The Better Way to Improve Your Life with Gratitude Journaling

Learning how to see the silver lining during your darkest times

World renown author Stephen King suffered horrific bodily injuries when he was struck by a vehicle while walking along the side of a road in 1999¹. The driver, Bryan Smith, was momentarily distracted by his Rottweiler when he veered off of the road and flung Mr. King over the van’s windshield, where he landed in the ditch.

Stephen King sustained numerous injuries, including a punctured lung, broken hip and right leg, broken ribs, and a gash on his forehead. Later when he found out that he could have died, his response to the questions regarding his thoughts on the accident was always “Gratitude²”.

I am not sure if I could honestly say that my first response would be one of gratitude, especially if it was a child or loved one of mine that was hit and seriously injured. Anger and disbelief feel more likely as an immediate knee-jerk reaction.

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorns have roses.” — Alphonse Karr

As humans, we go through some degree of adversity in our lifetimes. This is one of the common threads that connect humanity. How can we learn to see the positive side during hard times? What is the secret to feeling gratitude when something disastrous happens to us or a loved one?

Angeles Arrien states that “Gratitude is a feeling that spontaneously emerges from within. However, it is not simply an emotional response; it is also a choice we make. We can choose to be grateful, or we can choose to be ungrateful — to take our gifts and blessings for granted. As a choice, gratitude is an attitude or disposition.”

We can learn to choose to be grateful. We can train our brains to discover the silver lining of any situation. One way to develop this ability is through gratitude journaling.

We have all heard the advice “…write down 3 things you are grateful for…” To have this lesson more deeply embedded in our subconscious, we need to go a step further. We need to connect the negative situation to positive insights.

Steps to retraining your subconscious to recognize the positivity of a situation:

1. Pick a time to journal, preferably daily but at least 3–4 times a week.
2. Each time you settle down to journal, single out one situation to write about.
3. Write down every detail you can remember about the situation, whether you think it is important or not. The more detail, the better your subconscious can visualize the scene.
4. Immediately below, think of at least 3 positive factors (either during or after the situation occurred) and jot them down. The more you can come up with, the better.
5. After you have determined your exhaustive list of positives, take a moment to re-read everything you have written from the bad to the good. This will start to connect both the negative and positive aspects of the story in your mind.
6. At the very end, write down an affirmation that speaks to you about surviving this situation.
7. Close your eyes and take 10–15 minutes to meditate on what you have discovered about the circumstance you journaled about. Reiterate the affirmation to yourself as you meditate for reinforcement.
8. Repeat this journaling exercise the next day you have scheduled to journal, focusing on a new situation.

Here is a quick example of journal entry:

Negative:

Today my boss yelled at me in front of my co-workers and customers for something that wasn’t even my fault. I was so embarrassed!

Positives:

• Susie came up and hugged me, telling me she knew I wasn’t the one that did something wrong. Her friendship and support are important to me.
• A couple of the customers commented about how my manager was wrong for yelling at me in front of them, they considered it disrespectful. Strangers having my back touched my heart.
• When the employee who originally made the mistake heard what happened, he apologized to me and said he would explain the situation to our boss. His integrity bolstered my mood.
• During my lunch break, while listening to the radio, I heard the DJ discussing the unemployment rate due to the pandemic. I am still employed and able to provide for my family.

Affirmation:

~ My job is a blessing and I am grateful ~

Stephen King’s reaction of ‘gratitude’ to his near-death accident demonstrates that he understood the positive aspects to his situation — he survived his dreadful accident and was still alive. Learning to have the ability to see the bright side of a circumstance is not only a blessing but will enable you to handle future tragedies with more strength and understanding.

“Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift.”― Roy T. Bennett

Footnotes:

1. Stephen King’s accident

2. Gratitude Journaling