The Best Way To Defeat Your Anxiety is Coming To Terms With It

It exists, it’s time we face it with zest.

Prompt: What sort of internal alchemy is happening in me?

I have to get this off my chest. It has been an entire year and two mental breakdowns to get me talking. And I feel I am finally ready to confront my truth.

I need a break, like the kind where we played with our friends during recess in school. Oh boy, do I miss those times. Do you remember when we could just relieve ourselves from the ever-impending worry from life?

There was no struggle. We did not know how to struggle. We were children, but in that essence, we were free. Nothing was holding us back from being ourselves.

Where did it all go wrong? I remember that if I look back now. I feel that my life was geared towards a series of hardships. And it all started when I was 12. Maybe even before that, it started in school.

When I was probably in the 4th grade. Our mental illnesses take many forms. Some are inherited, whereas others just form. We do not when they arise until it is too late, or it is hard to decipher whether we have them or not.

But going back to when I was but a child, I remember feeling anxious. Like there was this force pulling my breaths away. I would find it so difficult to breathe, especially when I was doing maths. I loved maths. But when I would solve questions, I would somehow be surrounded with panic.

I have written about this panic and talked with my peers. But what they do not understand how it affects me, my dear. And even though I believe I was a good student. And I performed well in class. Somehow when I attempted exams, I wrote the most complex answers.

I never had an answer to why this happened. I have asked many teachers, and they would say. You write too long. You did not convey. You wrote a lot, but it was not what we wanted. It was correct, but you wrote more than what was required. And this is why we marked it zero.

And here I was confounded by ambiguity. The only thing I could understand but no one would believe me. And this continued until I fell from the roll. One by one, little by little, I fell to the floor.

I came to the ground kneeling as I did not know my wrongs. I failed a lot, my friend. And I never knew what was wrong. But over the years, I have dealt with it. Perhaps I accepted my fate. I knew I was a failure, but I understood the essence of my mistakes.

And thus, I learned a lot. But my peers never knew my tastes. Of how I accepted my life and the anxiety that aimed to break. I have a complicated relationship with my anxiety. I have never been given the reason why it happens.

It just happens. It does not mean that I am afraid or I am not prepared. It just happens out of nowhere. And the only thing I have left is me dealing with as I bear. Even though I have excelled in an academic setting of being intellectually adept at dealing with education.

And I have been praised by my peers for it. I never wanted either of that. But they do not understand how anxiety has affected me over the years. How it has caused a lot of losses in many departments in my life.

Every word I write and every emotion I show. It is one blow to my anxiety in exchange for my hope. It is this light that pushes me to embrace joy. It is this zest that empowers me with the tenacity to keep making those actions.

I have learned to face my anxiety in fights where I was alone. I knew of the risks and still took them because I believed. I knew I could conquer given I persist in my dues. And time will come when I will feel anew.

I believe you can too. Even anxiety has its time to go. And when that happens, it too shall pass. Yet, I find it difficult to talk about it. But you have to take a chance. You have to stand up for yourself even if no one understands.

You have to keep taking risks with gusto. You have to take the stand. You are courageous, my dear, to bear it in full swing. You should know that. It is always within you. It waits for you to make a move.

It wants you to come to terms with your anxiety.

And these terms will be met once you accept its due course. When anxiety all but swept you from your shoes. And therein between the chasm of your worries, will you find a chance to become the real you.

It will come. You need to trust your process. Even if anxiety aims to influence you. I understand your worries. Trust me, I have been there too. And no matter how much you fall, remember this little tool.

Look towards the sky with hope, and reach for your soul. In our anxiety, we find it difficult to focus on what matters. But once you start to breathe, and you will realize it too.

You will find clarity as you start to entwine yourself. When your conscious mind rests, will you wake up to realize it true!

You would have broken free and won over anxiety once more. Remember, it is a battle of wits. There will be times where you will lose. There will come moments of sheer despair, but remember the time you bore.

You will wait and persevere because you know in your heart what is true. You are strong, my dear friend. You can make it if you believe you can pull through. Your anxiety is but one field of many that will test your mettle in life.

It’s just another battle. It does not matter whether you win or lose. What matters is that you accept the terms of how it works. And when you do, take it up to the letter.

You will embrace the rush it brings with zest. And maybe you might enjoy what it brings.

An opportunity to celebrate another confrontation! Godspeed!

Peace and stay safe!