The Best Advice I Ever Received

The Power of Thirteen Letters or Five Little Words

I was five years old when I first met my stepmom.

I don’t remember meeting her but my life hasn’t been the same since she entered it.

At fourteen years old, I moved in with my dad, stepmom, younger brother, and two younger half-sisters. Six people in a two-bedroom apartment. It was tough, to say the least. But it wasn’t as tough as going to my fourth middle school in three years.

After my first week of eighth grade, I hated the school. It wasn’t so much the school was horrible, but I had built up resentment and anger from having to meet new people.

“One day at a time”, my stepmom told me.

Who would’ve ever thought thirteen letters or five little words could soothe frustration and anxiety?

Eighth grade ended up being my best year of school. I met friends that I’m still in contact with fifteen years later. I had my first kiss. And I lost a ton of weight because I made the basketball team, which boosted my confidence.

My freshman year of college was more difficult than the beginning of eighth grade.

I felt alone and isolated because I left my friends from high school. And my fears of putting myself out there and meeting new people reappeared stronger than ever.

On top of that, I messed up a relationship with the first girl I genuinely liked. I’ve never experienced heartbreak before. It dwarfs social anxiety any day. But the combination of the two felt like a jab and right hook from Mike Tyson.

In December, during winter break, I visited my dad and stepmom. I was telling them issues.

“I don’t have any friends. I’m never going to find a girl that like ever again. And I’m failing school,” I confessed.

“One day at a time,” she reminded me.

I slept better that night than I had in weeks.

Instead of complaining and feeling sorry for myself to get sympathy, I attempted to improve my mindset and social skills “one day at a time.”

I went from negative, shy, and introverted to happy, expressive, and extroverted in a matter of months.

That summer I went on more dates than I could keep track of. But more importantly, I bonded and built a relationship with a person who is my best best friend currently. I actually live with him in a house with a massive tv in our living room — a dream we’ve had for many years.

My stepmom has needed her advice more than anyone in the last four years.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017. After successful surgery and chemotherapy, cancer struck again in 2019.

Doctors told her she would have to be on chemotherapy for the rest of her life to manage the spread. She’s been going to chemotherapy every other week.

She’s in a great deal of pain for days to a week after treatment. She’s very tired and disoriented. She can barely keep her eyes open when I visit, and she’s in so much pain she can’t pick up a piece of fruit.

During the summer of 2020, doctors told her the chemo wasn’t working and she had a mass the size of a golf ball near her pelvic region. The doctors gave her at most a year to live.

She’s beginning a new treatment soon in hopes to shrink the tumor. She’s hopeful. She always has been.

She’s been the rock in our family. She’s stayed calm, cool, and collected during my dad’s and youngest sister’s mental health issues. Despite cancer and pain of treatment, she’s helped my brother raise my newborn nephew.

I believe she’s the person she is because she doesn’t fear the future, or dwell on the past. She tackles, conquers, and remains still amidst the storm, “one day at a time.”

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