The Complicated Art of Ordering Coffee
I’m a coffee addict. Having this addiction shouldn’t be a complicated matter, but these days ordering a coffee is anything but simple.
Boutique coffee shops such as Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Peets, to name a few, offer coffee drinks that have become works of art, with exotic names like Cinnamon Dolce Creme, Mocha Frappucino and Caramel Macchiato. And as if learning the names of these new drinks isn’t enough, I now have to familiarize myself with the new sizes being offered.
At Starbucks they have tall, grande and venti. At Coffee Bean they serve small, regular and large.
Doesn’t “regular” mean what you usually order? “I’ll have my regular.” Isn’t it presumptuous to assume that everyone’s regular is the drink in the middle?
And yesterday at the mall, I could have ordered an ernome from a barista who was only too happy to add an extra shot of caffeine for only .75 cents. Such a deal. An enorme coffee alone was enough to give me the jitters.
Every now and then I do stumble upon a small, medium and large menu. But then a small is what used to be medium, a medium is what used be a large and well…you get the picture. Food in this country has become Super Sized. Is that to fit our stomachs or our expanding egos?
Ordering coffee can be confusing.
The barista’s smile is not amusing!
I want a jolt of my favorite blend,
But the list of choices has no end.
Venti, tall, whipped or frap.
I really don’t give a crap.
Just give me a coffee, hot and strong.
I’ll pay the tab and move along.
The other day with my tall coffee in hand, my grandson excitedly showed me his report card. He got all 4’s. Fours! It appears that the grading system here in Los Angeles now uses numbers. What happened to the good old A,B,C,D & F system?
Speaking of numbers, the last time I went shopping I was completely confused as to what size I should buy. The store’s sizing started with a zero and went to up to five. Now, I’m a small person, so I guess I’d be a negative number. Who wants to feel like they’re less than nothing? And really who is getting fooled? If you’re a five at this shop, well, then you’re a large. Oh, excuse me, a venti.
Yes, the world is changing, whether I like it or not. Things are labeled differently today. Back in my mom’s time, a woman with a hot flash was a woman with a hot flash. Now, well, to be politically correct, we’re called hormonally challenged women.
And I say that’s enough of a challenge without having to learn how to order a coffee drink!