The Beauty of Jealousy Exposes the Ugly of Perfection

Surprise: It doesn’t exist.

Do you remember the first time you tried to bake cookies? If your experience was anything like mine, your cookies probably ended up in different shapes and sizes. One was round and decorated with chocolate chips, while the other cookie was a half-hearted circle that looked like I drew it with my left hand (I’m a righty).

These cookies wound up looking different from one another — some slightly and some DRASTICALLY. Regardless of their shape, the cookies still ended up tasting amazing.

So is there such a thing as a perfect cookie? I don’t think so because if it tastes good, it tastes good.

With humans though, it’s a much more complicated topic. Cookies don’t feel jealous about another cookie. However, humans can feel jealous of another human.

Jealousy (n): A feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want.

Jealously is a part of human nature, and reveals the truth about perfection — that it doesn’t exist.

Our unique combination of genes, characteristics, habits, culture, and way of life are what turn humans into individuals. Part of this unique combination of traits includes our own set of self-perceived strengths and weaknesses.

No matter how confident or unconfident we may be with ourselves, it seems as if our weaknesses always screams for our attention, tempting us into the pitfall of jealousy — a pessimistic frame of mind where we focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do have.

This isn’t to say that jealously is necessarily a bad thing. In all honesty, I think jealousy can serve as a catalyst to fire us up to work on our weak points — weaknesses we probably wouldn’t realize without the help of envy.

In other words, let envy expose your weaknesses, but don’t let it become your weakness. Jealousy is a feeling that we should utilize as a tool for self-improvement, rather than a weapon of self-destruction.

As an example, I’m a pretty reserved and independent type of guy. I guess I would be considered a “lone wolf,“ or introvert by nature.

Being self-kept, one of the weaknesses I meditate on is my conversation skills. More specifically, my awkwardness when making small talk. I don’t like small talk. I don’t want to talk about the weather. If I’m in an elevator with others, I’m crossing my fingers that it’s a silent ride to the main floor.

I would’ve thought this behavior of silence was normal…until I came across the “social butterflies” — the people who seem to have effortless and enticing conversations that make you feel like you’re an old buddy of theirs.

Their knack for speaking with anybody about anything made me and continues to make me feel a bit envious of them.

“If only I was blessed with the ability to spark up a conversation, as if it were a god-given talent,” I would think to myself.

However, I learned that this feeling of jealousy is a two-way road.

There are characteristics of extroverts that fellow introverts wish to have. I wish I had the innate ability to spark up a conversation without a second thought.

Likewise, there are characteristics of introverts that extroverts wish to have. The ability to have a grand old time alone, especially during this age of quarantining, is something I’m sure a lot of extroverts would love to have.

This goes to show the beauty of jealousy — it reveals the imperfections within human nature to show that perfection doesn’t exist.

Whenever you’re feeling jealous about another person, just remember that the person you’re jealous of is probably jealous of another person too. It’s a never-ending domino effect of envy — as each person is always aiming to step up their game in some aspect of life.

What I would initially perceive as weaknesses of my identity, I now perceive as potential strengths that jealously helped me discover.

With every self-perceived weakness that you possess, are a plethora of unrecognized strengths that the next person wished they had.

Similar to how there is no perfect basketball player in the NBA (Unless you’re Michael Jordan), no perfect college professor, no perfect college student, no perfect president, and no perfect parent — there is no perfect human.

Jealousy is a part of human nature. Jealousy is a byproduct of our imperfections. Jealousy is a reminder that perfection doesn’t exist.

Dr. Mehmet Yildiz’s writing prompt on “Jealousy” is what inspired today’s words. Thanks for the inspiration!