The Artist’s Way to Curate Your Own Life
Design the life that you want, and one you can love
Plump tears streamed down my cheeks as I hid in the bathroom at my first photography exhibition. I had spent weeks preparing for this day, only to be sitting huddled up in the corner, bewildered by how my body was speaking to me. Why is this happening? I whispered between abbreviated breaths.
I held my face and my chest, making sure I kept my hyperventilation at bay. I sat next to the sink, with a full view of my burning face in the mirror, skin stained red with salt.
In intervals, my friends and family would poke their heads through the door to check in on me. With each entry, they gently asked if I was ready to come out, and each time the latch for the waterworks was pulled and restarted the whole ordeal.
I was twenty years old and was met with a vivid mental juxtaposition. Part of me was wildly ashamed at my fear that day, and the other half felt completely relieved. My body was honest for me when I couldn’t be.
I had put so much pressure on myself for this debut exhibit, that as soon as the first person stepped into the room, my body had a very instantaneous reaction, like a popped water balloon next to a lighter.
The simple fact was that I wasn’t ready to exhibit. I was incredibly shy and had a hard time vocalizing the deeper reasons I had in creating the art. Despite being aware of this, I went through with it.
The world might convince you to believe that there are certain steps you need to follow to succeed. For artists, it is said that after a body of work is created, an exhibition must follow. And for the rest of the world, we get bogged down in the anticipated stages in life that we are all expected to follow. Graduation, marriage, children, a good job, the raise. Society deems it as a natural progression, but they are often things we ourselves can’t necessarily control, and may not even want.
I found it ironic that the wounds that I tried to heal by making art were opening again at the display of them. And if I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be to fully examine your intent and to know who you are putting a show on for.
If you do not curate your life, then someone else will do it for you
When we are complacent about how we want the tapestry of our world to look, then someone else will take the reins for us. By not being our own curators, the world steps in the driver’s seat for us. In the modern world of technology, we focus solely on the curation of our outward lives and how people perceive us. Most of us are intentional when we do this, at least on a surface level.
We show our crowning moments to the outside world, and put our successes and proudest times at the forefront of our social media. We show how strong we are in our most painful times, seeking for other people to validate what we want to believe for ourselves.
But we need to turn our focus to the places that others don't see, areas that we decide to not reveal. The hidden moments that don't make it onto our Instagram stories or in our Facebook statuses are the ones with the most significance. We need to ask one question: Who are we when we are alone?
We are in an age where we need proof for everything, even our own joy. To not share means to neglect a huge part of our social life and to deny our own success. If a tree falls down in the forest and we don’t share it online, did it really happen? Or rather, is happiness real happiness when we don't feel the need to put it on display?
There are so many opinions and questions shrouding this age-old desire. Luckily, we don’t have to live as hermits to find peace in our own individual lives. In the end, we can live in the way we dream, and all we need to know is exactly what it is for us.
Conceptualize the full picture of your show
Imagine you are at a gallery show. You are the only person walking through the halls. The soles of the shoes that echo through the rooms are your own. No distractions, and what a treat it is to be alone.
You have the whole event to yourself, and you can absorb each element without interruption. This is the very opportunity you have with your own life, every single day. Yet, we don’t have the same feelings about it when we apply it. The idea of being by ourselves can be a drag, it is uncomfortable and on occasion can be terrifying.
When you are curating an exhibition, it is a conversation between you and the viewer. When you are curating your own life, it is a conversation between you and yourself. How do you want this show to look? You have the choice to plan every minor detail everything you want to experience going through. It is an exciting endeavor.
I try to do this in my quiet mornings and is something I realize I fall short on time and time again. I’ve come to a place where when I wake up, I no longer want to check Instagram emails. I want my hands to touch the dirt from my garden before I touch my devices.
We all fall short, but in the first step of creating a beautiful show, it must be alive in your mind first. If you can learn to cultivate this perennial power, then it will set the framework for your whole life.
Fill your life up with the things you love
The curator sets everything up specifically to help you understand the art, as well as to fully immerse you in it. Items are hand-selected to enchant and seduce. It is a generous experience; a whole room set up purely so you can delight in it.
I want you to ask yourself how you can set up your daily life so you can find those same small pockets of joy. What do you want to feel from the moment you open your eyes? What can give you life?
As a callow young artist, I wasn’t aware that I could make choices. Each juvenile step I took was based on a guideline I was told to follow and was to the deterioration of my own creativity.
Create our own heavens. Fill up your life to the brim with the things you love, have the glass overflow, and spill over the sides. Just be sure to never be ashamed of the mess.
Close the door to what brings you discomfort
In the terms and conditions of life, hardship is written in every clause. Not every day will be pleasurable, and often we will stumble in periods of grief. For this reason, it is important to eradicate unnecessary areas of uneasiness. Navigating peacefully through life is knowing what you love while barring entry to the things that do not serve you.
The identification of these offenders is the difficult part because we are acclimatized to them. Their presence is invisible until they are gone, and when they are finally removed we realize how tactfully they blended along with the background noise.
It is hard to shed old habits, and even harder to withdraw from the destructive people in our lives. Not everyone at this art show of your life deserves to be a guest. If you have someone complaining about each piece of the wall, only offering asinine commentary and just eating from the buffet, why are they even there?
There is more than what is inside the frame
When we walk around an exhibit, our eyes naturally gravitate towards what is inside the frame, and the piece of art itself. We tend to put all the other elements aside, blind to the components that are crucial in guiding our eyes to the center of the image. From the frame to the walls, to the entry tickets we hold in our hands, each piece is carefully designed to prepare you for a stunning experience.
In our own lives, we tend to become so focused on what we think is the centerpiece, and neglect to observe our surroundings. The statue on display would be on the floor collecting dust if it weren’t for the pedestal to raise it above the ground.
At a glance, we may feel that there is only a singular thing that contributes to our success and happiness, but we must look at the fuller picture. It extends far outside the frame. For us as individuals, we need to ask ourselves what that is. What are you not seeing?
Each stage in life is an opportunity for a new show
When we find ourselves changing, we need to not be despondent about putting those old parts of us aside. We as people are in a constant state of evolution, and to deny that we suppress our own growth. We need to come to peace with all those changes, even if it means reinventing ourselves or giving up part of our identity.
When we come to that place where we want to show the world these new changes, we can think of it as the beginning of a new exhibition. Where all these new elements of ours can have a chance to be celebrated.
For me, before being a photographer entered my mind, I was a graphite artist. I had spent years perfecting a craft, only to come to a place in my life where I had to say farewell. I knew that my dream no longer aligned with picking up a pencil. The hardest part about it was coming to the point where I could say that honestly to myself, and be happy and excited to embark on a new adventure.
The clean up when the curtain comes down
During and at the end of every exhibit, there is cleanup involved. Curated lives are not exempt from rolled-up sleeves. There is work that comes with being ourselves and organizing.
While this responsibility is heavy, we must learn to undertake it. There is a joy in knowing that while our efforts will always need polishing, our hands will be strong enough to be able to.
This part may be the most difficult part of the process, but it also the most valuable. In order to make way for new space for our thought life and for the things we want to do, we need to be able to clean up the natural atrophy that follows each of our steps.
The most pivotal moments on our paths of curation are in the quiet moments, where we are not only gifted the opportunity to walk around our own personal sacred halls but to see them in all of their stages.
While it may be a glamourous or even privileged thought to be able to live our lives in the way we want to, we need to believe that being happy while we are alive is not only possible, it is our birthright.
Curating our lives doesn’t have to do with wanting all the luxuries of the world, but rather it is the process of cleaning a mirror. The more of the dust and dirt of the world we wipe away, the more of ourselves we can see. With that, we can find better clarity with ourselves, and this mysterious place we all have the honor to be a part of.
May we all find comfort there, and from the moment we open our eyes in the morning I hope joy will be there to greet us all.
