The Confounded English Language

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Abstract

accent was not the only difference between the northern and southern dialect of American English.</p><p id="5891">One day her next door neighbor knocked on her door.</p><p id="0d47">“Kin you jump off m’ car?” He asked in a slow southern drawl.</p><p id="128f">“Jump off your car?” My mother was puzzled by the strange question. She was much too old to be jumping off anything, much less a car. Why on earth would he be asking her such a silly question?</p><p id="a64a">“M’ battery’s dead. I got cables if you kin pull your car into m’ drive way.”</p><h2 id="d8b7">Hold on</h2><p id="3efb">Years ago, I had a friend who was from Turkey. She spoke English very well, or is it good? I should know this, because she constantly corrected me for this grammatical error.</p><p id="d6e8">One afternoon we were talking on the phone. My son spilled his drink on the kitchen counter and I needed to pause our conversation for a

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brief moment to clean up the juice before it ran over the edge and onto the floor.</p><p id="a32f">“Hold on, Ayla,” I said, as I stretched my phone cord to the limit, reaching for the roll of Bounty.</p><p id="6014">“To what?” She innocently asked.</p><h2 id="d907">Flying Whores</h2><p id="1ff5">My oldest daughter was an avid reader and a prolific writer at an early age.</p><p id="dbfa">When she was in second grade, she wrote a very long story about flying whores. I was shocked that she knew such a word, and mortified that she had written an entire story about whores.</p><p id="21e7">Then I saw the picture she had drawn on the last page — a winged horse soaring above a tree — and it made total sense.</p><h2 id="0e56">The moral of these stories:</h2><p id="1113">If you can’t find anyone who is willing to jump off your car, hold on, there might be flying whores who can give you a lift.</p></article></body>

It even confuses native speakers.

I have always wondered why we park on the driveway but drive on the parkway…no wonder people say English is the most difficult language to learn.

When Hollie Petit, Ph.D. shared the October prompt in Everything Fun, challenging us to share our fun experiences with misunderstandings, several exchanges came to mind.

Car Trouble

My mother, born and raised in Ohio, moved to Georgia late in life. She soon discovered that accent was not the only difference between the northern and southern dialect of American English.

One day her next door neighbor knocked on her door.

“Kin you jump off m’ car?” He asked in a slow southern drawl.

“Jump off your car?” My mother was puzzled by the strange question. She was much too old to be jumping off anything, much less a car. Why on earth would he be asking her such a silly question?

“M’ battery’s dead. I got cables if you kin pull your car into m’ drive way.”

Hold on

Years ago, I had a friend who was from Turkey. She spoke English very well, or is it good? I should know this, because she constantly corrected me for this grammatical error.

One afternoon we were talking on the phone. My son spilled his drink on the kitchen counter and I needed to pause our conversation for a brief moment to clean up the juice before it ran over the edge and onto the floor.

“Hold on, Ayla,” I said, as I stretched my phone cord to the limit, reaching for the roll of Bounty.

“To what?” She innocently asked.

Flying Whores

My oldest daughter was an avid reader and a prolific writer at an early age.

When she was in second grade, she wrote a very long story about flying whores. I was shocked that she knew such a word, and mortified that she had written an entire story about whores.

Then I saw the picture she had drawn on the last page — a winged horse soaring above a tree — and it made total sense.