometers a day.

As he improved, he decided to participate in some running events, which he fell in love with. The more he ran, the more people started to follow him. A small group of people joined him on this lifestyle.

As time passed by, the group grew significantly. So he decided to found a non-profit organization for runners. This all started with his humble wish to have a healthy lifestyle and keep himself occupied.

Now my parents’ home is full of medals and trophies. They are everywhere. Ten years after starting, my dad participated in more than 230 events, including seven ultra-marathons and seven marathons. Everything started because he wanted to remain healthy.

“Success is the product of daily habits — not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.”― James Clear, Atomic Habits

My dad’s attitude taught me the importance of small, daily improvements. Every day we should strive to become a better version of ourselves. We should be a role model for everything we do. Actions speak show what words can’t.

Don’t Search for Excuses. Get Things Done

Another important lesson is never to be lazy. If you want to do something, do it. Don’t find excuses. Achieve your goals, and then you can rest.

My dad is not the kind of person who can sit and relax. He needs to do something. Otherwise, he is annoyed. He is too energized to relax. When he retired, he worked for three more years at the same company. Then, he left. It was the moment we decided to invest in building houses. While this seems like a typical undertaking, the way he handled it was far from ordinary.

We bought some properties, and then we planned what to build. Well, being part of a big family has its advantages. Some of my uncles work in construction. So we hired one of them to build the houses.

In the beginning, my dad was managing the activities while my uncle and his helper were building the house. But, he found the pace too slow for him. As a result, he decided to help with the construction.

My dad’s impatience didn’t let him relax during his retirement. To soothe his unease, he had to ensure faster progress and high-quality standards. He was the first to arrive and the last to go. Managing the materials became his responsibility. Through all this, he led by example.

They worked from 06:30 a.m. until 04:00 p.m. But even after the hard work under the hot Brazilian weather for more than eight hours, he still had a lot of energy. After he arrived home and took a shower, he would either ride his bike for fifty kilometers or have a “light run” of ten to fifteen kilometers.

Whenever I feel lazy to do something, I picture my dad. Then, I can’t allow myself to be lazy. Most people dream of retiring and doing nothing for the rest of their lives. Until now, I have never seen a single day that my dad did nothing.

Such lessons push me to strive to become a better human being. My dad is an example of what I envision as a true leader.

“Words do less than 10 things, but actions do more than 10 thousand things. Leaders don’t talk in vain; they follow with actions.” ― Israelmore Ayivor, Leaders’ Ladder

Be Curious Towards the New

On the 27th of September, 2017, it was a windy night in São Paulo when I called my dad to share the news. I was curious to get his opinion.

Me: “Hey, Dad! I’ve got some news, do you remember the interview I participated in for Munich?”

Dad: “Yes, sure. Did you get any feedback?”

Me: “Yes, I received an honest offer. I’m considering to take it.”

Dad: “Considering? Take it, don’t overthink. It’s a great chance. Do it.”

In Brazil, I had three jobs. I worked as a Product Owner as my regular job, which was great. I was also a guest Professor at two MBAs. My life was excellent back then. However, I was curious about how it would be to live abroad. My curiosity drove me towards new and exciting adventures.

In December 2017, I moved to Germany. However, I didn’t want to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve alone. So I decided my parents and my brother should be with me.

On the 18th of December 2017, my family flew from Brazil to Germany. The trip was not that simple. They took a bus from my hometown to another city. Then, they had to take another bus to the airport. Things never go as smoothly as you plan them. The bus was one and a half hours late. They almost missed their flight. But they boarded just in time.

The trip took 24 hours door-to-door. I assumed they would be exhausted, but this was not the case for my old man. I urged them to rest after their long journey. Surprised, my dad looked at me and said, “Do you think I want to rest? I haven’t traveled 12000 kilometers to have a rest. I want to go everywhere. Where do we start?”

Curiosity is what pushes us forward. My dad probably never mentioned that. However, his actions taught me the importance of being a curious person.

“The hardest thing about the road not taken is that you never know where it might have led.” ― Lisa Wingate, A Month of Summer

Final Thoughts

The lessons I shared with you prepared me for a better life. I am grateful for every single lesson my old man taught me.

• Courage: I learned the importance of taking risks, being bold, and following my heart.
• Daily improvements: every day, I look at the mirror and ask myself, “What am I going to do today to become a better version of myself?”
• Getting things done: it’s not enough to start something. It’s crucial to get them done. I learned to find solutions instead of excuses.
• Curiosity: knowledge is important, but it may hold us from moving forward. Curiosity pushes us towards the unknown. My dad showed me that with his tireless actions and endless enthusiasm.