The Clean Science of Good Parenting is in its Ugly Art
Parenting is no simple matter to digest.
On the face of it, its science is empirical data, simple, straightforward, and clean. We have facts, figures, and case studies telling us how we can do the job right.
If we fail or need assistance, we can go to doctors and counselors for help.
Science
Science is the natural part. If we follow the rules and check the right boxes, we can be labeled good parents. When children are fed a well-balanced diet, clothed, and are up-to-date by doctor’s growth charts and performance measurements, we fulfill the science allowing them to be labeled healthy individuals.
We teach them what to do and what not to do to help them understand societal norms. And, we teach them how to become self-learners, often with electronics as tools. As we watch the learning process, we learn ourselves again; whether or not we choose to acknowledge this, we are life-long students.
The basics are in place:
- diet
- sleep
- shots
- learning
- discipline
When we use the basics to apply a scientific way of thinking, we can put the scientific method to use.
The scientific method
The steps involve asking a question, doing research, making an educated guess, proving ideas, then drawing conclusions about our children, their behaviors, and their lives.
As parents, we spend hours questioning, explaining, making logical conclusions, experimenting by trying something new, and making conclusions based on what we’ve learned.
The scientific method is clean and simple, but parents seem stressed beyond their limits.
Parents want their children to be better than they, themselves, are, and have better things than they had growing up. It’s a sweet sentiment that has no clear-cut rules for achievement.
Clean, clear boundaries meet the chaotic mess of creativity.
It’s where science meets art.
Art
If you think back to when you were a kid, you may remember using finger paints and coloring with crayons and markers. You naturally created art. My kids create so much art that the fridge, the desk, and nightstands are covered with their art.
I hope your childhood was busy creating art and that it was a part of your physical development.
The process of creating art is equally as messy as the ugly art of parenting, and we can make some observations about the process.
We can watch our children to learn why they act a certain way and in doing so, can determine if they have needs to be met at the moment. Should we intervene or let them learn by making their own decisions? When we observe at an emotional distance, we can learn about them without taking on their problems.
We can think more intentionally.
As they move and grow, they travel into new stages of life, and we continue to see their different stages of social and emotional development.
There’s no guide or rule book. It is a trial and error, day-in-day-out learning process.
Developing these skills is an art.
As a child, you cut, colored, glued until something pretty appeared. Once it was beautiful enough, you called it done.
You created.
The process was messy, but the result was something beautiful.
We cut and color in the daily lives of our children, shaping and molding them.
Sometimes it’s a messy process, but the result is someone we call beautiful.
Your children are art in the making.
How are you and your children making art today?
