Part One
The Beginning of What Would Change My Life Forever
When I was young and innocent and unaware.
At home in Nova Scotia, I’d counted down the days until September 10, 1974, when my boyfriend from Virginia would arrive.
We’d been writing to each other for a year. Since we met the previous summer. Picking raspberries and blackberries along the roadside. Swimming in the ocean, holding hands and kissing whenever we could.
I couldn’t wait to hear him speak my name in his southern accent. Feel his lips on mine. Be in his arms.
Every day after school I escaped to the playhouse my father had built years earlier — to help keep peace in the house, to give me a place to be alone, and to keep the boarder kids from destroying my things. It was one of the greatest gifts I’d ever received.
I started calling it my building because calling it a playhouse sounded too much like something a little kid would have.
At fourteen, I didn’t consider myself a kid. I was a teenager and teenagers did not hang out in playhouses.
On the day of Will’s arrival, I chewed my nails, paced back and forth over the field, looking down the road, toward his grandmother’s house, waiting to spot him coming to meet me.
In his last letter, he said he should arrive by mid-afternoon. The waiting just never seemed to end.
After another half hour, I spotted him in the distance.
We ran to meet each other.
As soon as we were close enough, we were in each other’s arms. We kissed and all my worries went away.
Everything was wonderful, so wonderful, like the sun coming out after days of heavy rain.
The other kids in my family were also excited to see Will again, and everywhere we went, Troy, my cousin who lived with my family stayed close.
We couldn’t get any alone time.
It wasn’t long before I became suspicious as to why Troy kept following us everywhere. I was sure my mother was behind it. It would be like her to treat me like a child. I was beyond embarrassed.
Will and I stretched across the cot in my building while Troy sat beside us on the floor.
“Why don’t you go outside?” Will asked Troy.
“No,” Troy said. “Don’t wanna.”
Will and I kissed, and then he tried again to get Troy to leave. “Hey, buddy, why don’t ya go on out?”
“I can’t,” Troy said, which confirmed what I feared the most — my mother was the reason Troy would not leave us alone.
“Why not?” Will said, innocent, not knowing what my mother was like.
I hoped for my sake that Troy didn’t embarrass me by telling Will the truth.
“Just can’t,” Troy answered.
“Just for a little while?” Will asked.
“I’ll get in trouble.”
“How’ll you get in trouble?” Will asked, and I felt like I’d die.
“Mom will get mad at me.”
“What?” Will sat up. My face was hot with the disclosed truth.
I stayed lying down. Couldn’t believe Troy had said it.
I tried so hard to keep my mother’s strangeness a secret, not wanting others to know how overprotective and controlling she was. It made me feel like I came from a strange family, and if my family was weird, then people would assume I also was weird.
“Say you need the washroom,” Will said, trying his best to get Troy to leave.
“Naw,” Troy answered. “Don’t think so,” he paused. “I better not.”
Since the truth was out, I needed to deal with it, and said, “I can’t believe she’s making you do this.”
Will turned to me and we kissed, and he mumbled, “We’ll just do whatever we want with him here.”
How embarrassing. But I’d do whatever we had to.
Will reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a quarter and held it out to Troy. “I’ll give you this if you don’t look.”
Troy grabbed the money from Will’s hand and turned his back on us.
Will and I laid back down. While we kissed, his hand slid up underneath my shirt.
Troy soon became restless and asked, “How much longer?”
Between kisses, breathless, I said, “ Just a little longer.”
“This is boring!” Troy sighed. He squirmed, making me nervous. I pushed Will’s hand away, not wanting Troy to see.
“Here.” Will reached into his pocket again and handed him another quarter. “Wait a while longer. Okay?”
“Sure!” Troy grabbed the quarter. Getting money was not something Troy was used to.
Will unzipped my jeans. The sound was as loud as an outboard motor in the quiet of the room. He slid his hand inside my panties.
My hand rubbed over the hardness in his pants.
I unbuttoned the top of his jeans and carefully pulled the zipper down. My hand slid inside and wrapped around his hardness.
We filled the room with our heavy breathing and the creaking of the cot’s springs.
Troy leaned back, held up his hand, and asked for another quarter.
Will quickly passed him another one.
We kissed and continued touching each other until Troy interrupted us so frequently that we stopped.
We zipped up our pants, sat up on the cot and tried acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Will and I looked at each other. Smiled. Thought everything would be fine. We believed we could trust Troy to keep his mouth shut and not tell my mother about what we’d been doing.
Thank you for reading.
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