SELF IMPROVEMENT

The Dark Side Of Gambling

When your hope to win strangles your chance to live

I have already heard at least three stories when a gambler was taken to psychologists and sent to rehabilitation centers for treatment — but there was no sense in it. In my opinion, there are several reasons.

— The person does not attempt to quit — I specifically say “does not try”, and not just “does not want to”. Unfortunately, there is nothing to be done about it. As a friend said, every gambler must break through some bottom of their own to realize it and stop.

The addict must want to change their life themselves, otherwise, no persuasion will help. So far, I’m not sure if such a desire can be triggered by an external factor.

— The player was forced to change against their will. The problem is that any attempt to push through, causes only reciprocal resistance — this is normal. No one likes to be pressured on. The fact that a person is sick, as well as their good intentions, do not at all oblige them to obey. On the contrary, it can result in another breakdown.

— “You can just stop playing!” — People often reason that if you play and it creates problems for you, then it’s just enough to stop playing and there will be no problems. But if you break down, then you have no will. The worst thing is that even some psychologists think so.

Unfortunately, most people have a very limited understanding of what addiction is. A person cannot control themselves and therefore returns to the game. Not because they don’t want to, but because they can’t. Because addiction has taken root in their psyche.

— There was not enough action — When you want a result, you need to take certain steps. It often happens like this: you took 99 steps, but did not take the 100th — and bam! You didn’t get anything. This is because actions must not only be correct, they have to be enough.

You can go to a psychologist and at the same time continue to communicate with gambling addicts. You can block your casino accounts — but continue to watch streams. Half measures will not lead to a result.

To overcome addiction, a person must decide for themselves that it is time to change something. Further from that, specific actions are required. The objectives of these actions boil down to four things:

Increase control over your life
Feel better mentally and physically
Remove triggers that provoke the game
Create barriers to play

How to get rid of your addiction

— Do everything at once, not in stages. The actions are numbered, but they are not steps in the sense that they need to be done sequentially. You need to act in all directions at once.

— Do whatever is relevant to you. You don’t need to complete all the points. For example, if you don’t have debts, then you don’t need the “Make a plan and distribute debts” item. Take the steps that are right for you. But all of them need to be done. If you miss a step, you can break loose, and then all efforts will go to waste.

Naturally, the following instructions will help only those who have firmly decided to quit. A gambler who does not even think of quitting, most likely, will simply not use them. So, let’s take a look at them.

1. Understand the mechanism of addiction and what is happening to you

Dependency exists. You can’t just refuse to play, as many people think. A gambler — like an alcoholic or a smoker — is not able to control themselves. I wish they could, but they can’t.

To overcome addiction, it is important to understand its causes and your thoughts. The quickest way is to read “The Easy Way to Quit Gambling” by Allen Carr. The book is short, you can master it in a couple of hours.

The purpose of this step is to get bad ideas out of your head.

— “I will earn money by playing!” In any gambling game, chance decides, that is, the mathematical expectation is below zero. This means, no matter how much you win, at a distance, you will leave more money in the game than you take away. With mathematics, as with reality, it is useless to argue. But game systems will do everything to make the player think differently.

— “I’m smarter than the system and I can win back!” You can’t. This idea is imposed by the system to keep you carrying money. A ludomania cannot control themselves. Even if you win back some of the money, you will certainly throw it back, in a day or ten minutes. That’s how your mind works.

— “I broke again, here I am an asshole!” Scolding yourself for failures is pointless and harmful, so you will only provoke new failures. You are not an idiot and you are not bad, you are sick.

— “So many debts! You’ll have to play to pay them off.” That won’t work. If you panicked looking for money to pay off your loans, you will almost certainly convince yourself to gamble and lose everything.

If you realize the perniciousness of these ideas, you will gradually understand that you are not bad, you are just sick. This conclusion is no less important.

2. Achieve permanent blocking of your accounts

Simple blocking will be removed over time. Be sure to say that you are a gambling addict so that your account is blocked forever.

3. Remove from your life everything that provokes you to play

Game provocateurs — These activities seem harmless, but they are directly related to the game, and if you continue to do this, sooner or later the thought will come, “Why not play?”

Don’t watch streams. Unfollow streamers and mark videos as “Not interested” in your recommendations.
Do not play demo games. After playing, you always want to play for real money.
Do not read financial news if you are a stock trader. The reasons are the same.
Unsubscribe from mailing lists of bookmakers and casinos. If advertising comes in SMS, mark messages as spam and block them.
Remove apps that remind you of the game. For example, bettors often look at the game schedule in Flashscore.

Fighting the game means paying attention to it. Many things, in principle, exist only because they are thought about. Fighting the game is pointless, you just need to delete it from your life. Once and for all!

Stress provocateurs — If the average person is stressed out, they might go shopping, buy themselves a new gadget, or get drunk at a bar. A gambler can quit fight to stop gambling because of stress, and so a new “cycle of defeat in life” will begin. So, get rid of any stressful situation (eg limit contacting people who spoil your mood, stop watching the news that constantly reports about murders, rapes, terrorist attacks, as well as currency fluctuations, and other unpleasant events).

4. Entrust money to a friend, and then keep it in cash

This is important to do during the withdrawal period or when you have recently played. For example, you can give it to your wife. Choose a trusted person who will manage the money while you are at the mercy of the game — at least a month.

This is a temporary measure, and when you realize that the game is no longer drawn, you can take your money back.

When you are no longer breaking so much, but you are still thinking about the game, keep the money in cash. This is another self-limitation: knowing you can’t drop them online will help you sleep better.

5. Calculate your debts, make a plan and repay

Planning and implementing it means taking control of your life. The more a person controls their life, the happier they are. When you pay off your debts, you’ll be much more relieved.

If you find yourself in such a difficult situation, the best thing you can do is to consult a lawyer. Remaining calm is crucial. Keep in mind that when you pay consistently, people stop worrying and they don’t sue you. Many of them do not even think about it, especially if the amount is small.

6. Don’t take on new debt

New loans will not solve your problem, but will only increase your debt.

Often gamblers want to take another loan to close the old ones. Unfortunately, this usually does not work because the gambler breaks down and loses the money taken from the bank.

One can take out a loan to pay off debts, but under two conditions:

— The loan will cover the interest on previous debts — It is not the gambler himself who manages the loan money, but their authorized representative

If any of these are missing, then the loan is useless.

7. Improve your sleep and get enough of it

It’s a fact that the state of a person depends on the quality of their sleep. The worse it is, the stronger it pulls them on the game. But if they feel good, they don’t want to play.

Here is what you can do:

Lie down and get up at the same time. It is better to fall asleep before 00:00. It will be difficult at first, but after a few days, you will be able to get up easily.
Sleep in total darkness. Close curtains, turn off lights.
Sleep in a cool place or ventilate the room before going to bed.
Sleep as much as you need. Usually, it is at least 8 hours.
Do not use gadgets a couple of hours before bedtime, and just before going to bed, take a reclining position. You can read a paper book. This will set your brain and body to rest.

8. Establish a healthy nutrition

Nutrition greatly affects the functioning of the body. If the diet lacks important macro-and micronutrients, a person feels worse. In addition, the level of energy in the body depends on nutrition. For the digestion of some products, enormous energy costs are needed, while others are easier to digest.

Here are some general recommendations:

Consume less fast food and sweets, more natural meat, vegetables, and cereals.
Take food at the same time. Man is a rhythmic creature, the body works better if it’s entered into a rhythm, especially in nutrition.
Do not eat 2–3 hours before bedtime.

9. Stop drinking alcohol

Alcohol provokes the game. If you drink regularly, you will have to give up for good. I don’t drink and never have, so I can’t make specific recommendations. You will have to complete this step yourself.

10. Find activities that you enjoy and engage in them to the fullest

Many people play for fun. There are many other sources of pleasure that are safer and more lasting. Usually, it is just the satisfaction of one’s interest in something. Keep yourself occupied in such a way that you do not want to play and do not have time for this at all.

11. Switch when you want to play

Probably the hardest step. As soon as the desire to play appears, immediately switch your mind to something else. Useful, entertaining, it doesn’t matter. The main thing is not to pull and not rely on willpower. Take a walk, go shopping, try different things, and apply what works.

12. Consult a psychotherapist

It is not necessary to look for a specialist in addictions, just find a good one you can connect with. Plus, it is important to work not so much with addiction as with its consequences — guilt, self-hatred, etc., to live on. Any good psychotherapist can handle this.

13. Stop hating yourself

One of the most difficult points to complete, especially if you have recently played and are still at the mercy of the game.

The problem is that self-hatred prevents you from quitting the game. Many gamblers believe that there is nowhere to fall deeper, it won’t get worse — why not play, just relax? Unfortunately, life is full of surprises. And whether you believe it or not it can be much worse.

Final thoughts

Love yourself again. Remember and write on a piece of paper everything that you are proud of.

It can be:

Personality traits — For example, you are a tactful person or you always take care of yourself to look good, even if you go out to the store.
Actions — For example, there was a day you just had a conversation with someone who felt bad and made him feel better, or you solved a big difficult task that you didn’t want to take on at first.
Achievements — Maybe you have a high-degree diploma from an educational institution, or you do 50 push-ups at once or have received some kind of award. Stop gambling is also an achievement.

Just ask yourself “What am I proud of?” and then write down your thoughts.

How it might look:

1. I am good at cooking.

2. I can keep my word.

3. I can turn off emotions when necessary and not get upset.

4. I know how to make good money.

5. Never cheated in a relationship.

…

23. Once I saved a child from a mad dog.

24. I have dissuaded a friend of mine from playing in an online casino.

…

101. I graduated from school with a medal.

102. I was the employee of the month.

…

Sit in silence for 10–20 minutes and write whatever comes to your mind.

Here are some suggestions:

Write your thoughts on a piece of paper, not on your PC or laptop. It’s easier for your brain to remember them and work with this information.
Don’t think only about a specific period of your life. You need to cover your entire life, not just the period of gambling.
Your task is to write out as much as possible. It’s more than certain that it won’t work at once. But that’s ok. Be patient and persistent. Take a walk, sleep — and write again. And then another one, and then again.
Write at least 50 points, and preferably 100 or more.
Don’t throw away your notes. Keep remembering and writing. Look at them from time to time and remind yourself that you have something to be proud of and to respect yourself for.
Watch how your life changes within a week or two.

But most of all

Don’t lose your faith and don’t let your hope die. There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.

Thank you for reading!