The Best Porn for Demisexuals

It’s as close as you’ll get to an emotional connection

Demisexuals need an emotional connection to someone before feeling sexual attraction to them.

It’s everything else they seem to disagree about.

They differ in terms of desire for sex, their attitudes about sex without attraction, and even what sexual attraction even means.

And one thing that seems to really divide them is porn.

Digging through online discussions, resources, and articles, the opinions are all over the place — ranging from “demisexuals don’t enjoy porn” to “I’m a demisexual and I love it.”

That makes sense, because demisexuality (like most things) exists on a spectrum. I happen to fall on the porn-loving side of it.

But I’ve had an uneasy relationship with porn. I love having it be a part of my life, but most of it doesn’t really appeal to me. Some of the most popular stuff downright turns me off.

I’ve had a hard time finding a niche. It’s not like I can just type in keywords like “pussy eating,” “blowjob,” or “amateur” and find what I like. No matter what category I try, most of the videos that come up leave me mostly uninterested.

Once I came to understand that I’m demisexual and what it means, it also helped me figure out why my attitude to porn felt so wonky.

It also helped me figure out exactly what kind of porn I should be looking for.

Watching Porn as a Demisexual

It’s easy to find demisexuals online mentioning their appreciation of porn. It’s harder to find explanations of how they square a lack of sexual attraction to strangers with an enjoyment of watching them fucking.

I can’t speak for other demisexuals, but porn doesn’t arouse me. I have to already be somewhat aroused to watch it and enjoy it.

Even good porn can almost never take me from a 1 to a 5 on the horniness scale.

What it can do, however, is sustain or enhance my arousal.

My libido is a fickle thing. If I feel horny in the late afternoon, I’m almost guaranteed to lose it by the evening. Watching porn helps me keep that arousal going, at least long enough so I can do something about it.

It also enhances everything. My imagination just can’t compete with the sensory stimulation of porn. Watching the action unfold makes it so much more vivid.

The auditory component is important, too — I will turn off any blowjob video if the guy on the receiving end isn’t at least lightly moaning or groaning.

I also find myself focusing a little bit less on the action that’s happening in the porn I’m watching and more on the sensations the performers are having. I get a kind of empathetic thrill from seeing and hearing people genuinely getting off and having fun.

That’s why I can’t get into porn where the performers are uncomfortable or in pain, even if they’re pretending to enjoy it (I might miss it sometimes, but it’s usually pretty easy to spot someone faking).

And that’s made finding good porn a little complicated at times. There’s no Pornhub category for “genuine enjoyment with lots of sensory components.” (There’s a “Female Orgasm” category but it doesn’t really capture what I’m looking for.)

That made porn really frustrating, until I figured out the type of porn that would be ideal for me as a demisexual.

The Porn That Makes My Little Demisexual Heart Flutter

I love vlogs. There are vloggers that I’ve been following for close to ten years and I still watch their videos almost as soon as they’re uploaded. I love getting to know them and I get invested into their lives.

I’m like that with books and TV shows, too. I get gripped by the characters and I just want to keep following their stories. I don’t even let myself read fiction anymore because I hate that the stories have to come to an end.

I always wished I had the same experience with porn. Sadly, none of the YouTuber couples I follow are filming sex tapes as a side hustle (now there’s a Patreon tier I’d sign up for!)

Then, I discovered Cherry Crush.

She’s cute as hell, but what really drew me to her were the aesthetics of her videos. The fluffy pastel sets, the dreamy overexposed cinematography, and the chill energy each scene has appealed to me immediately.

So much so, that I decided to start paying for porn just because I wanted more of it.

Accessing her paid content made me realize that this was the perfect way to get that kind of investment in someone that I got from vlogs.

Paying for content from a studio, or getting whatever stuff you find on tube sites, gives you a lot of different performers in various scenarios, but it’s very much a production, complete with costumes, improbable setups (I’ve never heard of anyone letting their driving instructor assfuck them), and acting.

Paying to access a performer’s personal site is a completely different experience, one that gives you a better glimpse into their personalities.

When performers create their own personal content, you get a sense of their aesthetic sensibilities and the kinds of scenarios they find fun and arousing. They can let their own quirks shine through. And they choose who they perform with (often, it’s their partners) which means they have more chemistry with them and are usually comfortable enough to just be themselves.

On top of that, there’s the personal updates, blog posts, and social media content that gives you a closer look at the person you’re jerking or jilling off to.

After getting into Cherry Crush’s porn, I found out she also has a decent presence on YouTube, too, including an ASMR channel. So, instead of just having a cute girl to look at, I also get to watch her vlogs and Q&A videos to hear her personal stories, preferences, and attitudes. It’s so fun I can even forgive her for eating her pizza with ketchup.

I know getting invested in a performer isn’t the same as having a genuine emotional connection with them — and that’s not the point. Some of it is also probably a bit staged and performative — that’s likely true of the vloggers I follow, too.

But it’s enough to win this demisexual over.

I’m Not Exclusive

Obviously, mainlining porn and other content from a single performer isn’t going to do it for every demisexual.

The ones who aren’t into porn at all are probably not going to be won over just because a pornstar is vlogging.

And some demisexuals will still just want the more straightforward experience of watching some context-free action on screen as a visual aid to masturbation.

But it’s what works for me because it creates a bit of a connection that helps me feel attraction. Yes, it’s a weak connection. Yes, it’s one-sided. But it’s enough.

I’m not exclusive to Cherry Crush, though. I don’t always need to know a little bit about the performers to get off to them.

Sometimes, I’m drawn to the aesthetics of the scene. Sometimes, the scenario matches up perfectly to a fantasy of mine. And sometimes, I’m just so damn horny I’ll masturbate to just about anything as long as it’s got good production quality and everyone seems to be having a really good time.

But I’ll keep coming back to the content on a performer’s personal site, because it’s the most reliable way for me to get aroused and get off.

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