The Beltane Dinner Party

The invitations went out on a sage smoke signal.

Morning sun turned into afternoon sun as I went down the list, checking off items and crossing out a few with a yellow pencil stub. I’ve added more items to the list than I’ve checked off.

I sat the kitchen table sipping peppermint tea.

I don’t know why I do this every year. It’s so much work. It’s not like the world would come to an end if I didn’t.

I know why. Because these are my friends. I say every year that it’s too much work but it really isn’t. It’s only once a year. We enjoy it. It’s good to see what everybody has been up to since the last circle around the sun.

The invitations have gone out. Only one had to be posted in the mail. The others went out on a sage smoke signal.

The invitation read -Time: April 30, May 1, 11 p.m.–4 a.m. The Golden Time when the veil is thin. Location: West of the Sun.

I haven’t gotten replies back but I never do. They all just show up at the same time every year. There will be 11 guests, 12 for dinner including me. Thankfully, they are not all mortals so that will save me time cooking. And I haven’t eaten in years. It got to be a such bother.

I’ll have to be alert to how I arrange the seating this time. I won’t make that mistake again.

I added to the list:

Clear out the cedar chest. Eric will want to stay over.

Make sure Piggly Wiggly has a stock of Trueblood. That’s for Eric, too.

Pick Stephen up at the airport.

Candles

Dried verbena

I set out 159 candles of various sizes in the dining room and retrieved the dried verbena saved from last year to smudge the area. I lit the candles and the bunch of verbena and walked slowly around the room filling it with smoke. I recited the calling words and waited.

Through the haze the bodies began to materialize, sitting around the dining room table.

Stephen appeared from the guest room, after all the work was done, of course. He made a bee-line for his seat at the table identified by the large whole New York style cheesecake on a hand-painted serving plate with gold charger.

I began greeting our guests. I was so excited to see them.

Puff! Your scales are looking especially green tonight. How are things in Honali?

Puff: Well, I’ll tell you.

A smoke plume escaped from each nostril.

Puff: Jackie’s family is breeding again. The great-grands are coming along. There are so many of them I can hardly get around to everybody. Here, I brought you something.

He placed a wooden box of string, sealing wax and other fancy stuff in my hands.

Tom Dula and Frances Stewart Silver (Frankie, to her friends, if she had any) sat at the table side-by-side like they always do.

Tom: I didn’t do it.

Frankie: Me, neither. But they hung us fer it just the same, didn’t they?

Eric glided over to the chair where Fairy was perched on the back. She politely pulled in her gossamer wings so as not take up too much space.

Fay blood is irresistible to vampires. I’d have to keep these two apart. We almost had a murder last time.

I’d have to keep an eye on Puff, too. I didn’t know if he would actually eat her but I wasn’t taking any chances.

Eric: Stephen King, as I live and br . . . oh, never mind. Write any good books

lately?

Stephen: Oh, god, what IS that smell?

Stephen pinched his nostrils shut.

Eric: It’s Hellboy. Man, can’t you do that outside?

Hellboy walks out of a column of yellow haze in the corner.

Hellboy: What? I can’t help it. It’s all that sulfur escaping from my pores. I had to go home for a few days. You have no idea what kind of mischief Pop gets up to.

Stephen got up and opened a window. Hellboy rolled his one good eye and shook his horn stumps.

I started counting heads. Has anybody seen Wolfie?

Banshee: I saw him run into the woods to change. Eeeeeeewaaaaaa.

Wolfie, slobber sliding down his giant teeth: Sorry I’m late, but somebody scattered a bunch of wolfsbane all over the inside of my car. I thought I would never get it all out. Where’s Fairy?

Fairy makes herself as small a mustard seed.

Edward Teach was there with his long black beard twisted into braids and tied with ribbons on the ends. Lit fuses protruded from under his broad black hat and sent tendrils of smoke upward. He was a tall, slim man but it was hard to tell since only his head appeared, the unfortunate result of a battle in1718.

Edward: Did I scare anybody?

Wolfie: Nah, we’re used to you.

Edward looked disappointed.

Tom and Frankie looked into each other’s eyes.

Tom: I didn’t do it.

Frankie: Me, neither. But they hung us fer it just same, didn’t they?

Stephen: Why don’t you two get a room?

Metatron takes out his legal pad and ballpoint pen. He starts writing down everything everybody says and does.

Met: We’ll have this for the newsletter.

Stephen: Why do we need a newsletter? We’re all here.

Met: It’s my job. It’s what I do. And it’s for a copyright, just in case you try to write a book about us.

King: I wouldn’t do that.

Met: Uh . . . huh.

Banshee, you sit over here by Eric. He doesn’t have any live brains.

Eric: I heard that.

And try to keep that wailing noise to a minimum, please. It sets my teeth on edge.

Stephen picked up a fork ready to lay into that cake when instead of a fork he held a rattle snake which he promptly flung across the room.

Stephen: FAIRY!!!!!!!!

Fairy laughed so hard she fell backward off the back of the chair but managed to spread her wings at the last second in time to save herself from hitting the floor.

Tom: I didn’t do it.

Frankie: Me, neither. But they hung us fer it just same, didn’t they?

Everybody: WE KNOW!!!!!!!

The bickering and storytelling went on into the starry, starry night. Then it came to an end with all the participants promising to keep in touch which they wouldn’t actually do.

One by one as the clock progressed toward 4 and the veil began to close, they went their merry ways.

Eric retired to the cedar chest having slurped up the last bottle of Trueblood.

Tom and Frankie wandered off somewhere together. I’m not privy to where. I didn’t want to start any gossip.

Wolfie headed for the woods and shortly I heard his dark green Camaro convertible rumble down the driveway. The top was down, I’d bet my Great Aunt Fanny’s fanny.

Hellboy took his smelly self back to where he came from.

Puff magicked himself to Honali.

Stephen went to his room and started scribbling ideas on a piece of paper.

Metatron went away and I noticed my favorite silver candlestick was missing.

Edward’s head headed out the door.

Fairy and Banshee dissolved with their heads together cooking up some kind of mischief.

I looked around the empty room, satisfied. I snuffed out the candles and headed to bed. The May Day celebrations would start early down in the village and I didn’t want to lose my place holding a ribbon for the Maypole dance.