The Consequences of Sending Noods, Not Nudes

Media influence on teenage sexting.

Did you see the recent marketing campaign from Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?

The uproar on social media from parents and kids alike caused Kraft to remove the campaign before I even finished writing this story.

The commercial cleverly encouraged people to send noods (noodles), not nudes (photos), to their loved ones. The longer version made a point of saying, in a humorous manner, that you should never send nudes, only send noods.

The shorter version did not offer this satirical advice against sending nudes, it just encouraged sending noods. Did I lose you yet? There’s some savvy wordplay going on here.

The website, which has recently been removed, offered up a photo of a bowl of noodles, blurred out as if it were a nude photo. There is no question about the witty intention of this campaign.

Clever Marketing or Danergous Normalization?

Such a clever play on words, right? As an adult who is aware of the dangers and legal consequences of sending nude photos, I can chuckle at this and think some marketer has a great sense of humor.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the target audience for this advertisement. It was marketed toward my kids. We saw this commercial while watching CNN 10 together, a news program for teenagers. Most students who watch CNN 10 will see it in a school setting without the benefit of a post-show analysis with their parents.

This is why the Kraft commercial is so dangerous. Kraft is a well-known brand to most of our kids. They have a voice of influence in our children’s lives. We think we can ignore the messages in the media, but marketers have become very adept at sneaking into our subconscious thought processes.

When a well-known commodity like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese makes a joke about sending noods vs. nudes — it normalizes the idea of sharing nude photos. This is comfort food, it elicits a sense of comfort and safety in us because of our happy associations with the product. If they can joke about nudes, it must not be that bad, right? This must be a normal thing.

That’s the essence of normalization.

Something that should be seen as dangerous and illegal can slowly, over time, become seen as normal and harmless. With the encouragement of our favorite brand of mac & cheese.

This is irresponsible marketing. Making money cannot be the only thing that matters to companies. Making money is important, but not more important than the preservation of our society and our children. Normalizing dangerous behavior is just not ok.

Consequences of Sexting Between Minors

Regardless of the spectrum of views on the morality of sexting, we can all agree that children sending nude photos of themselves or others is dangerous both legally and socially. It has potential life-long consequences that teenagers might not fully understand. They can’t help it, their brains are still developing.

According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, the part of our brain responsible for rational thinking isn’t fully developed until around the age of 25.

In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.

In teen’s brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center are still developing — and not always at the same rate. That’s why when teens have overwhelming emotional input, they can’t explain later what they were thinking. They weren’t thinking as much as they were feeling.

Without the full function of that rational part of their brain, our teens might struggle to make good choices in this area. We need to support them by helping them to understand the potential legal and social consequences.

Legal Consequences

The legal consequences of sending nude photos or sexually explicit content vary state-to-state. However, if minors are involved, state and federal child pornography laws could come into play. Many of these laws were written before digital technology was prolific, and only some states have updated their laws to include specifics for sexting.

According to Bark, a family-oriented service that “monitors text messages, YouTube, emails, and 30+ different social networks for potential safety concerns”, possessing a nude photo of a minor, even if your teen is in a relationship with that person, could land them in legal trouble.

• Some states will treat sexting as a felony.
• Other states will treat sexting as a misdemeanor or lesser violation. In these states, judges order a fine, counseling, community service, or similar punishment.
• Some states (although this is becoming rarer) require sex offender registration, even if the offence occurred between two minors.
• Most states do not allow minors to provide legal consent, therefore mutual consent would only be a successful defence when the transaction occurred between two adults.
• According to VeryWell, if parents know about the sexting and do nothing to stop it, they could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor and risk being investigated by Child Protective Services and having their children placed in foster care.

The bottom line is that possessing or sharing nude photos of minors is illegal, regardless of your age. It can lead to serious consequences for everyone involved, including the parents.

Social Consequences

Most of us are aware by now of the social consequences of sending nude photos. As adults, we can form our own opinions on the morality of this behavior and we are free to choose whether or not to risk the potential social consequences.

For teenagers, the situation is different. Not only are there legal consequences to consider, but social consequences can be life-altering. Most teenagers are not adequately equipped to handle the fallout from private photos being shared publicly.

Why does this happen? Everything from social group sharing to bragging to revenge can motivate a teenager to share a photo they receive. The stories in the press are prolific, I’m not going to recount them here. We’ve all seen them. If you want an example, this story goes into detail about the harassment and tragic results for one young girl who never intended for the photos to be taken in the first place, but I will warn you, it’s upsetting.

One of the results of an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex is the feeling of invincibility. You probably remember this feeling from your youth; you know you’re breaking the rules, but you’re confident that you won’t get caught. For today’s teens, this can often result in unrealistic expectations of privacy when they hit that send button.

When that photo goes public, the sender can experience bullying, shaming, loss of friendship, and guilt. It can impact their self-esteem and leave them feeling lonely and hopeless. Teens often feel trapped, fearing the consequences of seeking help. This situation has been documented to result in depression and even suicide in some cases.

The results of this nightmare situation often don’t stop when the immediate interest dies down. Sometimes these photos linger on the internet indefinitely and can affect future job prospects and other relationships. There have been situations of photos being kept private for many years, only to be used to blackmail someone at a point in time that would be particularly devasting for the person in the photo. Not to mention the potential for the photo to fall into the hands of a sexual predator. The social and emotional consequences are far-reaching and likely impossible to control.

A Reasonable Response

I saw a variety of reactions to this commercial, ranging from a shrug to an all-out offence and ban of the entire brand. My response is somewhere in the middle, with two main action points.

First, realize that this is an easy conversation starter between you and your kids. If you did happen to see this commercial, you can talk about the repercussions of sharing or owning nude photos. You can also discuss how we are affected by marketing and even the responsibilities of companies to society. Bring your own values into the discussion and make it a safe space for your kids to process their thoughts without judgement.

It doesn’t have to be a lecture. Conversations with teens usually go better if you hear their thoughts as well. Ask good questions, allow them to dig deep and think it through without being “taught”. This is part of helping our kids develop into critical thinkers.

We can’t and shouldn’t try to hide all of the difficult things from our children. On the contrary, it is our job as parents to help them process what they saw. This prepares them for life outside of the family home. Don’t let the media teach your children what to think. Your influence and guidance matters.

Second, if you feel that the message a company is sending is irresponsible, let the company know.

Our society has forgotten how to disagree without “canceling”. Sometimes a company’s actions or character warrant canceling. But often, the appropriate response is more reserved. Contact the company and let them know that they crossed a line. If enough people do this, the company will respond. After all, they want to make money. If too many of their customers are unhappy they will change their tactics.

This is exactly what happened with Kraft. The reaction on social media sent a clear message to the company that they had crossed a line. The company acknowledged that they heard what their customers were saying and they removed the content.

To Make a Long Story Short

The recent ad campaign from Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, while perhaps clever and amusing, was marketed towards teenagers and could have the effect of normalizing sexting.

Regardless of your view on the morality of sexting, there are many reasons why sexting is dangerous for teenagers.

Sexting between minors is legally considered child pornography and is subject to both federal and state laws in the United States. Some states will treat these cases as felonies, even going so far as to require registration on the sex offender list. Sometimes the parents can also experience legal consequences, including having their children placed in foster care if they were complicit in the activity.

The social and emotional consequences of private photos becoming public can be devastating. Self-esteem can be affected, sometimes even leading to depression or suicide. The consequences can linger into adulthood affecting the ability to gain employment and even sometimes resulting in blackmail.

We can respond to irresponsible messages in the media in a measured way. My recommendations are to use it as an opening for discussion with your kids and consider contacting the company to let them know that they crossed a line. We can hold companies accountable for the effect they have on society, especially children, without ascribing to “cancel culture”.

This is not the worst offense committed in recent memory, but it is a dangerous message to be sending to our teenagers.

References:

• Wikipedia: Normalization (sociology)
• Merriam-Webster: Sexting definition
• University of Rochester Medical Center: Understanding the Teen Brain
• The Bark Blog: State-by-State Differences in Sexting Laws
• VeryWell Family: The Consequences of Sexting for Teens
• Rolling Stone: Sexting, Shame and Suicide
• Psychology Today: ‘Sexting’ and Suicide
• Cyber Bullying Research Center: Sexting Laws Across America