The Bright Green Button that Haunts My Dreams

The question is, “should I click on it?”

My finger is twitching!

I am waiting with bated breath! That button is staring at me, taunting me. Big, bold, and bright. Hold, hold…no, I will not do it. I cannot. I must read through my post one more time.

And, it’s a far, far better thing I do because I found a slew of errors. And cliches. Then everything disappears!

My eyes fly open and my head snaps up. Thank goodness, I am only dreaming!

Wow, I fell asleep at my desk debating whether to click on that bright, very bright green button — publish.

It’s one o’clock in the morning and I am usually in bed by 10 p.m. I must learn restraint when it comes to my writing.

That is just one of many issues I’ve wrestled over the past five months. In fact, my life has changed completely. My focus, purpose, meaning, activities — everything has transformed.

What precipitated this thing that has happened to me?

I became a writer.

In my mind, at least. I jumped on the bandwagon and I am hanging on for dear life.

For example, the other night at a church function, everybody was asked to introduce themselves. I stood up and blurted out, “My name is Debbie, and I am a writer!”

Everybody clapped, and I sat back down. I did it! My first public announcement.

Now, mind you, I didn’t say I am a great writer or even a good one. But I am thinking and putting words on a page.

Meanwhile, I did not even say writing is easy for me. It is not. Also, I am by no means a prolific writer. I stare, and agonize, and bleed onto the page. Hmm. Another famous cliche.

It takes anywhere from three hours to three weeks to compose whatever I am working on. Wow. I ended with a preposition. Will I ever learn?

And I see so many “I” s. I’s here, I’s there, I’s everywhere.

How can I make my writing better?

Two things.

· I am determined to master the craft of writing, which may take a lifetime.

· I am committed to doing the work.

I think that is all I can expect from myself or any other writer, for that matter.

Wait, here I go again. Waiting for that next elusive word while eating ranch-flavored popcorn and staring into space.

Dang, it! I think I cracked a tooth on a kernel. Just one more tidbit in a long line of distractions.

What shall I do?

Focus, stare, agonize, bleed, learn, commit, be happy doing it — and don’t hit that bright green button until your draft is finished!

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Debbie Walker is a great-grandmother, blogger, and writer with a BA in Psychology. Her vision is to help others live the life they desire to live…one word at a time. Stay in touch with her at [email protected].