The Beautiful Gift That Keeps on Giving Back

And provides me a recluse from the exhausting world

Today I am celebrating my home’s seventh birthday. Well, to be more specific, it’s been exactly seven years since we bought this house and moved in.

We had been living in rental accommodations for a very long time. Since the time I moved to the USA from India in 2006, I have been a renter.

While there’s nothing wrong in being a renter, especially if that’s what you prefer (I am not judging you, trust me), it’s just that I was tired of living in other people’s houses and other people telling me how to live — and I mean that literally.

A renter's life

When I lived in Germany, my landlady, who was French by birth but grew up in Germany, would micromanage me to such an extent that I wanted to run away from that place.

She lived nearby and would watch every morning if I was opening the windows or drawing up the blinds. We would get surprise (and quite unwelcome) visits from her all the time, whenever she felt like it. And there was nothing we could do that would please her. She would come and rearrange the furniture in our apartment whenever we were on vacation without our consent.

Some of the appliances were older than me and covered with the grime and grease of many years of use (and abuse). They would often stop working, and asking her to replace them resulted in endless arguments. So we ended up paying out of our pockets for some appliances, even if we couldn’t take them along with us when we moved.

When we lived in the Netherlands, our Dutch landlord wasn’t really a mean person, but he was against spending any money to renovate the house; and that house did need renovation. It was built in the 1930s and hadn’t seen any love in the last 75 years.

The heating bills during the winter months were exorbitant but the house would be still cold. We would request him to fix the radiators, and he would come by, bring a screwdriver or so, and tweak all day long but nothing good would come out of it.

And then there was always the no holes in the walls policy. So I could never hang my daughter’s or our family photos that I cherished so much.

In short, the remote control of my life belonged to other people.

We were tired of living a life like that. So we set out to buy a house for our family. It would be a gift, the sweet fruit of our labor.

And I must say that has been the best decision so far in our lives.

The heart longs for something…

When we were looking for a home, my first priority was to find a house with ample sunshine because I can’t survive in a dark gloomy place, however big or beautiful that place might be.

My husband wanted a small garden. All the rental places we have been living in so far came with not many outdoor living options. This is the first house that we bought which also has a small garden.

You might be amazed that we placed a bid without even being in the house. We saw pictures of the house and I loved all the sunshine this house gets.

The backyard, where the living room is, faces the south-east, and the kitchen and the front yard face the north-west. This means I have no shortage of sunshine, whenever the sun does shine. But even on not-so-bright days, I love the amount of natural light we get.

I am even known to follow the sunshine in my house and take pictures. You may think of me as crazy, but sunlight does elevate my mood to a great extent.

Simple pleasures of life

The garden is pretty small and was not in good shape, but my husband put in a lot of sweat and time to make it ours — a peaceful haven where we can relax at the end of the day. Last year, we installed a small fountain and this year we changed the full concrete terrace to grass. We lit up some string lights and voila — our abode is ready.

It’s not perfect but it’s a work in progress.

At the end of a busy day, I long to come back home to relax in our small garden or if the weather is bad, to sit on the comfortable couch that we bought from a Danish company, and unwind.

The Japanese maple tree, the falling pine cones from the conifers, my thriving olive tree (not in the picture), or the cool breeze soothe me when I am feeling anxious or depressed.

As an introverted person, socializing is not really my cup of tea and drains all my energy. But I do have a full-time job. When the busy world overwhelms me, I long to go back home to my safe haven.

My daughter, who was born in the USA, never really got the feeling of home we had while growing up. When I think of my childhood, there were loads of challenges, but one thing that really rooted me deeply was our home.

As a brown child in a white-dominated world, my daughter has already faced the bitter taste of racism. Constantly changing countries and homes also added to her feelings of insecurity and insufficiency.

This home is the one place that provides us with a safe haven when the world becomes overwhelming.

Life is a work in progress

Our life happens at our small but elegant second-hand wooden dining table where we discuss how our day was and seek comfort in each other over a simple home-cooked meal (or takeaways too).

I spend hours sitting at my desk or on my couch and typing away on my laptop writing about my life’s experiences.

When we go on a vacation, we look forward to coming back home.

During the Covid period, when we were all locked inside, I felt grateful that despite all the challenges, we had such a great and comfortable home to live in.

This home has provided us with shelter, fed us, helped us accomplish our regular tasks, and provided us with a safe recluse to practice our hobbies or whatever brings us joy.

When my father passed away right when the Covid started, I flew to India. Those were the worst few days in my life and I longed to come back home to something achingly familiar, to my routines, to my books and plants, to my sunny living room. The house gave me this sense of comfort that I so longed for, a quiet place to grieve and to reflect.

More importantly, it has provided us with this feeling that in this impermanent world where everything is constantly changing, there is one thing that is grounding, one thing that I can rely on and come back to, no matter how fleeting the world is.

Thank you for reading my story.

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