The Critical Key to Success That Too Many People Overlook
Few people can master this skill—here’s how to be one of them.
We get so caught up in the glitz and the glamour.
We see a celebrated athlete wearing luxury designer clothes and lifting a championship trophy.
We see a famous celebrity looking perfect as they walk down the red carpet and win a prestigious award.
But there’s something behind those images we don’t see — and that “something” is the key to making those images a reality in the first place.
What we don’t see is the thousands and thousands of hours—often done in complete solitude—where they’re honing their abilities, mastering their craft, and becoming the person that we eventually applaud.
Yet it’s that very discipline that creates the person we now know.
Often, we get things backward when we try to re-create their success in our own lives.
For example, we look for different tricks or hacks to help us achieve more without actually working harder—but these are just crutches and bandages.
What success requires is building a simple foundational skill that makes all the other hacks irrelevant.
That’s why I don’t give a crap about what productivity app I use, what calendar app I use, or how my inbox is designed because none of that stuff is really important.
What’s important is the real foundational skill.
And that foundational skill is discipline.
The Superpower of Self-Discipline
How disciplined are you in your life?
It’s not difficult to see.
Just take a look at the last few days of your life and ask yourself a few honest questions:
- How much of what “you say you’ll do” do you actually do?
- How well do you follow through with the things that you say you’re going to follow through on?
- And how well do you do those things when they’re difficult or when you’re tired and unmotivated?
Take a moment to really think about those questions.
While you do, here’s a simple, personal example for you: I used to be skin-and-bones thin and weak as a feather, so I started working out.
But I didn’t exercise just to burn calories and build muscle; it became a discipline.
At the time, I lived in a very secluded corner of a satellite city in South Korea and the only gym near me that had any decent equipment was a 35-minute bus ride away. Yet I went there through the rain, snow, wind, etc. — it didn’t matter what the obstacles were; when it was time to work out, you could find me standing at the bus stop with my backpack, workout clothes, and protein shake ready to go.
Even now, after training for over a decade, I like my fancy gyms with the latest equipment, but none of that shit matters to my fitness.
What matters is the discipline to go there several times a week and finish my workout no matter if the bus comes or doesn’t, if I know how to get there or I don’t, if I can speak the language or I can’t, etc.
That is what gets fitness results.
Meanwhile, a lot of people get obsessed with what diet they should eat, what food they should eat, or what supplements they should take.
Yet none of that matters if you don’t have the most foundational element which, again, is discipline.
That’s what gets results in fitness.
But that’s what also gets results in life.
We often think we need all this fancy stuff before we can become great. For example, someone sees the shoes that their favorite football (soccer) player is wearing and thinks that, once they get them, they can play better.
Yet they don’t realize that, somewhere out there, someone’s playing barefoot and is better than they’ll ever be at the sport.
We see some billion-dollar startup founder talking about her favorite podcasts and app so we try to copy her in the hopes that we’ll become just like her.
But what podcast was Benjamin Franklin listening to while driving in his electric car? What calendar app did Thomas Edison have on his iPhone? What TED Talk did Oprah listen to while she was creating her media empire?
None!
Interestingly enough, if you look at most successful people, they live very disciplined and regimented lives. (Even the ones that seem eccentric and outlandish.)
So the key to following in their footsteps — or just improving your life in whatever way you want — is to start cultivating self-discipline.
Start building your discipline muscles and you’ll reap the rewards no matter what you do or don’t have.
How to Build Real Self-Discipline
I’ll start by saying that I can’t give you the exact answer because it’s something you have to experience yourself: I can open the door for you, but you’re the one who’s going to have to walk through it.
With that said, here are some basic approaches that can really help:
First, do less intentionally.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Don’t commit to more than you know you can commit to.
I saw this mistake all the time as a personal trainer: Someone would try to commit to exercising 4 to 5 times a week despite the fact that, in their entire lifetime, they’ve never exercised more than 4 to 5 times a year.
By making such a huge commitment from the get-go, however, they’ve set themselves up for failure. They’ve set themselves up to let themselves down, which will erode their self-confidence and self-trust.
Don’t be like them: Choose something that you know you can absolutely commit to — and then hold yourself to that.
Second, learn to push yourself.
A lot of people need other people to push them and, sure, that can help. (Research does show that having an accountability partner can improve your success.)
But the minimum requirement before looking for an accountability partner is that you have to want your own success too. You can’t just outsource your own desire for success to someone else. (It doesn’t work like that.)
No one can want the things you want in life more than you. So if you constantly need someone else to push you or give you a hug when you fail, you probably won’t attain the level of success you want to, accountability partner or no accountability partner.
Not everyone who says it with their mouth will say it with their actions.
And without self-discipline, you will leave a lot of potential untapped.
Third, be rigid in the beginning.
To go back to my example with fitness, nowadays, I can take months off from the gym and not feel guilty. Why?
Because I know, once I get the opportunity to go work out again, I will do fine because I have built that strength of character for over a decade.
But I couldn’t do that when I was starting out because I didn’t have that equity.
I didn’t have that tool. I didn’t have that strength of character.
So when you’re starting a new pursuit, you have to be really, really rigid, strict, and unyielding — at least in the very beginning.
Whatever you promised yourself that you’ll do, you must do it no matter what.
Even if you’re sick. Even if you’re running on 3 hours of sleep. Even if you’re car broke down and you have to walk an hour to get there in the rain. No excuses.
Yes, I know this seems very harsh and strict, but then again, that’s why you’re reading this article. Because I want to give you the real advice that no one else will give you.
If you’re starting something — and you don’t have much self-discipline to begin with — that self-discipline won’t magically fall on your lap. You’re going to have to build those muscles. And the only way to do that is by being extremely strict with yourself in the beginning.
(Then, as you build that strength of character, you can become more flexible over time.)
Finally, get started with where you’re at and whatever you have.
To go back to the fitness example (which, honestly, is a super easy example to use), don’t wait until you have access to a gym before you start getting in shape. Start doing push-ups in your home. Start doing bodyweight squats. Start running up and down the stairs of your condo. Go for a jog.
There are a million things you can do right now to get into great shape. And more importantly, by doing those things, you’ll start to build your discipline muscles, which are far more important to your success than any gym on Earth.
If you want to write a blog, don’t wait until you have the coolest website design, the perfect domain name, or the best SEO strategy — just write a few articles and throw them up on a free website service like WordPress, Squarespace, Wix, etc.
By forcing yourself to write regularly, you’ll build the most important, foundational skill to your writing success. (Makes sense, right?)
If you want to travel more, you don’t have to wait until you’re rich or you can take weeks off from work — just hop in your car this weekend (or find a friend with a car), drive to a nearby town, and spend a day exploring.
It might not be Paris or Rio de Janeiro, but it’s the same purpose and it’ll help you build the habit of taking trips.
That’s really all it takes.
So get started today.
Start building those foundational skills and strength of character.
And watch how your discipline grows your life rapidly.
Ready to upgrade your relationships? I’ve created 5 free life hacks that will boost your results. If you use them, your life could change very quickly.