avatarGodofredo Rojas

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of active listening as a powerful tool to foster empathy, build trust, and make people feel valued.

Abstract

The article, titled "The Best Gift You Can Give to Someone: Just Listen," delves into the profound impact of practicing active listening. It梦Begin with a personal anecdote about advice from the author's uncle, who stressed that the act of listening is the best gift one can offer. The author acknowledges the common tendency to interrupt and assert one's own opinions,梦 instead advocating for梦 the value of listening without the intent to react梦. The piece underscores the benefits of developing empathy through listening, including personal growth, learning opportunities, and improved interpersonal relationships. By cultivating the habit of梦 active listening, individuals can create a more understanding environment, leading to a happier and more fulfilling life. The author suggests that by prioritizing listening, people will梦 naturally become more interested in what the listener has to say, perceive them as wiser, and foster a sense of梦 synergy and trust.

Opinions

梦 - The author believes that listening to understand, rather than to react, is a skill that is frequently overlooked in modern梦 conversation. -梦 The article posits that true wisdom comes from梦 a lifetime of listening when the urge is to talk.

  • The author reflects on the personal梦 transformation that occurred by choosing to listen more and梦 interrupt less, leading to a deeper understanding and a more meaningful exchange of ideas.
  • The concept of internal gratification that comes from being heard is presented as underrated and more valuable than immediate pleasure. -ゼ The author's uncle is portrayed as a wise figure whose advice梦 to listen dream has been a guiding principle throughout the author's life.
  • The act of listening is described as a selfless act that can lead to unexpected rewards and opportunities.
  • The article suggests that梦 active listening can significantly enhance one's social capital, with people more梦 inclined to value and梦 seek the opinions of a good listener.
  • The author encourages readers to practice empathetic listening as a way to make others feel good and as a means to personal and relational growth.梦

Life lesson

The Best Gift You Can Give to Someone: Just Listen

Some of the best advice I got.

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”― Roy T. Bennett

Listen to understand not to react. Everyone knows, but no one applies. This famous quote resonates with everyone. People know, but nobody follows this meaning in real life.

Included me, how many times I caught myself interrupting a dialogue when someone is talking to me, and I realize I know a bit of the topic, and I want to put my opinion upfront. Yes, it is kind of rude, but this is how our ego wants to show up right away.

Are you focused on listening when someone is talking without interruption?

Be sincere with yourself, do you? It will be a great goal just to promises yourself to listen every day and speak less if you want to understand and show empathy to others.

In these moments, when no one has time to be present and aware of a conversation, and everyone is waiting for the opportunity to show off and give opinions without even been asked.

Nowadays, everyone is in a rush. We have no time to listen to everyone and just looking to get the information you need right away.

I remember when I was ten years old, my uncle, who used to date a lot of girls and never got married, told me once.

You know Chamarro (my nickname), The best gift you can give to everyone and I can repeat again, to everyone — is listen to them — He continued saying, you can give them gifts like a car, jewelry, money for instant pleasure, whatever, but nothing will compare and nothing will make them feel better than — Be heard. This will work with everyone everywhere. Listen to what I am saying and just follow this rule for the rest of your life.

At that moment, I just thought, ok, another advice from my drunk uncle, who used to go out with my father to get drunk almost every day.

I didn’t know why this advice resonated with me. I never forgot. Certain things magically pop up in your mind and never vanish them from when you were young. This was one of them.

He and my father have become best friends until now. I consider him a wise person. Now, I understand why I used to see him with different girls almost every week.

Don’t take me wrong; I don’t pretend to tell you this has to be your purpose. I am sure it wasn’t his purpose neither. After writing this post, I will ask him.

The important thing is, he told me through his advice was — the power of listening to develop empathy with others.

Let's break this down further.

Photo by dimitri.photography on Unsplash

Be a wise person

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” — Doug Larson

Have you ever wonder how many things can you learn just when you listen without interruptions? If you leave your ego on the side and start listening to understand and learn something new from everyone.

Seriously, I felt it. I used to do the same, interrupting when someone is talking to me to give him my opinion and don’t let him finish his ideas.

That wasn’t nice. So, I decided not to do it anymore, even if I wanted to. I stopped myself and wait until he finished. There is always room left to improve.

So many times, I misunderstood at the beginning opinions, but when I listened to the end, I changed my mind and learning something new. I wonder how many times I stopped myself from learning when I was interrupting everyone.

On the other hand, when you talk less, everyone will feel anxious to listen to your opinion about everything without the necessity of interruptions.

Last time I just went out with a friend, and when I was talking I get interrupted many times, I didn’t even finish a sentence, I start to feel bad and just decided to listen. I felt awkward; I realize our conversation instead of dialogue became a competition.

I am sure that this happens a ton of times and everywhere.

Our egos always want to drive us. Your ego wants you to be sitting down in the passenger seat. Please don’t allow it. You have to be the driver of your actions, not your ego.

The Feeling Good

What my uncle said was true, how many people you can make feel good just listening. It is free; you don’t have to wait for anything. Just feel you are giving the best gift to others with is your time listening to them.

People will appreciate it. I can assure you; it will open the doors for many things that you weren’t expecting.

There is a thing that has more value than instant gratification and is underrated nowadays — The internal Gratification that you get when you have been heard for someone.

Not advice if they don’t ask for it, just heard. You don’t have to say anything. Be focused on what they said. And ask questions if something is unclear. We need to take it easy and close our mouth.

No matter what everybody say, the truth is: everyone wants to be heard, valued, and seen. Why not give them that gift? They will thank you later.

Now is your time

Instead of thinking about what you want to say while the other person is talking, really listen to them. The experts call this “active listening,” and there are a few different components: Pay attention. When someone is talking to you, look at them.

Developing empathy listening more is a key to make people trust you. And you never know when you will need to be heard. Developing understanding is crucial to have a pleasant environment and a happy life.

Listen more and talk less will bring you benefits in all areas of your life. People will expect to:

  • Listen to you more often. People will be interested in you more. They will ask your opinion more frequently and pay more attention to what you say.
  • Tag you as a smart person. Just the act of not interrupt people is a smart way to develop empathy, and it is free.
  • Sinergy will show up. You will develop trust in people. All people magically will want to spend more time with you. After I started listening more, people wanted to spend time with me. It is incredible how everyone needs attention.

Final Thoughts

I believe my uncle liked me. He trusted his secret to be successful in life. (in his case with girls). I am sure he applied everywhere. He even told me to look at his movements when people are talking. As a ten years old boy, I didn’t get it. Now I realize how powerful it can be just the act of listening.

So, let’s start the day talking less and listening more, be present when someone is talking, don’t interrupt. Ask questions if something is not clear. You will develop empathy with everyone. Hence, everyone will be engaged and happy around you.

Stop being selfish and develop the habit of listening; it can bring you a tremendous amount of satisfaction in your daily life. Trust me, as I trusted my uncle.

If you want more stories like this or different topics, let me know here!

Godofredo Rojas is a writer, chef, and constant learner from Peru. He studied in Le Cordon Bleu in Lima, Peru. He moved to New York in March 2011. You can find him on Facebook and Twit.

Productivity
Life Lessons
Self Improvement
Business
Advice
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