Self/Love
The Cost & Wisdom In Love.
December Prompt: “Can you help who you fall in love with?”
Love can cost people something and can bring wisdom.
“Can you help who you fall in love with?” Write a story around this prompt.” — Annelise Lords.
My best answer is I don’t know.
Love is complex, and helping a lover can be complicated and can create power struggles in a relationship.
My experience shows a true lover rarely needs help but self-love — wisdom. When people truly love themselves, they can love others without any strings attached — love costs you something without a payback.
That said, love is a powerful emotion that often closes many people’s eyes and distorts reality.
Jesus loved his followers and died for them. As of today, none of his followers die for him.
What can I say? Love can make many people and things beautiful or ugly. Anyway, keep looking for true love, and you’ll find her. We tend to see what we are looking for. Keep hope alive.
My turn
Once, love ruled over my emotions and made me sick. I fell in love with someone, and later, I gained wisdom from the relationship.
The truth is I was not sure of this lover, Kent, until we parted, and I became depressed and learned.
I dated Kent for less than a year, and his family members were good to me. All his family members and friends showed me kindness and care, a rare story for many people in those days.
Then something happened, and I questioned his character.
Know this
Many people tend to know the foundation of their relationship while dating — is it for help services or a meaningful relationship?
The trouble.
I went on a trip and got paid for my contract job during my absence. I requested the accountant to give the money to my lover. In those days, it was a cash transaction, and most people were honest.
When I returned, Kent brought the money to me and casually told me that he had used some of the funds for an emergency he had during my absence.
I was amazed and asked, “What would you have done without the money.” He got offended, and I took note of his behavior.
I loved and liked him dearly, but I wasn’t in the position to be his financial helper and tolerate a nasty attitude. I was unhappy he took the money, and his tone gave me sleepless nights to reflect on the relationship.
Last, I questioned, is he entitled to the air I breathe? Then, I knew the relationship would cost me more, and I learned.
He refunded the money, and I ended the relationship.
Why?
Kent was the last child of his family with zero family responsibility and still had no emergency fund. I wondered what he did with his excellent income, and the unbearable issue was his attitude of entitlement.
The relationship ended and cost me my health. However, I moved on with my life, and he did too. We remain friends until today.
What I learned from my experience.
Love can cost people something and bring wisdom — make a choice.
When people show you who they are, believe and thank them the first time.
A lover turns helper can blur the relationship lines ( I prefer to hire a helper).
I learned I couldn’t help my lover with things they could do, such as making and managing money.
I reminded myself that sometimes, love can cost many people a lot. Also, love can make people hold their loved ones helpless. For example, indiscriminately helping a lover can prevent them from growing or learning something new.
Today, I continue to help my lover with emotional support so that he can do what he can — master professional and daily living skills.
Love can cost people something and can bring wisdom. Be wise.
Thank you, Annelise Lords, for the prompt. It was a good reflection on my relationships. I appreciate you.