The Dating Game is Out of Control!
Here are 3 areas that will help men and women find success
It took me until my 40s to realize the five essential areas that are important to at least have a real dating chance. Obviously, beyond the physical compatibility, which is where we all start in junior high school, I think that intellectual compatibility and spiritual compatibility, emotional intelligence, and financial compatibility are important.
Women, you have to do better!
Men, we have to do better!
Was that controversial? It shouldn’t be!
It seems like the dating world is at a crossroads. Men are frustrated with women and women with men.
We have to get away from playing games and start being honest with one another about what it is we are looking for.
See a majority of the struggles between men and women would disappear if communication would be improved.
Men, if you are only looking for a hookup, then just say it. Believe it or not, there are women who are looking for the same thing. You just have to make that very clear from the beginning.
Women and men don’t understand what you want most of the time so it would be helpful to spell it out. If you tell us you want your independence but then demand that your man pays for everything, don’t be surprised when he gets confused.
We could go on and on about all the disagreements between men and women in the dating world but we are going to focus on 3 areas of opportunity.
Here are 3 areas that need to change in men and women currently in the dating game:
1. Blaming everyone except for yourself
We all need to do a better job of taking accountability for our lives and where we are currently at. Men are constantly blaming women for being single, and women do the same things.
First of all, it doesn’t help your current situation, it hurts it. If you believe the opposite sex is to blame for your failing love life, you will develop a mindset that it will never happen. That type of pessimism should never exist.
Instead of blaming others, look yourself in the mirror and ask what it is that is keeping you from attracting a quality partner.
Do you need to get in better physical shape? Should you change up your style on dates? Could it be that your behavior or personality needs to improve?
Whatever it is that you discover, take pleasure in the fact that you have found the problem and then be willing to make the necessary changes.
Don’t make these changes simply to improve your dating life, do it for yourself. Do it for your confidence.
These changes will help you become a better person, in addition to someone who will become more attractive to potential partners.
It’s easy to point the finger at others but it takes a mature individual to focus on ways they can improve and make changes in their lives for the better.
2. Expectations are too high
Both men and women are to blame for this one. None of us are perfect and it’s silly to have this image of your ideal partner who has everything going for themselves.
We have to understand that most people in the dating game are not finished products. Hopefully, 10 years from now, they are significantly further in life than where they are currently.
You can want what you want, but if you aren’t getting anywhere with those requirements, you need to make a change. Or accept the fact that you might be single for the rest of your life.
A woman who will only be with a man that is over 6 feet tall, makes more than 100k, and has no children, has to accept the fact that the pool of men that fit that criteria is limited.
So she needs to ask herself a few questions.
#1 why do I want those things in a man? Is it actually things that I value in a partner long-term, or is it because of other reasons?
#2 What do I have going for myself that will lead those men to me? High-value men are also pickier in who they date, so unless you are bringing something of value to the table, besides just looks, you might be overlooked by these men.
#3 Am I ok with being single because there is a chance that if I don’t change my standards, I will never find someone.
Men are guilty as well. There are too many men out there looking for an Instagram model when they don’t have a job or a car and still live at home with their parents.
If any of these things apply to you, it’s not a knock on you. It just means that your priorities should be on improving your current state rather than finding a woman based on beauty alone.
You really shouldn’t even be focused on dating until you have a plan in place to change your situation.
Men also have a habit of ranking women on a beauty scale of 1–10. If this is something you do, you can do as you please.
However, I would ask you to first, rate yourself, and honestly assess how you shape up.
It’s easy to judge a woman based on her looks without taking the time to look at ourselves and our areas of opportunity.
Again, I’m not telling you to lower your standards to the point that you end up with someone you aren’t attracted to.
However, keep in mind that finding someone with great values and ambition could lead them to become even greater than you ever imagined.
It just might take time. Find someone who will help you improve yourself as well.
The most successful types of relationships are those in which both people can hold each other accountable and work together to achieve greatness.
3. Trying to date or start a relationship before you’re ready
There could be many reasons why a man or woman is not ready to date or enter a relationship.
Two of the main reasons are not having priorities in order and just getting out of a previous relationship. If either of these applies to you, it’s important to find a solution to these problems before dating.
It’s a waste of time for yourself and those who you date.
Well, dating has become a sport and not about finding the person you love.
Rashida Jones
A. Still healing from the previous relationship
There isn’t a specific amount of time that everyone needs to follow before dating again. I would tell you that the longer the relationship, the longer you should take to fully heal.
Sometimes we think we are ready to move on and find that the same problems that existed in the previous relationships re-emerge in future ones.
See, moving on from your previous relationship means assessing what worked and what failed. It takes a mature person to analyze the situation and figure out how they can become a better partner in the future.
B. Doesn’t have priorities in order
If you don’t have your finances, health, or living situation in order, then the last thing you should be focused on is dating.
Work on leveling up and putting yourself in a better position in life and then you will become much more attractive to others.
Too many men and women are dealing with personal issues that should take precedence over anything else, but instead, are out there on Tinder and Bumble looking for dates.
We all have needs that need to be met. I understand that. However, it’s silly to think you will find anything serious while simultaneously dealing with these other issues.
Sometimes we want something so bad that we aren’t willing to wait a little bit longer.
Oftentimes, the wait will be worth it because you will then be able to give your best to the dating game and future relationship.
Take whatever time you need to improve your current situation to the best of your ability, then move forward with confidence that you are ready to date.
Conclusion
Dating is not easy today, just like it wasn’t easy 20 years ago. The game has evolved and with online dating, it happens in a lot of different ways.
However, some things are still the same. Those who have success are the ones who know what they want, are comfortable communicating those things with others, and have a plan for how to get it.
If you want a husband or wife, spend time picking the brain of a successful married couple and find out what they did to find their spouse.
We all need to assess where we are in life and what areas we can improve. Being honest with yourself will go a long way in getting what you want from dating.
It’s also important for us to understand our roles in dating and relationships. Figure out what you want your role to be before entering the dating world.
Some men are dominant and want a partner that is submissive, while there are women that need to be equal in all areas to the man they are with.
Know what you want and communicate these things with honesty and you will have more success as a result.
Remember, the world is a big place, sometimes it takes time to find the right person in life. Continue to work on yourself, improve where you can, and keep a positive mind no matter how many bad dates you have to endure.
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