The Day My Sweet Laptop Turned Into a Steaming Craptop

Why I hate love our consumer culture!
My main writing tool did a face-plant and wouldn’t get up.
And it didn’t seem to care that I had a big day planned. I was going to write for a couple hours, edit some audio for the podcast, maybe check out the Face Place. It was all out the window. Now what?
It didn’t go belly up without warning. The week before, it suddenly lost the ability to find the Bluetooth mouse. I briefly continued working using the track pad built into the keyboard, but it was too slow. I needed a solution.
After an internet search, I used online tutorials to try to fix the problem. They told me to take it up with the Device Manager. Using the Cortana search bar I managed to find the desk of a smarmy, suited accountant type deep in the bowels of my interface. Eventually he looked up from organizing files and barked out “This device does not have Bluetooth capability. Now please leave me to these highly important things of which you know not!”
I pressed him for more information, and after a sigh he suggested that I need to install some drivers, as if this meant anything to me. I turned again to the world of online tutorials and attempted to do so, but nothing good happened. The laptop refused to admit it had even ever had Bluetooth.
After three hours wasted, I just got out my USB mouse and plugged it in. It worked fine, so I kept on chugging through life with an archaic corded mouse instead of the sleek wireless one. I tried to pretend that everything was fine, but I knew…
The next few days, I had intermittent wifi. I thought it was my router, but eventually I would find out that wasn’t the problem at all. It was the laptop again. It was showing signs of impending failure.
The day my laptop crapped out totally, I was trying to upload a photo. My computer suddenly lost the ability to find the wifi at all. When I checked with the Device Manager, he just gave me the same flippant, backhand remark as last time. Then he added “Code 24, you buffoon. This device is not present, or it is not working properly. Or maybe it does not have all its drivers installed, which obviously is your problem, not mine.” He crossed his arms in his napper suit jacket and turned to the left to continue organizing his files. He was done with the likes of me.
I connected by hard line to the internet, and called in the big guns. Someone who knew about Command Prompt and wasn’t afraid to use it.
With the miracle that is remote access, he remotely accessed my device from a remote location, using his own device. We talked with audio chat as he assumed control of things and poked around. Apparently my laptop was getting error messages of more than a hundred per second. Things had definitely gone sideways for my poor computer.
“I’ve got some bad news,” he told me. “I think the tiny little wires that connect the parts inside are only making intermittent contact. That’s why it’s telling you things like Bluetooth don’t exist, because it isn’t connected to it anymore.”
“So you mean it’s shorting out inside? Can I fix that?”
“Maybe. Are you any good at soldering? It might work to reconnect them, but more problems like this might happen. It’s a cheap build. It isn’t made to last.”
This is where I had to admit defeat. I cannot solder. And hiring someone else to maybe fix it for only a few days or weeks sounded terrible.
I thanked him and got off the phone. My last hard backup was a month old, so I quickly started backing things up and making sure I saved all my precious files. Everything safely stowed on two thumb drives, I put the “old” laptop to the side.
Now I have a new paperweight, which is only 2 years in my possession and basically a useless brick. In laptop terms it is probably middle aged at least. But how can something made so recently be just a piece of garbage?
I started the process of getting a new one. Even during a pandemic, it only took me five hours to buy a brand new laptop. I went to the big box store’s website using my phone and found an awesome new machine that had a really good discount. I reserved it and waited. 15 minutes later they emailed me to tell me I could pick it up “curbside” but the interior of the store was closed.
After putting on pants, I drove into town.
I waited in line on the sidewalk for five minutes, then paid with a cashless transaction and got handed my new laptop in a box. Done deal. It was low priced and really convenient.
What if I had decided to go the repair route, how long would it have taken to get it fixed? It would have seemed like forever. Hardly anyone in our society would “waste” their time when they can get a new one for only a little more money in just a few hours.
First I would have to take it in and drop it off. Then eventually the tech would get around to opening it up. It might need parts. He would sooner or later get it back together and maybe it would work. He would let me know and I would have to go back to get it. I would pay half the price of a new laptop to get it back. Minimum turnaround time would be 3 days, but it might be a couple weeks. And it might actually work for a while, then the problem might just crop up again.
At which point I might actually hurt someone or utter a phrase I hate: “FML!”
How do I know that this will happen if I try to get anything repaired? Because I’ve been burnt several times now.
The last time we took in a computer for repair, it cost us $200 and took a week and a half. We got it back and it lasted a couple months, then something else fizzled out inside. At that point, we just bought a new one. We realized we should have done it from the start, but we were trying to do the right thing and not be wasteful.
It’s the same story if your washing machine goes down off warranty. First you have to get some dude to come to your house to look at it. There’s a fee for that. Then he needs parts. Back to his home base he goes. Eventually he returns with new parts. The bill is hundreds of dollars, and you still have a worn out piece of junk that will break again soon.
Or you can buy a new one and save yourself the hassle.
It’s Stupid That None of Our Cheap Gadgets Are Meant To Last And We Can’t Get Them Fixed
The human race created the most perfectly stupid system ever. We make things that don’t last, so we can sell new things. And we all want new things, so we don’t really want them to be solid and permanent. It doesn’t matter if we look at laptops or cars or homes. We don’t build things that are permanent. And it is beyond stupid. We are wasteful and silly and trapped in the system that we built.
We use up everything around us because we want more and more and more. Natural resources, other people, you name it. We use it to fuel the monster.
I don’t like the consumer system, but I trapped myself in it. I bought a new laptop because I want one. I had the money and I was enabled by the big box system to instantly give it to them to get another shiny new toy. This one is also made from cheap non permanent parts which will be either worn out or obsolete in a few months. Even if it doesn’t break down I will be tempted to get the newest shiniest toy from the rack.
What Can We Do?
I’m not sure. But the first step to solving any problem is awareness. And I am very aware that my old laptop is taking up space on my desk. I’m afraid to just put it somewhere “in case I need it later.” What possible use is a broken laptop? It’s full of parts that were obsolete the day after they were created.
I am a part of this problem. I own a new-ish vehicle which burns fossil fuels. But I want to get a shiny new device to replace it, which wouldn’t use gasoline, it would run on electricity. And then what? I still have that perfectly usable old car, but I’m not using it now. And no one will want it, because it isn’t new and shiny.
My home is older and not efficient. Should I rip it down and build a new, energy efficient smart home? What a waste of everything we already put into it.
Maybe minimalism is the way to go. In a few years you might find me in my new tiny house, with a total of 3 physical books and 33 items of clothing. I will work from home and try to keep my wasteful ways to a minimum.
But I will still need wasteful things like electronics, won’t I?
