The Art of Saying ‘No’

‘And lead us not into temptations.’

If there is something you don’t like or feel comfortable with, we say no. But sometimes we get the urge for feeling bad when we say this because we don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Or someone is trying to persuade you so hard. I’m sure you’ve heard these words:

“Come on! It’ll be fine/fun!”

That’s when your inner conflict starts. But your rational mind stands your ground but you still feel bad for rejecting. This often happens in business.

The first thing you need to know is, it’s okay to say ‘no’. In fact, it’ll help you stand your ground. If you don’t stand for what you believe, you are running the risk of people walking all over you. In business, if you don’t say ‘no’, you are risking your company or job.

So here are my three ways for you to do this:

1) The direct ‘No’

This is the simple ‘no’. It’s easy, you don’t think through it because your heart tells you enough is enough. If you are comfortable with this, then do this part. But if you are not, then…

2) The indirect ‘No’

This is the part where the guilt comes when you know your answer already, but you just didn’t have to courage to say ‘no’ yet. It’s fine, most of us have been here.

You could say ‘Okay, give me some time to think about it’ or a simple ‘ok’. That way, you won’t run the risk of hurting someone.

3) The bargain

What did father used to say? Everything before the word “but” is horse sh*t. — Jon Snow to Sansa Stark, Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1.

Here, you are saying ‘yes’ but with a condition, because you still disagree. You want to say ‘no’, but maybe you are still conflicted, so you strike a bargain. As the saying goes, there is no such thing as free lunches. Everything has conditions, you want something? You have to earn it, and this is one of the ways.

Saying ‘no’ is healthy. It’s fine. It helps you get in line with what you want.

If I never learn to say ‘no’, I’ll never be the person I am today.