The Choice of Being Who You Are

People say that choices will determine your life. Most of the time, we make decisions and act according to who we think we are, but we rarely stop and ask ourselves if those are the actions of the person we want to be.
Embracing the conscious choice of being who we are is one of life’s most significant trials. We have learned to act based on beliefs we didn’t choose, and we rarely stop, think about our core views, and understand how they affect our choices. As a result, we act to become someone we don’t want to be, feeling empty and scared.
Understanding Your Beliefs
Your beliefs determine the way you understand your reality. They shape your perspective and tell you who you are. Every time you make a decision, you choose based on your beliefs. Your situation doesn’t matter; you will always act based on your beliefs.
If you believe you are a success, you’ll find opportunities to succeed, but if you believe you are a failure, you’ll find excuses to fail.
To consciously become someone, first, you must understand your beliefs. You can decide to change and act focused on your goals, like starting a new workout routine to look healthy or investing to make money. But if you fail to identify the beliefs that fuel your actions, you’ll find yourself returning to habits that aren’t compatible with your goals.
To look healthy and make money, you must believe you are healthy and abundant. You can create a workout routine and start going to the gym every day, but if you believe you’re lazy, every unconscious action will go against working out, even if that’s what you want — the same with money. You can save money every month, but if you believe you are irresponsible, you’ll spend more than you save.
This conflict between your unconscious beliefs and your goals will work against you as a burden. Trying to create a habit or achieving a goal that isn’t compatible with your views is like swimming against the current with your hands tied to your feet. You’ll get frustrated and return to the habits that reaffirm everything you believe.
When you understand your core beliefs, you don’t set goals that aren’t compatible with who you want to be. Instead, you identify the main qualities in your ideal self and start changing how you think and feel about your reality to identify your limiting beliefs and consciously choose what you want.
Asking the Right Questions
Before setting any goal and creating an actionable plan to become someone, you should ask yourself a set of questions. These questions will help you understand who you are, who you want to be, and how you’ll become that person.
Start by asking yourself:
- Am I happy with who I am?
- What do I like about myself?
- What I don’t like about myself?
- What am I hiding?
- Who do I admire? And why?
Answer them and write them down before jumping to any conclusions. They will help you see if you are acting in coherence with your beliefs, making it easier to identify behaviors and assumptions that create conflict with the person you want to become.
If the answer to the first question is “no,” there’s probably a conflict between your beliefs and goals, and you should continue to question yourself to solve it.
After you have your clear answers, ask yourself the following questions to define the relationship between who you are and your beliefs:
- What do I believe about myself?
- What do I believe about my reality?
- When did I first start believing _____?
- Who taught me _____?
- Did I ever question this teaching?
- Have I ever discussed this teaching with someone who disagrees or sees it differently?
- Are my beliefs compatible with who I want to be?
These questions will allow you to challenge every unwanted belief and assumption. They will help you release every goal conflicting with the views you consciously choose and change every opinion that won’t support the person you want to become.
When you have all the answers, list every belief you have about yourself, every idea about your reality, and everything you believe about others. Take the time to write down your core beliefs to understand where they come from and why you chose them. That way, you’ll identify what assumptions you consciously choose, and you’ll get to decide if they serve you. You can also write down a list of the goals you want to achieve and see if the beliefs you choose will get you towards your goals or away from them.
Changing your beliefs
As I said at the beginning of the article, we usually act according to who we think we are, and now we know that we are what we believe in. The most challenging part of becoming who you want to be is changing limiting beliefs that lead you to make unconscious decisions you regret and practicing positive thinking to support decisions you feel proud of.
As you identify your core beliefs by asking the right questions, you put yourself in a position to choose. If you realize you believe you are weak, you get to challenge that belief with conscious actions that will help you change that perspective and experience a reality in which you are strong. You shouldn’t focus on the outcome but on the process of changing the way you see, think, and feel about yourself.
Changing your beliefs is the process of becoming a different person, letting go of someone you thought you were, and attracting someone you want to become. To achieve this, you need to be honest and aware.
Awareness will help you identify moments when you choose to go back to unwanted beliefs because you are scared of change, and honesty will help you understand why you are returning to those beliefs you are consciously trying to change. And the integration of both into your lifestyle will help you choose your perspective and beliefs.
The Freedom of Choosing
When you stop and question your beliefs, you create the habit of choosing who you are. You become responsible for your views based on what you think and feel, not what others tell you. You free yourself from ideologies and dogmas that limit your experience to seek balance. And you are also assuming the responsibility to suffer the consequences of choosing.
Choosing your views and goals is the base of everything you experience. Ask the questions and review your behavior whenever you want to experience the freedom of choice. You can question your beliefs whenever you feel disconnected or lost and choose based on who you want to be to pave the way for intentional transformation. Becoming who you are is choosing your beliefs with freedom and responsibility, relying on honesty and awareness to liberate yourself from external dictates, and constantly accepting your responsibility in every decision.
Awareness, meditation, and observation will give you the knowledge and wisdom to question your beliefs. Wisdom will give you the freedom to choose your behavior and commitment to accept every consequence of your actions. And the freedom you can get is directly proportional to the responsibility you accept in your life.
Choosing to become who you are is an experience of freedom. You can consciously become someone you choose to be or unconsciously become someone you don’t want to be. In the end, you are free to choose.
