AUTISM

Who Debates a Brain Disorder and Whether or Not Autism is Real?

May you never walk in my shoes.

There are definitely two very different camps when talking about autism.

It is real.

It is not.

There are people who have been exposed to someone who is on the spectrum.

There are people who have not.

There would be different understandings of autism overall as a result, right?

But, how it holds such a dramatic swing as, “It is real. It is not,” confounds me.

Then, of course, some people may not have a direct connection to the world of autism but have taken the time to educate themselves about it. They are at least more aware of the individualized manifestations of the challenges and the different ‘categories’ involved in the arc.

Therefore, I group them in with the exposed people simply because of their schooling on the subject.

All of this makes sense to me.

But, there are actually people that are so extreme in their lack of understanding that I had to dub them ‘the deniers.’ The group of deniers deeply saddens me.

None of them make sense to me.

News Flash: Autism is real.

Just because someone has not lived with a person challenged with autism disorders to any degree, or maybe they decided they were embarrassed by someone in their life who was diagnosed with autism, doesn’t void its existence.

Looking the other way doesn’t void its existence.

I end up strapped with a heavy heart resulting from any autism debate. It shouldn’t be a debate and it certainly may not even start as one. It is usually a mere conversation. And, out of the blue, invariably the same question is asked.

“Do you really believe it exists?”

What?

Because the question is not usually presented with malice, I always carefully think about where they are going with this query. I calculate how to artfully and respectfully answer.

Until one person elaborated further.

“I don’t know much about it, but…”

I would have been fine with that admission, especially if they were open to new information.

However, it was what followed that knocked me for a loop.

For someone who acknowledged not having exposure to something as widespread and potentially life-altering as autism, they made huge leaps into the absurd.

They stated their case about why autism doesn’t truly exist; it is a Big Pharm concoction along with insurance companies. A conspiracy of sorts or, at the very least, collusion to bilk the public.

After all, he said, “We never heard of the spectrum when we were kids. Why do people think it's real now?”

Really?

Therefore, in his otherwise very well-educated mind, it doesn’t truly exist because it wasn’t a defined disorder sooner.

As I attempted to counter offer some warranted information, just factually oriented as a layman, I was shut down with an odd insistence that I shouldn’t take it personally.

Yes, I was being pooh-poohed ~ diminished as being overly sensitive.

I hadn’t even raised my voice. I wasn’t anxious or dramatic. However, I had a different opinion about the existence of autism based on experience and education.

I wanted to relay information that I gleaned during the upheavals in my home.

I was not being afforded that voice.

I had mistakenly thought that they wanted to learn.

I was methodically explaining that there are no medicines, no magic pills, and no cure for autism. Highly doubtful that Big Pharm should have a huge stake here.

The more I said that I wasn’t taking it personally, because it wasn’t personal, the more he dug his heels in and smugly ‘knew’ that he was so right in all aspects.

It became personal.

The sadness came, not for me or even for being stuck in this ill-fated conversation, but sad that very smart people are walking around this world doing damage with these thoughts.

How will we ever break the stigma?

How we will ever fully assist those on the spectrum?

The selfish side of me wanted to dump out 20 years of tales regarding my sleep deprivation. Sheriff deputies used our front door as if it was revolving.

Every school meeting was filled with tears. The sometimes twice-weekly intensive psychiatric appointments included the doctor once palming me a note for the crisis hotline.

She knew what was coming.

I wanted to tell him he was discounting years of me being unable to eliminate the emotional impact on the siblings for something that apparently ‘didn’t even exist.’

I wanted to dare him to tell my now-adult kids his theory to their faces.

This was not an isolated occurrence, either.

One time I witnessed an incredibly ignorant conversation that had the potential to be beautiful.

My daughter, who had finally grasped the concept of where she fell on the spectrum and why she should and could embrace this information, attempted to bond with someone else over the topic.

She had come a long way and craved the connection with another child who had the same diagnosis. She was excited to think they could identify with their challenges and share ways they can overcome the obstacles presented.

The mom interjected, right at the start, with a denial of the diagnosis.

“He no longer has autism, he was cured.”

This was a disgusting and ignorant reaction and shut my daughter down. She was crestfallen and confused. How does anyone do this to another human?

The lack of compassion for another, a vulnerable child at that, was obviously due to their need to hide their shame or embarrassment.

Selfish and reckless commentary.

Saying that autism doesn’t exist, or has a cure, is mind-boggling.

Anyone exposed to those on the spectrum knows the value of behavior modifications and easing the challenges with the application of such. I dare any naysayers to spend some time with the diagnosed and their extended family members.

Ask the diagnosed and their family if autism is real.

Ask them about the fears, tears, countless attempts to find the perfect combination of coping skills, and endless worry as one method no longer works.

Find out how they feel when someone doubts the extreme swings that accompany different spectrum challenges. Ask them if a loved one has ever caused people in public to stare or shake their heads in judgment.

See if they ever chose isolation versus socialization because of the unknowns.

The only analogy I now have in my arsenal is to use something relatable. If a person is born blind, should they dispute to every seeing person who has sight that it actually exists?

Would that even make sense?

Just because it’s not in your reach, your life, or your understanding, does something get discounted? An extreme example is necessary to combat extreme absurdity.

If you can’t grab the rainbow do you doubt its existence?

How could we not be saddened by the people that are doing a grave injustice to awareness, research, and growth for such a far-reaching subject?

I won’t apologize or try to explain why we didn’t have a name ‘back then’ for challenges that have existed for years, decades, and centuries.

I will not back down either. These people need to be educated, maybe just one at a time, but I will stick my neck out.

They can think I’m taking it personally.

At this point, I am.

And, you should too.

We all should. Speak up and help break the stigma.

News Flash: Autism is real.

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Copyright © 2022 Lisa S. Gerard. All rights reserved.

• Author’s Note ~ Portions of the article have been edited and originally published on another platform.