The Biggest 10 Lessons that I have learned from my Mid-20s
I’ll be turning 26 in less than a month. As I leave my early 20s, I cannot help but feel like I am entering a different chapter of my life. I am feeling overwhelmed, but also excited to see what 26 has to offer.
While there are many similar posts titled “Lessons that I have learned at Age 26” or “Things that I Wished I had Known Earlier,” I wanted to take some time for reflection because your 20s are such a crazy period of change, growth, and new beginnings. Everyone has a different version of the story to tell because everyone is going at a different pace.
- No one tells you what you “should” do
Up until this point in our lives, a majority of us have probably gone to school for 22 years and have lived with our parents for a huge chunk of our lives. We are used to getting good grades and performing well to fit into standardized testing norms at school. At home, we are used to being told what to do because it is “good for us.”
The transition to adulthood means that we have more freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want. However, this also means that we are responsible for our actions. Simple things, like sleeping early so that we are well-rested the next day and working out so that we feel good to become deliberate choices with consequences.
2. Mistakes are learning opportunities
As a recovering perfectionist, I struggled with this one. The more I ruminated over my mistakes, the more fixated I became on what should have happened but did not. This made me feel unworthy, unloved, and incapable.
Rather than self-blame, I began to welcome each mistake as a learning opportunity. While this mindset shift did not happen overnight, I realized that the sooner I was able to accept this, the easier it was to let go and move on. Life is full of learning opportunities, so this is a reminder to be kind to yourself.
3. Learning is a lifelong process
I used to think that learning only strictly happens in the classroom, where we “prove” what we have learned by regurgitating facts in exams and homework assignments.
Now, I realize that learning happens everywhere, and at any given moment. My motto has changed to: Treat every moment as a learning opportunity. Start investing in books and podcasts that better you, surround yourself with people who offer different perspectives, and declutter your environment to welcome learning and growth.
4. Self-awareness is your friend
Our early 20s can feel like a tumultuous period where we often feel lost and scared because we are still figuring out what we want. More often than not, we may feel like we should do something based on societal expectations, peer pressure, and standards of comparison. Living in the Age of Information, it is especially hard to turn off these outside noises.
This is why self-awareness is so important. By developing awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, we can better tune into our emotional, physical, and mental needs. Self-awareness is a tool for better decision-making and everyday choices. Some ways to develop greater self-awareness include: journaling, pausing before responding, and listening to the way how you talk about yourself in front of others.
5. Speak up about your needs
I used to be afraid to speak up about my needs because I saw that as a sign of “weakness” and an inability to problem-solve on my own. Additionally, as an introvert, I find it difficult to always share what is on my mind.
“Tenderness is our superpower”
-EJ Hills The Lily League at the Harvard Radcliffe Institute
However, I am learning the power of empathy: “tenderness is our superpower.” Sometimes, we may not be able to problem-solve right away, but sharing evokes feelings of relatedness that is so powerful and exactly what makes us human. It is also important to self-advocate and communicates so that others can understand and respect your boundaries.
6. Your parents are also flawed human beings
Growing up, we view our parents as superheroes who are capable of everything. Over time, we begin to realize that this is not true. Our relationship with our parents goes through stages of good and bad before it gets good again.
Navigating this ever-changing dynamic is not easy, but important because so much of our childhood is rooted in this experience. No matter how good or bad this experience was for us, if we want to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, we can turn towards this relationship as one way to heal our inner child wounds and develop clarity to guide our future actions.
7. Financial responsibility
Getting your first job is exciting, but that also means having to pay for the bills: student loan repayment, health insurance, credit card bills, rent, etc. Taking a personal finance course to learn how to budget and invest money wisely could be beneficial for future financial goals. While money does not buy happiness, not having money restricts your lifestyle and sense of freedom. Like investing and saving, developing financially-savvy skills as early as possible goes a long way down the road!
8. The Power of Now
“The Power of Now” -Eckhart Tolle
Not in the past, not in the future, but in the present.
Over-ruminating in the past could result in inaction, where we are stuck with a version of who we used to be. Simultaneously, too much futuristic planning can also result in inaction, where we push things off until later because there is still time. Living in the future can also feel like nothing is ever “enough” because we are so caught up with the idea of “what will be” that we fail to stop, enjoy the process, and recognize the progress that we have already made.
Living in the present moment means choosing your happiness now and trusting your judgment to act right now. We have to let go of the rest because it is out of our control.
9. Time passes by so quickly
My piano teacher once told me: “The older you get, the faster time flies by.” Now, I finally get it.
With only so many hours in a day and so many things to do, it is important to learn how to time manage, prioritize, and focus so that we can maximize our productivity for things that matter to us.
Of course, life is full of surprises of last-minute reunions or two-hour-long calls with bill companies. However, that just means we have to embrace the Power of Now and cherish every moment with family, friends, and loved ones.
10. Life is full of compromises
People tell you that you can have it all: a great career, relationships, health, family, money, etc. In reality, this is a flawed image of what we hope to have because we fail to recognize that good thing take time, effort, and patience to manifest.
As a high-achiever who wants to be the best at everything, it took a while for me to realize this. But by accepting that life is full of compromises, I soon realize that it is much more effective to choose one or two things that you want and develop a clear vision with action steps to execute it instead.
Final Thoughts
While my early 20s have felt tumultuous and confusing at times, there were also lots of laughter and happiness. It is not easy becoming the person you aspire to be, while simultaneously figuring out what that will look like, and balancing everyday responsibilities. Life is so messy, complicated, and beautiful.
I am excited to see where 26 and the latter half of my 20s will take me!