The Biggest Spiritual Mistake Addicts Make In Recovery

‘If you do exactly what I tell you to do,’ said my first sponsor in cocaine anonymous, ‘you’ll never have to use again.’

My eyes lit up.

‘What I want you to do now,’ he continued, ‘as soon as you get out of bed each morning is to get on your hands and knees and pray for a sober and clean day.’

I nodded repeatedly.

‘And last thing at night, before you go to bed, get on your hands and knees again and say, “Thank you, God, for keeping me sober.”’

Off into the dark yonder, I went, praying morning and night for the next five years, at times pleading and begging God for another sober day.

I wasted a lot of time praying for sobriety in recovery.

Although my first sponsor was sincere, the truth was nothing could keep me sober and clean, not even prayers to God.

Santa Clauss is Coming To Town

“We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.” ~ The Big Book, page 87.

Addicts praying to stay sober are committing the number one cardinal sin in recovery and have missed the essence of what prayer is about.

Prayer is not about outright wants and demands.

Just asking for things without any new lived experience is immature and foolish. Where is the growth?

Hoping that a bunch of desperate words put out there will magically manifest, law of attraction style, what we want, is delusional.

This is the easier and softer route of doing recovery, working it on our terms, which, for the chronic relapser, does not work.

Recovery isn’t about you anymore; it’s about how you can be helpful to others and make a difference.

Praying for a specific need and result uses God as a Santa Clauss figure. Prayer becomes a fantasy wish list of everything you want to make you happy and your life easier.

When what we really need is a psyche change.

‘Prayer doesn’t change your reality or circumstances it changes the pray-er.’ ~ Herb K.

What we really need is a meaningful purpose.

Kneel Before the Throne of the Invisible God

“Prayer is a positive mental transaction within your own mind. Prayer is what you say about yourself, within yourself.” ~ Rev Ike

So, what is prayer then?

Prayer is a request for assistance or help.

It’s a form of focused meditation. Its intention is the effective transmission and communication of thoughts and feelings.

In fact, prayer goes hand in glove with meditation — what guidance you ask for in prayer, you listen to what is revealed in meditation.

Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening to God.

But the revelation doesn’t stop at the meditation cushion. More will be revealed in your daily life experience.

Any information shown in this process that is acted upon will lead you to a new experience, guiding you to an answer and, undoubtedly, another question.

That’s how prayers are answered.

Prayer is about growth and consciousness.

And in recovery, the answer is always in the form of a question asked in prayer.

The Only Thing You Know for Sure Is That You Don’t Know

“Please set it all aside so that I can be taken to a place I have never been, a place I don’t yet know exists.” ~ The Set Aside Prayer

Prayers can’t be answered when you’re filled with wants and needs. You’re blocked. No real transformation can occur, no matter how much information you have.

You have to let go of old ideas.

To have something you’ve never had, you have to be willing to do something you’ve never done.

When we get out of the way, come with an open mind and heart, and seek a new experience, something else can happen.

Pray for clarity, willingness and honesty, not sobriety.

Praying for Sobriety Is the Worst Kind of Recovery

The promise of the twelve steps, as written in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book), is that by step nine, the addiction problem has been removed.

Yet you find many recovered addicts with ten, twenty and thirty years of sobriety still praying for another sober and clean day.

If the problem has been removed and we’ve recovered, why are we still praying for sobriety?

That’s like praying to get well from the flu and then getting well, but still praying every day to recover once you’re better. Go figure?

Of course, you can catch the flu again, but we don’t pray every day not to get the flu. That’s not up to us!

Begging God for clean time is the most self-centered thing you can do.

After Thought

“My destination is no longer a place, rather a new way of seeing.” ~ Marcel Proust

I no longer pray for clean time or for any wants or needs. Instead, I pray to be shown what I should be doing and the consciousness and courage to carry that out.

Recovery is not about trying to stay sober and clean. It’s about letting go of control and letting something else in.

Sobriety is something that happens to you, not by you. It’s a gift.

Willingness and grace make that happen. It’s co-creation. Being willing to let go and have faith allows something else to happen. When you do, life begins to flow.

We don’t know how it happens. We just know that it does happen.

And an unselfish, heartfelt prayer is the magic that makes it work.

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