Summary

The article discusses the prevalence of sexual harassment in the workplace, emphasizing the importance of speaking up and reporting incidents despite the challenges faced by victims.

Abstract

The piece, titled "The Best Sex You Will Ever Have," is a candid exploration of sexual harassment experienced by the author, Iris B. Stehn, in her professional capacity as an IT consultant. Contrary to the provocative title, the article addresses the serious issue of workplace harassment, particularly by older male colleagues. The author recounts inappropriate and sexually charged comments and actions directed at her and other women, highlighting the systemic nature of the problem. Despite the common occurrence of such behavior and the often inadequate responses from employers, the article underscores the necessity of confronting harassers, reporting their behavior, and raising awareness to effect change and support other victims.

Opinions

The author believes that it is crucial for victims of sexual harassment to speak up and report incidents, despite potential disbelief or downplaying by others.
There is a frustration expressed over the perceived impunity of harassers who are valued for their professional skills, which can lead to mere warnings rather than substantial consequences.
The article conveys that sexual harassment is a global issue affecting many individuals, not just women, and that it often goes unaddressed or is minimized in severity.
The author emphasizes that no one should be made to feel responsible for the harassment they experience, and that perpetrators should not be excused under the guise of humor or misunderstanding.
The piece calls for solidarity and collective action to raise awareness about sexual harassment and to support those who have been victimized.
The author shares personal experiences to illustrate the pervasive nature of sexual harassment and to encourage others to confront and report such behavior.

PERSONAL & RELATIONSHIPS

The Best Sex You Will Ever Have

Just give me a chance to prove

This article is probably not what you expected. I’m of course not offering any sexual services, and I have no how-to or step-by-step guide on how to have the best sex. Sorry, but I’m not sorry.

This is way more important, as it concerns so many people — not only women — around the globe.

Today’s article is about sexual harassment at work.

I work as an IT consultant and usually drive to my customers, mostly big manufacturers in Germany. Significant to mention: The people I work with are mostly friendly and helpful, men as well as women.

But there are a few colleagues, in my case the cliché old, white, males, that stand out negatively.

Speak up

I learned that even if you complain and stand up for your rights and integrity, many of them may continue. Other people will understate it or not believe you, even when others confirm your words.

The harassers and molesters are good at their job and irreplaceable, they believe.

They often stay in their job and just get a warning. This is frustrating! Nevertheless, it is even more important to stand up, be loud, be heard!

Eventually, someone will listen to you and react. The guys will get more than a warning, and hopefully have to leave and face consequences.

There are enough successful cases, and you can help others by reporting them!

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you wanted it, provoked it, or tell you it was “not that bad”!

It is never, NEVER, your fault! Don’t let them get away by masking it as a stupid joke! I did that in the past, years ago. But they will not stop, and I realized:

A no is a no. Without any discussion. If I don’t want it, they need to stop.

My experiences

To make it visible, here are a few sentences I heard over the past almost 15 years in my studies and in my job.

I know I am not alone, and I will speak up and confront them, even try to solve the problem (some really didn’t realize that it is harassment and not funny, they even understand in some rare cases) or report them.

Here’s a random collection of the sexist and molesting things I heard:

I will give you the best sex you will ever have, just give me one chance to prove it.
You look so fuckable.
I’d do you right here on the table in the meeting room.
Your husband is lucky, he can fuck you whenever he wants.
I would like to lick you. You would enjoy it. Don’t care that you are married, I’m too. (By the way: Most of them are married and have children. I feel sorry for their families)
You look like you are a real bitch in bed. I like that.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck? (Yeah, I still don’t get this one.)
Hey sweetie, want some fun? I will fuck you really well.
You always look so bitchy and unapproachable, smile a bit. You would be even hotter.
I’d hit you, want a threesome?
My colleague and I want to fuck you in a threesome, you’ll enjoy it.
Why don’t you show me if you are talented in bed, too? I think you will scream really loud when I do you.
Interested? (Got a dick pic.)
Why don’t you reply? I have something yummy for you (Second dick pic from the same guy.)
Why are you so cold and rejecting? (He touched the inside of my legs and I pushed his hand away.)
Don’t be such a bitch (I told a guy at my customer to take his hand off my ass in the hallway. I didn’t even know him.)
Come on, I know you enjoyed it. (I pushed a colleague away, he grabbed my ass for the second time. The first time, I just told him to stop and walked away.)
Do you swallow? I bet you do.
Come on, sweetie, my hotel is around the corner. (Touched my arm and then the inside of my leg, too.)

Photo by Salman Hossain Saif on Unsplash

Mostly, these things were totally random, in the middle of a business talk, most of the time when it was a one-on-one meeting, of course. They take advantage that it is just the two of you and that you are younger.

I sadly could continue with more examples, but I guess it is enough to get an impression.

Here is another article that might help you when you experienced harassment or abuse:

How To Tell Your Partner That You Were Abused

Talking About Your Past Is Important

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