SEUSSOLOGY
The Boob Book
Baby’s First Breastfeeding Primer
With apologies to the late Theodor Seuss Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss.
Left boob, right boob, left boob, right;
Tits in the morning, tits all night.
Left breast, right breast; left breast, right;
Wet boob, dry boob, low boob, high boob;
Left boob, right boob;
Teat teat teats! Oh how many teats you meet!
Slow breasts, quick breasts, trick breasts, sick breasts;*
Up teats, down teats, here come clown teats!
Small tits, big tits, here come pig tits;
Lax ones, buff ones, saggy ruff ones.
Their teats, her teats, fuzzy fur teats
In the pump and on the street,
How many, many teats you’ll meet.
Up in the air teats, over a chair teats;**
More and more teats, twenty four teats!
Here come more and more and more teats;
Left one, right one, teat teat teats!
Oh how many teats you meet!
*mastitis sucks!
**After six kids, I could probably jump rope with mine.
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