The Art of Stillness
Starting was the most difficult
After taking Clifton’s StrengthsFinder test, I found that my top strength is Achiever, which didn’t come as a surprise to me. I have always been driven to work hard and accomplish my goals. This strength has helped me on my journey, allowing me to achieve remarkable things in a relatively short span of time but it also comes with its challenges.
As a mother and entrepreneur, my days are very busy. The moment I wake up and my feet hit the ground, I’m running around trying to jump rope, make breakfast, do loads of laundry, write articles, answer emails, help with homework, and play pretend with my daughter. There is little space left in my days to do one more thing.
I may be busy but I am not oblivious to the havoc all of this busyness is wreaking on my mind. At the end of the day, I struggle to quiet my mind so I can rest. I’ve been more of a ‘human doing’ than a ‘human being’. It wasn’t long before I realized I needed help or my mind would spin out of control.
Every time I asked for guidance, I got the same advice — to learn the art and discipline of stillness. All sacred wisdom also pointed to the significance of this practice.
We need to find God, and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees, flowers, grass — grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. . . . We need silence to be able to touch souls — Mother Teresa.
Stillness involves doing nothing but it appears to be one of the hardest things to do. So how does one begin to practice the discipline of stillness?
Honestly, I don’t even feel qualified to write about stillness because I still struggle with it but maybe that’s the unique perspective I can contribute to the discussion.
There is nothing as certain as silence, stillness, and solitude to introduce you to the secrets of yourself — Guy Finley.
Sitting in stillness is about creating a space of inner peace and quiet, where there are no distractions or outside influences and we can fully focus on the present moment. It’s about doing nothing, quieting your mind and the many thoughts, and simply being human.
Stillness is a fundamental part of our human nature since we are, after all, human beings but as people who strive to achieve a lot and have a busy schedule, there is little time to sit idly and just be.
In our society, which is filled with constant media, always being connected, and excessive communication, practicing stillness has become very challenging. The constant noise invades every quiet moment, leaving us drained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
When I realized that stillness was what I needed the most, it was time to put it into action. But first, I needed to lay out the reasons why it was so important for me to learn the discipline of stillness or I knew I wouldn't be able to stick with the practice. These are the reasons I laid out:
-When I don’t slow down and take time to be still, I find myself constantly reacting to the demands of others, feeling overwhelmed and unable to focus.
-I don’t want to confuse my true identity with the image I present to the world. While they are connected, I strive to live authentically from within.
-Alongside creating space in my schedule, I also desire to cultivate internal space so that I can pay attention to what truly matters in life and feel grateful for it.
These three reasons were motivation enough for me to start and when I was finally ready to start, these are the steps I took:
- Finding a quiet space: I designated a place where I can sit comfortably without being disturbed. This could be a quiet corner of your home, a garden, or any other serene location. I like to go into my bedroom and close the door behind me.
- Setting aside time: I allocate a specific time each day for my practice. When I was starting, it was quite challenging because of my overcharged mind. So I started with a few minutes and gradually increased the duration as I became more comfortable. When I was able to sit in stillness for 10 minutes undisturbed, it was a huge accomplishment.
- Getting comfortable: Finding the perfect position was also a challenge. I sit in a posture that allows me to be relaxed yet alert. I do not lay down lest slumber sneaks up on me like a thief. You can choose to sit on a cushion, a chair, or even on the floor. Find what works best for you.
- Focusing on your breath: I close my eyes or softly gaze downward and bring your attention to my breath. The main point of stillness is to connect with the breath. It is through the breath that the Spirit of God flows. I like to observe the inhalation and exhalation, allowing my breath to guide me into a state of relaxation.
- Letting go of thoughts: For other achievers like myself, this is going to be a challenge. As you sit, thoughts may arise. Instead of getting caught up in them, I gently acknowledge their presence and let them go. I look at my thoughts like clouds. They come and they pass. I try not to judge my thoughts as positive or negative, allowing them to pass by just like the clouds in the sky.
- Being present: I direct my attention to the present moment noticing any sensations in my body, the sounds around me, or the feeling of stillness within. Allow yourself to fully experience the present without judgment or attachment.
- Practicing regularly: Consistency is key. There were times I tried to practice stillness but I couldn’t keep up with it when life got too busy. Now I make sitting in stillness a part of my daily routine. Over time, it became easier to enter this state of calmness and find silence in the stillness.
To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders — Lao Tzu
Stillness creates an environment for introspection, reflection, and a sense of inner peace. It provides an opportunity to tune into one’s inner self, contemplate deeper questions of existence, and experience a connection with something greater than oneself.
It was the stillness that triggered a paradigm shift that led me back to myself, transforming my life in ways I never imagined. It was in the stillness that I was able to connect with the Holy Spirit.
Starting will always be the most difficult but perhaps the most important thing is just to start. We must keep in mind that sitting in stillness is a personal practice, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. It may take time to quiet the mind and let go of distractions, but with patience and regular practice, you can do it and the rewards will be worth it.
It’s easy to dismiss the discipline of stillness as something you don’t have time for, but ironically, the busier you are, the more crucial it becomes. Even if you can only spare five minutes a day, commit to it. And if you miss a day or two, don’t dwell on it — simply start again.
Now that I have learned the art and discipline of being still, I can proudly call myself a human being.
Seek out a tree and let it teach you stillness — Eckhart Tolle.