The Best Short Phrases To Say to Your Wife — And Ones To Avoid

Oh, those three little words

“Women on average will speak 7,000 words a day, men, 2,000. That explains a lot. So many times I come home and Erin swears I’m in a bad mood, or I’m mad at her. Now I realize I’m just out of words. I’ve already done my 2,000. She’s got 5,000 left!” — Comedian Rob Becker

My wife and I are coming up on 37 years of marriage. Honestly, it has felt pretty easy, but one time I asked her why she thought we had done so well. She replied, “It’s because we’ve been able to say those three little words to each other.”

“Oh, you mean, ‘I love you’?”

“No, the words, ‘I was wrong.’”

“Right. I was going to say that next.”

With Valentine’s Day coming up, and Rob Becker’s theory in mind, I will draw on my matrimonial and wordsmithing experience to help guys out with a list of three-word sentences that will help your marriages without going into word debt. For good measure, I’ve also added a list of three-word phrases you should avoid at all costs.

Three-word phrases to use as often as possible:

1. I love you.
2. I was wrong.
3. Please forgive me.
4. You look great!
5. Let me help.
6. I’ll clean up.
7. That was delicious!
8. That was incredible!
9. You deserve it.
10. Don’t get up.
11. Let’s eat out.

With number 11, my wife also has code words of her own to let me know when we’re eating out: “I’m going to put on some makeup.”

I’ve found it is also useful if I start as many sentences as possible with the three words, “I really appreciate…”

One thing about words, however, is that they can knock someone down just as easily as they can build someone up (sometimes even more easily).

Three-word phrases you shouldn’t say:

1. You did what?
2. Not my job.
3. I told you.
4. What, meatloaf again?
5. I give up.
6. What’s wrong now?
7. You ready yet?
8. You blew it.
9. You’re wearing that?
10. Don’t wait up.
11. Where’s the remote?

I also recommend you try to eliminate any sentences from your life that begin with the three words: “If only you’d…” or “My mother always…”

Warning: I once shared these lists with a group in Spain that was mostly female. When I said the “my mother always” line, the room erupted in claps and hisses. If you are in Spain, I strongly advise you to avoid this phrase when speaking to your wife.

Your mileage may vary, but working from the first list, while avoiding the second, should have a positive effect on your marriage without blowing your word count. The more we can work the first list into our regular conversation, the more likely it is for us to hear our wives say three-word sentences such as, “What a guy!” and “Come here, you!” and the less likely we are to hear, “Hit the road!”