The best way to manage your emotions

Read the story of physicist Richard Feynman.

Once in the studio, Feynman was ready to extract an important set of data.

Unexpectedly, due to the carelessness of the assistant, the most important information was lost, resulting in all the hard work during this time.

Everyone thought Feynman was going to be furious, and the assistant who was in trouble was even more nervous.

Unexpectedly, Feynman didn’t say a word, but turned around and walked into a dark room next to him.

After a while, when he came out again, he simply commanded: do it again.

Then I started to put in the intense work.

Later, a friend asked, aren’t you angry if your hard work falls short?

Feynman explained that of course he was angry, but as long as he went to the small room to spend time alone, his mood slowly calmed down.

In this way, Feynman can always deal with emotions every time he encounters a problem.

This allowed him to devote himself to his research, and in 1965 he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics.

Harvard professor Jenners said that if a person is dominated by emotions and has no autonomy in his behavior, he will only become a slave to fate.

Life is already troublesome, and letting bad emotions run rampant will only cost you everything.

When emotions are about to explode, you might as well find a space for yourself like Feynman, soothe your heart and purify your negative energy.

By subduing those out-of-control emotions, you can take the initiative and take your life into your own hands.

The best self-discipline for adults is to learn to lock their emotions in a “dark room”.

01

Sociologist Lewis Cosse once proposed a “emotional safety valve” theory.

He said that a lot of pain in life is caused by emotions overwhelming reason.

Set up a buffer zone for yourself, so that when you are angry and angry, you can close the emotional valve in time and restore your calm.

Stabilize your emotions, and only when you encounter problems can you see the tricks and be at ease.

When the writer Li Xiaoyi was young, he had such an experience.

One night, when she came home from shopping, she found that the door lock could not be opened, and she was so anxious that she began to cry.

I was tired and sleepy after a day’s journey, but I came back and encountered this kind of bad thing.

She felt irritable and aggrieved, so she immediately picked up the phone and called her boyfriend who was in a different place.

Unexpectedly, my boyfriend was working overtime and his speech was a little perfunctory.

She was already holding back the fire in her belly, but her emotions exploded all of a sudden, and she quarreled with her boyfriend directly on the phone.

After hanging up the phone angrily, it was already the middle of the night, and she had to open a room in the nearest hotel.

In the empty room of the hotel, her emotions gradually calmed down and her sanity began to return.

She first called her boyfriend to apologize, and then began to analyze the problem:

Call the housekeeping aunt to come over and try it with a spare key? But it’s too late now.

Directly find someone to pick the lock? It’s hard and it’s not worth breaking the door.

After weighing it, she made an appointment online for the next day’s lock-picking service, and then went straight to sleep.

The next morning, the locksmith came, and the lock was repaired in a short time.

Zweig wrote:

Silence is a powerful atmosphere, like a bottle full of liquid, and after shaking, sediment will appear once it is resting.

The same is true of people, who can highlight true sobriety by calming their thoughts after turmoil.

Acting blindly and impulsively will only make small problems more problematic.

And when you stay calm and make the right choice, no matter how tricky things are, there is room for maneuver.

Putting emotions in a “dark room” is to give yourself a chance to calm down.

The so-called slow things are round, know how to buffer emotions, and deal with things coldly, so that you can calmly deal with all kinds of accidents in life.

02

Bloggers talk about their experiences.

Ross is a web designer, and once he was given a big project.

As a result, the design draft has been changed more than a dozen versions, but the other party is still not satisfied, and every time it is a thorn here and a thorn there.

During a live discussion, Ross was immediately furious.

He was just about to stand up and get angry, but a colleague on the side quickly grabbed him and dragged him out of the conference room.

Dissatisfied, Rose went to the bathroom to wash his face.

After staying there for a while, his original anger slowly dissipated.

It occurred to him that if he messed up the project, it would bring a lot of losses to the company and himself.

So he took a few deep breaths and returned to the conference room with a smile on his face.

He is no longer angry about the difficulties of customers, but listens carefully and gives professional advice, and finally successfully passes the plan.

Orison Madden writes in The Capital of a Life:

“At no time should all actions be subject to one’s own emotions, but in turn they should be controlled.”

There are many incidents in life, and finding a quiet space for yourself can bring your emotions back on track in time.

Wald, a Jewish merchant, was a uniformed merchant.

He had a short temper and as a result, he offended a large number of customers, resulting in a poor business.

Later, in order to control his temper, he came up with a solution:

Whenever he encountered a dispute and was emotional, he ran out alone and got into the car alone.

In the closed carriage, he sat silently for more than ten minutes.

Only when his mood was completely calm did he come out and continue to work.

The small space in the car helped him defuse his anger and kept him calm forever.

Within a few years, his business grew bigger and bigger, and he eventually became a wealthy local man.

Writer Ma De said that the best way to deal with emotions is to put them in a cage.

The outburst under impulse is easy for people to fail to see the essence of the matter, resulting in the consequences of hurting others and hurting themselves.

Instead of regretting it, it is better to find a place to lock up your emotions first.

When you calm down, you will find that 90% of the things in your life can be easily resolved.

03

Anthony Robbins, a famous American psychologist, said:

“The secret of success is knowing how to control the forces of pain and pleasure without being countered by them.”

Everyone will encounter all kinds of troubles, and they will always indulge in them, which can only make people’s lives fall into gloom.

Learn to withdraw yourself and take the initiative to adjust, so that you can clear your emotions and calmly parry life.

The American writer DeLillo once told the story of his youth.

In 1958, at the age of 22, after graduating from university, DeLillo joined an advertising agency.

But his dream was to be a writer.

During that time, every day after work, he threw himself at his desk and forgot to sleep and eat to create.

He wrote many novels and poems, but after submitting them, they were repeatedly returned.

Some editors even ridiculed him in rejection letters for not having any literary talent at all.

Under a series of blows, DeLillo began to doubt himself.

The whole person became more and more irritable, often tore up the written manuscript, and lost his temper at his family.

Not only that, but he was so anxious that he couldn’t eat, had insomnia, and soon lost a lot of weight.

Later, my father saw it and said to him, the strong will not be crushed by emotions, I hope you can calm down and not be affected by emotions.

His father’s persuasion brought him to his senses.

After that, whenever he received a rejection letter, he would go back to his room, close the door and stay alone.

When he calmed down, he resumed writing.

After two years of writing, he received a notice from a magazine that a manuscript had been approved.

From this moment on, DeLillo officially embarked on the path of a writer.

In the magazine “See the World”, it says:

Professional ability constitutes a person’s fundamentals, the ability to deal with emotions, but determines the height of his life.

In life, we all experience setbacks and trials.

You can’t get rid of negative emotions, you will only continue to torture yourself and deepen the suffering of life.

In the face of the wind and rain that can hit you at any time in life, you might as well find a “dark room” to store and digest your bad emotions.

Eliminating the influence and consumption of negative energy, life becomes better, which is a natural process.

04

Psychologists have found that:

After an event, the brain immediately produces an emotional response, and it takes about 6 seconds for the cerebral cortex to make cognitive processing.

That is, there is a short break between the generation of the emotion and the outburst.

During this time, you don’t do anything, you can only watch yourself be overwhelmed by emotions; If you can seize the opportunity, deal with and guide it in a timely manner, no matter how big your emotions are, you can eliminate them invisibly.

Putting yourself in a “dark room” is actually putting the gun of emotions in a drawer.

In case of trouble, leave more room for yourself to calm down, and give yourself a little more time to think.

By taking back your emotional autonomy and maintaining inner stability in your calmness, you will be able to get through life’s difficulties.