The Corporate Circus

The Boss Proclaimed, “Joe Is a Leader,” At Our Staff Meeting, Joe Self-Identified As Incompetent

Why must they hire their unqualified friends?

“You do not realize how much incompetence is in the workplace until you become a supervisor.” ― Steven Magee

Twice in my corporate career, my bosses hired people they knew from outside to do a job requiring specialized technical skills. Both times, the people hired turned out to be unqualified. They knew they lacked the skills to do the job. In an effort to mask their inadequacies, they were unmitigated jerks. I mean, the kind of asshats you want to slap with a wet fish for all the trouble they are causing everyone else in the organization.

Two Times Is A Charm

When I was a Principal Engineer, certified by the state to sign off on design drawings, the boss hired a non-certified engineer friend and asked me to “mentor” him as he learned our processes. I knew this person was not qualified because we had taken the same accelerated Engineer in Training course to prep for the state exam. The course was for engineers who had been out of school for at least a year but had not taken the professional test. He never attended study groups or answer sessions. I passed; he did not.

He continually produced sub-par designs I needed to redesign to sign off. I redid his work for three months. Then I refused to stamp any more of his work-sending it back. I marked up and returned his work with enough red lines, so he realized what was incorrect. He needed to figure out how to fix the issues himself.

After six months of that treatment, when not even one of his designs would be signed off by the other professional engineers in the office or me, the boss’s response was to promote him to a non-technical individual contributor position at a different site. I was happy to see him go and helped him plan his goodbye party. Goodbye, see ya, don’t come back.

When I was a vice president, the person hired was so clueless that they did not recognize I had been given a directive by the boss not to “damage him.” This was because an unaware person will do clueless things which are hard or unsafe to ignore. He did not know the boss had rigged the game for him. He was only hired because the boss had a special meeting with his staff, so we would all vote for his choice to fill an open position. At our very first staff meeting with this man, he answered questions he did not know the answer to as if he did. It was something to witness. The dude had a six-figure job he did not deserve. He could not figure that out. He still hasn’t.

Once he was in the company, the man acted so badly that he ruined his chances and mine of getting promoted. Let me restate that: he ruined his chances of being promoted higher; I destroyed my own chances because of my reactions to all his foolishness. He was the golden boy not to be touched, and I touched him a lot. I committed the cardinal sin of not turning a blind eye when it placed the corporation or its people in peril. We started missing objectives with him in place and never caught up again.

I Did Not Leave

There have been times in my career when I knew what to do, and I did it. This was a time when I knew what to do — leave — but did not do it because I was too comfortable. Thinking back on it now, I should have left the company when I realized he was a snake, but I did not. A cobra who is the boss’s beer mate is hard to kill because you can never strike without pissing off your boss. I stayed around, thinking I could add value and protect my people and the company — silly me. My boss got promoted. When the new bosses from the UK came on board, I got the golden boot, but the snake kept his job. Isn’t life grand?

My advice, now, to all who end up with the boss’s stupid friend as an equal or supervisor is to run. Get out: transfer or find another job. The friend does not know that they are not up to par. They have always gotten a trophy. They behave as if they are qualified: making you and your team’s life miserable as you clean up their messes.

Remember, the friend has the boss’s ear, so you can not win in the game of the first liar wins because they are always the first liar. Your skill and expertise are worth almost nothing because the friend was hired without the requisite skills. They are not expected to have qualifications that match yours. Their primary qualification is being your boss’s friend. Check and mate. There is no counter to I’m the boss’s friend.

Lose — Lose

It is a lose-lose situation. Make your move out of there. Don’t burn bridges as you leave; get your stuff and go somewhere else to improve your life and career. It is a bitter experience to leave behind an organization you know how to help but can’t. You must think of yourself first because, in this case, it will not all work out in the end.

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