The Dark Prophecy That My 92-year-old Grandfather Shared With Me and I Wished It Didn’t Come True

But It Did.

My grandfather always said, “Kindness is the new oil.”

And that this was the key to surviving the increasing technologization of the world.

But he also said that every light has its shadow.

And that the shadow of human qualities becoming a rising value was precisely the commercialization of these qualities.

In the words of my grandfather

“Boy, there will come a time when people will have to pay to have friends. And that time is closer than you think. Everything human: charisma, kindness, loyalty, fidelity… company will have a price that many will not be able to pay. And that will make a lot of people end up having a hard time.” — My grandfather.

And he wasn’t wrong.

You have to look at what’s happening today.

• People swarm around people with charisma and form communities where you can only belong by paying.
• On specific video social networks (which we all know), there are popularity battles where the only way to interact is to send gifs in the shape of hearts, dragons, butterflies, etc, which have real economic value.
• Many people commercialize their intimacy in a particular social network (we all know), selling their videos, audio, photos, and even text messages.

The virtual world has become a shopping mall where people pay for everything, even for friendship.

And that has generated what my grandfather called “Merchants of love.”

People who commercialize their affection, intimacy, and attention.

The problem of uprooting

My grandfather always said,

“Feelings matter, my boy. Without feelings there is no rootedness, and without rootedness, nothing can grow: not friendship, not love, not your soul. Everything that grows on this earth needs roots.”

For my grandfather, every good friend you had was an ally and a treasure to keep.

Today, there is no such thing as friendship. Not as my grandfather conceived it.

There are no more friends you stopped seeing for years because life took you on different paths, but you knew that when you met them again, it would feel like no time had passed.

I was lucky enough to grow up in the eighties and have friends like that.

But I don’t think kids today will be as lucky as my grandfather was or as fortunate as I was.

If it’s not free, it’s not your friend

Another of my grandfather’s haunting predictions was this,

“The merchants of love will be like cab drivers, they will charge you for the time they pay attention to you, and interacting with them will be like interacting with an empty shell. You’ll talk to them, but they’ll have their minds elsewhere, thinking about what they’ll spend the money they’re taking from you.”

And in a way, that happens.

People don’t realize that you can’t buy friends, no matter how hard you try, because what you get is an impure, superficial, sterile friendship.

My grandfather used to compare it to agriculture, he said,

“Friendship is a rare plant that if not cared for organically, needs artificial additions. And that sickens its fruits. It’s like putting too much pesticide on tomatoes. Tomatoes with pesticide damage the stomach. Adulterated friendship hurts the mind. Don’t forget that.”

He was right because the key to friendship is that it is free. And because it is free, we naturally feel chosen and accepted.

And acceptance is the best feeling in the world.

If you have to pay for it, it’s not acceptance; it’s business.

(Also, pay validation is fake validation.)

And there is no real intimacy that can be born between two people pretending to be friends, as long as one of them pays for the company.

Because friendship is all about knowing yourself through the eyes of the other, and if the other person’s eyes see you as a hundred-dollar bill with legs, what you will learn about yourself is not exactly pleasant.

It gives you a lot to think about.

It’s tragicomic; we have more and more APPS to connect, and we feel increasingly alone.

A virtual hug (but real)

AG

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