The Danger of Two Men With Guns

A sad tragedy that shows the more significant problem

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” — Marcus Aurelius

He was hunting on Labor Day. It is dove season, and many people in North Carolina spend the Labor Day holiday hunting.

I still don’t know all the details, the news has been sketchy and I have been off the gossip circuit, but I know Tommy was killed. It was not a hunting accident. It was due to an argument with another man. I don’t know anything about the argument — who started it, what it was about, how it escalated. I only know Tommy ended up dead.

The shooter was a former law enforcement officer. Because of his connection with the sheriff’s department, the State Bureau of Investigation is assisting with the investigation. He called and reported the incident himself and told them he was the one who shot him — others in the community called, too.

Law enforcement found the body in a field and the shooter at home.

Many people hunt in our area. While I don’t understand the appeal, it is a part of our culture and a way to control animal populations.

People around here are serious about it and about making sure hunting in our area is safe.

I had to pass a Hunter’s Safety course as part of my physical education requirements in high school. Hunting safety impacted almost as many students in our community as sex education.

I knew I would never need hunting safety, but I understand why one of our coaches championed it as part of the curriculum. (and I did quite well, so there was a certain amount of pride when I received my patch that would never see a hunting vest or cap.) Children around this area learn about guns and respect for guns early. This class made sure they remembered.

My dad was not a hunter, and I did not grow up with guns in the house. I believe they are in the homes of all four of my siblings today, however. I still don’t own any and will not have one in my house. I believe you have to be willing to use it if you own it. Not to say I wouldn’t wrestle one away from someone if I found it necessary or use another object as a weapon. I have a stun gun handy that one of my friends forced on me. It stays next to my bed.

Though not a fan of guns, I never was scared of our hunters. I don’t worry much about those I know who hunt. Gun racks were in the trucks of many of my friends in high school who would hunt before school or after. I never thought twice about riding with them in those trucks. I never thought they were to be feared, or guns would be turned on my classmates or me. It never happened. There was that respect.

I am in favor of gun control. I don’t see how making the process of owning a gun more difficult would be a bad thing. Mental stability should be a must. There are people that I believe should not have guns, and there are guns that I believe people should not possess.

Many of my neighbors and relatives disagree with me and believe nothing should change with our current gun laws. I understand that, too. When many generations of your family have had all kinds of guns in their homes without incident, your opinion is based on that experience. Some of them collect guns the way others do art and talk about them as reverently.

Tommy’s death was not about guns. From what I know it does not appear to be an accident. I also suspect it was not planned.

From what I can tell, it was about anger. Anger that got out of control. That’s hard to legislate in terms of prevention, but instead, it will require a change in culture. People should not feel the need to win an argument at all costs.

Anger is often said to be a secondary emotion — a cover for something deeper. Fear, sadness, powerlessness — they are often the real emotions driving it.

Anger is not bad in itself. Its purpose is to protect us. This goes back to our need to be aware of suspected danger — and the instinct of fight or flight. But anger turns negative when it is not dealt with appropriately. When people don’t have the ability to work through their feelings or find positive outlets to release it.

I did not know Tommy, but he was a friend and family member to those I know and love. Many have spoken of the journey of his life — how he turned his life around when he found himself headed in the wrong direction. One friend talked about how Tommy gave him $15,000 when his business was failing. The phrase I keep hearing from all who knew him is, “he was such a good friend.”

They lost that friend, just 46-years old, on Labor Day. It was supposed to be an enjoyable holiday hunting, something he had done many times before and loved. He expected to be home that night, sleeping in his bed. He should have been.

Gun safety is essential, and our state does an excellent job of reminding people of this.

We need more focus on teaching people to understand those things that trigger their anger and how to manage it. We need more mental health care available, at an affordable cost, and no negative stigmas for people who take advantage of it.

Anger is more dangerous than guns, and guns more dangerous when mixed with anger. When will we deal with the emotion that powers many of our problems?

Kim McKinney doesn’t want to take away everyone’s guns, well, unless they are unreasonable for their purpose. She believes gun ownership is a privilege not to be granted to everyone, and that more attention should be given to our emotional health, especially anger. It is one of the most critical issues our society needs to tackle.