avatarJimmy Meyer

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munication. You cannot focus on any conversation fully, and when this happens; you feel less confident and basically helpless.</p><p id="75a5">That inner dialogue in your head makes you uncomfortable and less confident, and one of the best pieces of advice I learned was to make up a phrase in your head that can remind you to stop worrying about yourself. Mine is:</p><p id="f8cf" type="7">“I am a confident man and no other fucking idiot will tell me otherwise.”</p><p id="449e">I know it’s aggressive, but that aggression, for me, emphasizes the importance of focusing that inner narrator on others rather than thyself. A simple phrase can help you overcome the awkward and weird and downright stupid thoughts you may have about yourself psychologically. Also, make it your own. Create a phrase that fits YOU and what you feel.</p><h1 id="22e8">Stop overthinking, just react.</h1><p id="d8ba">As we reflect on what makes us self-conscious in the first place, one idea that is deep within the catacombs of our psychology is the protection of our identity. We live, breathe, and act because of our identity and we try to make it as best as it can be. But focusing on perfecting that identity is creating a cage in your mind, and you’ve locked the door from having any new experiences or insights influencing your identity organically.</p><p id="f1e4">Once you unlock those doors of insecurity and extreme worry about yourself, your mind is free to think for itself and it can then react with originality and with the proper context, instead of having the context be what you think it should be.</p><p id="c5d8">I used to overthink in my head when I had to interact with certain groups of people. I would go over the words in my head and feel like it was

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going to go great when I say it in person, but that wasn’t the case. It never was. Why? Because I was choosing the words to reflect the person, I wanted to be. It's a poor strategy.</p><p id="6ba4">Once I said fuck it and didn’t think of those things at all, I felt way more confident and it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. I was simply reacting.</p><p id="e97f">When I starting owning my eczema, I realized I could say it to people and not feel hesitant and scared. It was a relief, and by letting it out I could focus on more of the conversation I had with people. I thought that the eczema was the problem, but it was really me, caging myself into that mindset.</p><p id="5d59">For me, it’s eczema. For you, it could be anything. I knew a guy that was very self-conscious about a tiny piece of hair that would stick up at the backside of his head. I thought it was crazy, that tiny piece of hair. It would make him feel so bad about himself, even irate. But now you realize that it's the mindset that was the root problem, and it could have led to other details of himself that he could have poked at, thus decreasing his self-confidence even further.</p><p id="ea0b">So, accept yourself and just react.</p><p id="db5d">We all have to understand that self-consciousness is just a way of thinking about yourself, nothing other than that. But, it hinders a lot. Not having the ability to focus on the present and just organically being one’s self is tiresome, and you have to wake up from that stupid nap and just be you.</p><p id="cf3d">Come up with a phrase and let it be your key to unlocking that stupid fucking cage called self-consciousness. Also, learn to mute that inner dialogue in that head of yours. The guy's a real asshole.</p></article></body>

The Cage That Is Self-Consciousness

Unlock That Door And Be Free

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

Imagine yourself as a child, roaming around the school, running in the playground, not having a care for the world other than having fun. You weren’t thinking about yourself and it was quite the contrary. Everything was external.

You didn’t care how other people looked at you, and you focused on paying attention to the world and what was around you. What happened to that? Such bliss.

Now you are older, and that little narrator in your head, walking through your life and its decisions daily is focusing its attention inward, not realizing that there is a sea of people, places and things outside that are more worthy of that attention.

Having dealt with Eczema for most of my adult life, social anxiety and being self-conscious was second nature. Bathing in that negative mindset for so long made me so uncomfortable when meeting new people, which felt more like a chore than anything else. I wanted to re-wire that mindset and become more liberating, more jovial, and less hard on myself. So I did a few things over the years that have helped me overcome those issues.

Change Your Story

If you want to be a great communicator, being self-conscious is essentially a curse hindering your ability to elevate your communication. You cannot focus on any conversation fully, and when this happens; you feel less confident and basically helpless.

That inner dialogue in your head makes you uncomfortable and less confident, and one of the best pieces of advice I learned was to make up a phrase in your head that can remind you to stop worrying about yourself. Mine is:

“I am a confident man and no other fucking idiot will tell me otherwise.”

I know it’s aggressive, but that aggression, for me, emphasizes the importance of focusing that inner narrator on others rather than thyself. A simple phrase can help you overcome the awkward and weird and downright stupid thoughts you may have about yourself psychologically. Also, make it your own. Create a phrase that fits YOU and what you feel.

Stop overthinking, just react.

As we reflect on what makes us self-conscious in the first place, one idea that is deep within the catacombs of our psychology is the protection of our identity. We live, breathe, and act because of our identity and we try to make it as best as it can be. But focusing on perfecting that identity is creating a cage in your mind, and you’ve locked the door from having any new experiences or insights influencing your identity organically.

Once you unlock those doors of insecurity and extreme worry about yourself, your mind is free to think for itself and it can then react with originality and with the proper context, instead of having the context be what you think it should be.

I used to overthink in my head when I had to interact with certain groups of people. I would go over the words in my head and feel like it was going to go great when I say it in person, but that wasn’t the case. It never was. Why? Because I was choosing the words to reflect the person, I wanted to be. It's a poor strategy.

Once I said fuck it and didn’t think of those things at all, I felt way more confident and it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. I was simply reacting.

When I starting owning my eczema, I realized I could say it to people and not feel hesitant and scared. It was a relief, and by letting it out I could focus on more of the conversation I had with people. I thought that the eczema was the problem, but it was really me, caging myself into that mindset.

For me, it’s eczema. For you, it could be anything. I knew a guy that was very self-conscious about a tiny piece of hair that would stick up at the backside of his head. I thought it was crazy, that tiny piece of hair. It would make him feel so bad about himself, even irate. But now you realize that it's the mindset that was the root problem, and it could have led to other details of himself that he could have poked at, thus decreasing his self-confidence even further.

So, accept yourself and just react.

We all have to understand that self-consciousness is just a way of thinking about yourself, nothing other than that. But, it hinders a lot. Not having the ability to focus on the present and just organically being one’s self is tiresome, and you have to wake up from that stupid nap and just be you.

Come up with a phrase and let it be your key to unlocking that stupid fucking cage called self-consciousness. Also, learn to mute that inner dialogue in that head of yours. The guy's a real asshole.

Self
Self Improvement
Mindfulness
Self-awareness
Lifehacks
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