ANECDOTE

How I Survived My Shoulder Dislocation

I reminisce about my accident and invite you to the hell inside my head

Let’s go back to an evening in Aberdeen. I finished work and was walking my way to the bus stop. As I approached the intersection before the bus stop, I saw the bus passing by. I knew that if I missed that bus, I would have to wait another 20 minutes before the next bus appeared. Hence, I decided to sprint to the bus stop. Before I knew, my foot caught on something, and I was falling, about to hit the pavement face first. I put my hand on the pavement to slow down the fall, and it worked. I got back up, sprinted to the bus and managed to get in — Winner, right?

I sat down, recovered my breath, and then realised I could not feel my right arm. I tried to lift my arm, no chance! A quick google search showed that I might have ‘broken’ my shoulder. At this point, I was also feeling dizzy and thought I could pass out. I panicked and called the NHS. Below is one of the most memorable conversations I have ever had. The conversation started with me describing the incident.

Nurse: Nikhil, I suggest you get yourself to the emergency department at the Royal Aberdeen Infirmary as soon as possible.

Me: Thanks, I am currently on a bus, and I might pass out, could you guys not send me an ambulance?

Nurse: If you pass out on the bus, then the driver can deal with it. We reserve the ambulances for cases where the patient is immobile or in a life-threatening condition. Since you don’t qualify for either, I am afraid you will have to get to the infirmary.

Thanking the nurse for her time, I finished the call and tried to think of ways to get to the hospital. In the meantime, my stop arrived, so I got off the bus and made my way to my flat.

An important thing to note here — I usually keep my phone in the left trouser pocket and my wallet and house keys in my right trouser pocket.

To get into my flat, I use two keys, first to get into the building and second to get inside the flat. Now, my right hand was useless, and I could not use my left hand to retrieve the keys in my right-side pocket. I stood there, feeling helpless and thinking how to get in.

Pause, think, what could have I done?

The only way to get my keys was for me to take my pants off! Now, my building was on the main road, always crowded with cars and pedestrians. I contemplated for a few seconds, looked around and weighed the risk of being reported for public nudity. I decided against dropping trou in public and called for a taxi to the Infirmary. I got into the cab and informed the driver that he would have to retrieve cash from my wallet. He looked puzzled like he was being pranked. I told him of my injury, and then, he burst out laughing.

We got to the hospital, and the front desk advised me to wait in the waiting area. By then, my right shoulder was screaming, and my arm was free hanging. So much so that the tips of my fingers were right above my knee cap. To ease the discomfort, I tried to find places to rest my elbow. I eventually found a dustbin, which was high enough to place my elbow with minimum pain. As I stood there waiting for my name to be called out, someone tapped my right shoulder from behind, and I screamed! It was a nurse, he took me into an examination room, looked at my shoulder and had a confirmatory x-ray done. I saw the x-ray and almost threw up, I had dislocated my shoulder, and my humerus was free hanging, approximately a cm below where it belonged.

A senior doctor then came along; he tried to calm me down. The doctor wanted to fix my shoulder without the anesthesia, I protested. After a few minutes of debating, I won. As the doctor started to inject me with the ‘good stuff’, I saw a nurse walk into the room. She was beautiful. Before I could talk to her, I was out. I woke up a few hours later, with my joint fixed and my arm in a sling. I got home in the taxi and managed to get inside the flat (the lovely nurse had handed me the keys before leaving the Infirmary).

I called my boss the next morning. I informed him of the incident while feeling hugely embarrassed. He must think I am an idiot — I thought. I learnt it the hard way, waiting 20 minutes is better than having an accident. I have lost count of the number of busses I have missed since then.