The Comments on My Article Calling Tom Brady Selfish and Self-Centered Highlighted the Differences in the Way in Which Men and Women’s Brains are Wired.

We think differently and that’s a fact.

When football season began, I wrote an article depicting Tom Brady as egotistical, self-centered, and selfish for choosing his football career over his wife and family life. You can read the full article here. (Tom Brady — Selfish, Egotistical, Self-Centered?)

My basic theme was that Brady’s wife, Giselle, handled everything related to the home and children for the 13 years they have been married while Tom pursued and exceeded his football career dreams. I was firmly in the Giselle camp that it was time for Tom to stay retired and focus on his family.

I expected different reactions from men and women and hoped to foster a debate based on those differences.

I got more than I bargained for. Yes, the comments were almost entirely along male/female lines, but two comments by the same male reader distinctly demonstrated how differently men’s and women’s brains are wired.

In general, the comments fell along these lines:

Women: Nothing is more important than family. His wife supported his career the entire time they have been married. He has achieved enough and has nothing left to prove. It’s time to give Giselle the time she is asking for.

Men: It’s his job. He’s great at it, and he should do it as long as he is able. She knew how much football meant to him when she married him.

Then there was the comment that prompted me to write this article:

One of my male readers said that “Tom actually showed his devotion to Giselle and family by forming a partnership with her on a high-end action wear clothing line bearing the Brady name.”

What? What? What? After I finished laughing at the absurdity of this statement, I pointed out to Mr. Man Brain reader that in no way, shape, or form, does collaboration on a business venture count as “being present” as a husband and father in the family.

Mr. Man Brain also questioned why I wrote that watching football on TV with his kids and wife did not count as “family time”.

Do we need any more proof than these two examples that female and male brains are wired differently? Men and women think differently.

To a woman, being present in the family means paying attention to her, listening to her concerns, going on “dates” together, spending time with each other, and enjoying each other’s company.

Related to the children, it means participating in school activities (not just sports), helping with homework, and learning what is important to them by listening to their concerns about the world.

To a man, being present in the family means — I don’t know. Living in the same house? Help me out, Mr. Men Brains. What does it mean to you?

To his credit, my Mr. Man Brain reader and commenter is a great sport (no pun intended) and has a good sense of humor. He wisely said that we should simply agree that men and women think differently. Neither is right nor wrong and we should accept the differences.

My articles often start with me explaining my point of view and end up with commenters giving me a different perspective and/or an idea for a subsequent article.

After reading the comments (private and public) on my Brady article, I did not change my view, but I did get a huge affirmation of what I already suspected. Male and female brains are wired differently and think differently, and that is not going to change.

That brings me to my next question. A topic for a future article, perhaps? Knowing and accepting that male and female brains are wired differently, is there anything we can do to come to a better solution for communicating with each other?

©2022 Joan Gershman

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