The Burly Man and the Little Boy

And thoughts on motherhood

Carolyn and Sasha had been driving all day. In the late afternoon they came to a small town and stopped to refuel the car. While Sasha went to the restroom Carolyn swiped her card then began pumping fuel into the car. She looked around at the town which had no distinguishing features. It could have been any small town anywhere in the country. There seemed to be little activity and many of the buildings were in a state of disrepair. The parking lot of the service station was littered with trash.

Just then a jacked up pickup truck with huge wheels pulled into the service station and stopped on the other side of the fuel pumps from Carolyn. A large burly man with a gigantic belly jumped down out of the truck. He was wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off, dirty jeans and cowboy boots. On his head was a MAGA baseball cap.

The burly man stepped to the other side of the pumps and looked Carolyn in the eyes. He then looked down and scanned her body. He smiled as his gaze returned to her face, “Howdy ma’am. I saw from your license plate that you’re not from around here. What brings you to our quaint little town?”

“Nothing more than a need for gas.”

The burly man winked at Carolyn then stepped back to his side of the pumps in order to start fueling his truck. That is when Carolyn noticed a small boy, perhaps four or five years old, staring at her from the back seat of the truck’s cab. Clearing her mind of all thoughts, she mentally sent the little boy a huge dose of love.

The little boy smiled and waved at her. Carolyn smiled and waved back.

Returning from the restroom, Sasha appeared, “How’s it going?”

“I’ve really got to pee. The tank is almost full. Can you finish gassing up?”

“Sure.”

“And don’t forget to get the receipt.”

As Carolyn began to head for the restroom the burly man stepped in front of her, “Uh… so are you gals lesbians?”

Sasha looked at him very sternly, “Excuse me!”

Carolyn grunted derisively then stepped around him to proceed to the restroom.

Scanning Sasha from head to toe and back, the burly man threw his arms into the air, “Hey, I don’t have anything against lesbians. I don’t care for faggots but I’m perfectly okay with lesbians.”

Sasha stared at the burly man. Her facial expression was beaming with disgust and contempt. Then the fuel hose stopped pumping. She turned her back to the burly man as she took the fueling nozzle out of the opening to the gas tank and screwed the cap back on. As the burly man intensely studied her buttock region Sasha replaced the nozzle in the cradle on the pump and pulled off the receipt.

That is when the burly man’s fueling stopped. He returned to his truck to deal with that.

Sasha got into the passenger seat of the car and lowered her car door window to let some air into the now hot car. That is when she noticed the little boy in the back seat of the burly man’s truck. She cleared her mind of all thoughts then mentally sent him a big dose of love energy. The little boy smiled and waved at her.

Sasha smiled and waved back at the boy.

Then suddenly the head of the burly man poked into the car. His breath smelled of beer and cigarette smoke. “Hey, there’s a little bar a couple of blocks up the road. I’m headed there for a cold one. If you gals are in need of some refreshment why don’t you stop in and I’ll buy each of you a beer.”

The disgust and contempt returned to her face, “No thanks!”

The burly man snorted then withdrew his head from the car.

Much to Sasha’s relief, Carolyn was now walking back to the car. She got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

Sasha looked back at the little boy who was still smiling. As the car began moving the little boy waved good-bye to Sasha and Sasha waved back.

Carolyn and Sasha remained in silence through the rest of that town. It was when they were back out in open country that Sasha spoke up, “Hey, did you see that little boy in that disgusting man’s pickup truck?”

Carolyn’s face lit up, “Yes! I did. He was such a little cutie pie. I just wanted to eat him up. I’m assuming, though, that Fatso is his father. That made me feel truly sad for the boy. Small children that age learn by osmosis. They pick up all the negative thoughts and emotions of their parents and their environment. They not only pick up what their parents say but what they think. The first six years or so of a kid’s life their subconscious is programmed by everything in their immediate surroundings. I hope that boy doesn’t turn out just like his dad. I sure hope he’s got a loving mother.”

Sasha turned to look at the scenery outside of her side of the car. She wished that she had had a loving mother.

After a moment of silence Sasha turned back to Carolyn, “So is that why you broke up with Jonathon?”

“What? Uh… What do you mean?”

“Well, I thought you two were a match made in heaven. You seemed so perfect for each other. I thought for sure you would tie the knot. But you left because he wasn’t daddy material, right?”

Carolyn slowly began nodding her head affirmatively, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean I loved him… I still do. But seriously, the guy is brimming with negative programming. He’s got a mountain full of issues and he won’t even acknowledge that much less try to reprogram his life and release those issues in order to change and become more aware and happier. I kept thinking he was about to ask me to marry him and that really started to scare me. I didn’t want him to transfer all that negative programming to a baby.”

“And that, my dear Carolyn, is why I don’t want to have children. Heck, that’s why I don’t ever want to get married. I’ve got so many freaking issues myself that I could spend the rest of my life dealing with them and releasing all the negative programming and I still probably wouldn’t get past everything.”

“Sasha, everyone is fucked up! We all have issues and negative programming that we need to release and re-script. We all want to be free of that and begin living our authentic life. I could spend the rest of my life working on it, too, but that is not a good enough reason to never have children.”

“I dunno. I’m done with men and children and the whole mating thing. I’m more concerned with myself and finding happiness.”

“I want to be happy, too. But I also want a child… children… I have so much love deep inside me. It’s gonna take more than just one man to pull it out of me. Nothing brings the love out of us more so than a child. Plus I want to experience the love a baby has for their mother. It’s all about love…”

Carolyn continued, “I read something online by this woman. She said that her baby turned out to be the greatest teacher she ever had. It changed her life. She loved the baby so much that she did everything she could to provide the baby with an environment that was as love-based as she could make it. She wanted the baby to grow up loving itself and free of as much negative programming as possible. And in the process she realized that the baby was drawing her out of her own incessant thinking and negative programming into the present. Into the now. The baby helped her realize and acknowledge all her issues and therefore release them so that they would not impinge on what the baby was taking in through its environment. The baby was her guru. Or maybe it was her love for the baby that transformed her. Love transforms everything…”

After a pause Carolyn continued, “You know, we blame men for everything. They have fucked up our world, sure, but all men have something in common. They all had a mother so we share the responsibility because it is us who raised them. It is up to us females to change the world but we can’t change it by hating men. We can only change it by loving men… from the very second they plop out of our bellies. Having a baby is an opportunity to help change the world. It is only the strongest kind of love, like the love of a mother for her child, that will transform the world.”

After a few moments of silence Sasha spoke up, “So why the heck are you driving halfway across the country?”

“I told you. After breaking it off with Jonathon I needed to get away and clear my head. I just needed to get away for a while.”

“So why am I here in the car with you?”

“What? Are you serious? You’re the best roommate I’ve ever had. You’re my BFF. I was there for you when you broke up with Ramon. I guess… I guess I sort of want you here for me as I get over Jonathon.”

Sasha smiled, “Well, I’m here for you… and the conversation. I guess that’s another strong kind of love; the love between females.”

“Right fucking on!” shouted Carolyn.

Carolyn and Sasha then fell into a prolonged silence. Sasha turned and stared out the car window at the passing scenery while she thought about that little boy back at the gas station.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Stories by White Feather

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