avatarA.H. Mehr

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Abstract

lways greets me with its excited curly tendrils unfurling, but I’m quite not impressed nor ready yet — I’m back to liking this engulfing and suffocating perverse silence instead!</p><p id="e7c6">Avoiding this dark hole’s temptation is not easy. It is an everyday struggle, a struggle between my thoughts and feelings and emotions — an ugly and beautiful inner turmoil. It is an everyday fall and tasting the dust but rising back up. It is hopelessness winning over hope, and then hope winning over hopelessness. It is like getting choked with no way to breathe, but somehow getting back that precious breath. It is counting every second of my life avoiding the feeling of being worthless, but also realizing my worth. It is reflecting on what is it that I am yet to achieve in life, but also being proud of what I have however small an achievement. It is about too many regrets, it is

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about feeling ashamed for being vulnerable, but also being happy and content in a little corner of my heart about being truthful and vulnerable with people.</p><p id="2084">I talk to myself — Isn’t it very difficult? To deal with all these thoughts and emotions and feelings all at once? The dark hole can swallow me in no time if I’m not careful. It is easy to fall into it and get rid of my suffocating moments for eternity. Yet, I go very close and always return. For what reason, I don’t understand. With what hopes, I don’t understand. For whom, I don’t understand. Why at all, I don’t understand. I still don’t fall into that dark hole. Am I waiting for a light to light up my life’s darkness? I’m not sure. The nice thing is, as I see and know, for now, I’ve not given up and won’t be giving up!</p><p id="2093">© A.H. Mehr — April 2022 (All Rights Reserved)</p></article></body>

The Dark Hole With a Light

Prose Poem

Photo by Jonas Off on Unsplash

Often, this very familiar and perverse silence suffocates and engulfs me — leading to thoughts of giving up or just fading away — teasing my mind, and while my mind gets teased by these thoughts, my forsaken soul gets burdened by more thoughts — thoughts that come and go every second — about irreparable losses, about people and things that I can’t get back. I feel so hapless and feeble, that I veer towards sinking into a cavernous dark hole which always greets me with its excited curly tendrils unfurling, but I’m quite not impressed nor ready yet — I’m back to liking this engulfing and suffocating perverse silence instead!

Avoiding this dark hole’s temptation is not easy. It is an everyday struggle, a struggle between my thoughts and feelings and emotions — an ugly and beautiful inner turmoil. It is an everyday fall and tasting the dust but rising back up. It is hopelessness winning over hope, and then hope winning over hopelessness. It is like getting choked with no way to breathe, but somehow getting back that precious breath. It is counting every second of my life avoiding the feeling of being worthless, but also realizing my worth. It is reflecting on what is it that I am yet to achieve in life, but also being proud of what I have however small an achievement. It is about too many regrets, it is about feeling ashamed for being vulnerable, but also being happy and content in a little corner of my heart about being truthful and vulnerable with people.

I talk to myself — Isn’t it very difficult? To deal with all these thoughts and emotions and feelings all at once? The dark hole can swallow me in no time if I’m not careful. It is easy to fall into it and get rid of my suffocating moments for eternity. Yet, I go very close and always return. For what reason, I don’t understand. With what hopes, I don’t understand. For whom, I don’t understand. Why at all, I don’t understand. I still don’t fall into that dark hole. Am I waiting for a light to light up my life’s darkness? I’m not sure. The nice thing is, as I see and know, for now, I’ve not given up and won’t be giving up!

© A.H. Mehr — April 2022 (All Rights Reserved)

Poetry
Prose Poem
Poems On Medium
Hope
Illumination
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