The Day I Learned Something New About Myself

And it wasn’t a surprise

In my early twenties, I was in a Vocational Rehabilitation program in Florida. My parents wanted me to be in another program in a never-ending quest to determine why I wasn’t making it as an adult.

The Case-worker showed me the Report

At one point, I had a chance to read something I wasn’t meant to see, my Intake Report. The report described my Learning Disabilities and my Psychological issues.

It is a real Disorder

One diagnosis didn’t surprise me; I was surprised there was a name for it, but the description fits me to a tee. “Avoidant Personality Disorder.” “This explains a lot.” I thought as I finished reading the report. It has always bothered me that I have never had a close friend or any close relationships outside of my family.

I was accustomed to loneliness

I never dated, and if I went anywhere, I went alone. It was perplexing to me. I wanted to be more extroverted, but I didn’t know-how. It’s a strange thing I can be personable at times, but most of the time I’m a wallflower.

People can change

I have noticed a slow change in my personality. The older I get, the more relaxed and outgoing I become. I think it’s because my self-confidence has grown.

The Comfort Zone can be a trap

I am learning that a comfort zone is a dangerous place and that I have to get out of that zone as much as possible, or I will have a dull and unfulfilled life.

It’s never too late

I have learned a lot about myself since my parents passed away. I keep growing at sixty-one years old. I’m starting to be a person I like and respect. I am understanding myself, and with understanding comes peace, and peace is a beautiful thing.