Summary

The article discusses the essence of true love as being present, supporting one's partner through challenges, and prioritizing their well-being, even at the expense of the relationship.

Abstract

The author of the article emphasizes that genuine love transcends momentary feelings and conflicts. It involves being there for one's partner unconditionally, understanding the importance of self-care, and making sacrifices for the greater good of both individuals. The bigger picture of love includes taking care of one's mental, emotional, and physical health to be fully present for the partner. It also means sharing and compromising in ways that benefit both, even when it involves doing things that are uncomfortable or unenjoyable. The article suggests that love is not just about the positive gestures like compliments or gifts, but also about having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, and standing together through life's challenges. The author draws a parallel to a scene from the TV show "Scrubs" to illustrate that true love involves being the support someone needs, even if it means they might not be grateful or the relationship could suffer.

Opinions

True love involves being there for someone regardless of personal discomfort or stress.
Prioritizing the partner's well-being is more important than the relationship itself.
Self-care is crucial in a relationship to maintain the energy needed to support each other.
Love sometimes requires setting boundaries and letting the partner deal with minor frustrations independently.
Sharing with a partner should be mutually beneficial, even if it means pushing each other to do things that are good for them.
The media often portrays true friendship or 'bromance' as a model for this kind of selfless love.
Sacrifice and the willingness to endure difficult times together are key components of love.
Love means being willing to say and hear uncomfortable truths for the betterment of the partner.
Acts of unconditional love may go unnoticed but create profound appreciation when recognized.
Parental love exemplifies the concept of putting a loved one's needs above the relationship's harmony.
The best way to love someone is to be there for them without expecting any reward.

The Best Way To Show Someone You Love Them

It happens every now and again that my partner and I fight.

Usually they aren’t big fights, but they are also often unnecessary.

We get into rather stupid arguments that escalate because no one wants to back off of their point, because we are both pretty stubborn.

However, should anything happen during our fight or thereafter, should she get upset over something or stressed out, she knows that I will be there no matter what.

I will always be there, even if I am angry, frustrated, annoyed or burned out, because I know the bigger picture.

I spend a lot of time taking care of myself throughout the day.

I take care of my mental state, my emotional well-being and my physical fitness so that I can have the most energy for me and for her.

Sometimes this means I have to let her deal with lesser frustrations herself or have to set a boundary when I am busy and she is not.

The bigger picture is our well-being, together, and that sometimes means that I have to take care of me first and sometimes I have to take care of her.

In this case the bigger picture pushes me to push her away when I need to take care of me.

My partner and I also eat out a lot.

Most of the time I let her have the last bite of whatever good thing we order, while she lets me have the things high in protein.

We take care to share with each other in such a way that we both benefit the most.

Although that sometimes also means that we force-feed each other what is good, even if it is something we do not enjoy doing or eating.

Showing someone you love them means doing the best for them regardless of what it means for you or your relationship with them.

This is an idea presented in most media as the “Best Friend” or “Bromance”.

In relationships like that the friend will yell, throw a tantrum and even punch their best friend in order to get them to see the truth.

They stick with their friend, no matter what, and go through thick and thin with their actions for the best possible outcome.

Their bigger picture is their friend being the best they can be, and they will do whatever they can to see that through.

That, to me, is the best way to love someone.

It is not the feel-good messages, the compliments, gifts or dates.

It’s telling them the things they do not want to hear but need to hear that makes up love.

It is dragging them along to the things that are good for them and staying with them even if it is uncomfortable or stressful.

Of course you should still take care of yourself and have boundaries, even in those regards, that you set and accept from them, but true love will at least give it a fighting chance.

To give it a fighting chance you have to be willing to sacrifice everything.

Your relationship with them cannot be more important than they are, else you will run away when things get too heated.

You have to be willing to stand in the fire, to burn next to them, and to whether that fire until you come out on the other side, together.

That is the hard part, but that is why it means the most.

There is a scene from the TV show Scrubs that puts this into a great perspective.

Dr. Kelso: “Listen, if he wanted to find a place to hide your patient, he could. He’s just stressed, and out of his elements, and hell, he’s scared. And even if he hasn’t realized it, this job is changing him already. Because it comes with a whole host of overwhelming responsibilities, including keeping this hospital afloat.”

J.D.: “I’d help him if he’d let me, but you know he won’t.”

Dr. Kelso: “When I was Chief, and Dr. Cox came to me and complained about something, I would automatically say no. And if he never complained again, I’d know it wasn’t that important. But if he came back and fought for it, over and over, I knew it was something that I have to take a look at. Now, he’s me, and he’s got this damn voice in his head telling him to say no all the time, and he desperately needs someone on the other side to tell him what he should do, whether he wants to hear it or not. And now, that person is you. Here we are.”

J.D.: “Will he at least be grateful?”

Dr. Kelso: “No. He’s gonna hate you for it. Go!”

When J.D. then goes to Dr. Cox, that is a true sign of love.

It may not be romantic love, but it is a deeper rooted love for the person that goes beyond their relationship.

J.D. is willing to sacrifice everything he built because it is what Dr. Cox needs, even though he would never accept it or be grateful for it.

Being willing to be there for someone and keeping the bigger picture in mind, that is what shows true love.

When you value their well-being more than you value your relationship with them, it’s a sign that you truly care.

This often happens in parents that don’t do what their kids want, endangering the relationship they have with them for the sake of doing what is best for the kid.

These acts of unconditional love will often go unnoticed, but, when they are noticed, the appreciation and love that is created is greater than anything else.

The best way to love somebody is to be there for them and to love them regardless of what they say.

It’s helping them when they need it without any desire for a reward.