The Art of Not Being a Dick
Comedic lessons I’ve shared with my son in navigating life
As a parent, your ultimate hope is to see your children grow into improved versions of yourself. You wish for their success, love, and a life filled with joyous experiences. It’s only natural to share the lessons you’ve learned so that they:
A) Avoid the blunders you once made.
B) Benefit from your triumphs and sidestep the school of hard knocks.
C) Offer you plenty of material to brag about to anyone within earshot (it’s a parental prerogative).
Below are some pearls of wisdom — or life lessons, that my husband and I have instilled in our son. Parents of sons everywhere can surely relate to the need for humour in conveying these teachings effectively.
Lesson #1 The Golden Rule of Don’t be a Dick
This rule reigns supreme above all others. Master this, and you’re already ahead of the game.
“Don’t be a dick” is a straightforward analogy for spreading kindness, treating others with the same respect you desire, and embodying empathy.
- Lend a hand if someone’s struggling.
- Walk a mile in another’s shoes before crafting a judgment.
- Opt for conversation over confrontation; it’s more civilized.
- Extend gratitude when someone holds the door or lets you merge in traffic.
- Oh, and avoid giving your mother lip; respect your elders is code.
Lesson #2: Don’t Waste Your Diamonds on a Hoe
Let me explain!
Back in the day, our son was Minecraft-crazy. A feature in the game is where diamonds could enchant weapons. However, expending diamonds on a hoe was utterly pointless as it didn’t enhance anything.
Little did he know, his innocent remark carried a different connotation. Now, as a teenager, the rule sticks, albeit with a twist: Thorough research is vital before any investment.
Lesson #3: When in Doubt, Dodge the Butt Question — Navigating Delicate Territory
It’s not about encouraging falsehoods; it’s about practising tactful honesty.
If your butt seems a tad generous in an outfit, honesty remains crucial. Yet, there’s a way to express opinions without causing offence. No one wins by berating their boss’s ideas, critiquing a baby’s appearance, or making their spouse feel self-conscious.
Our son has learned the finesse of diplomacy and to maintain others’ self-worth and friendships. It’s the art of candor, sans the Dick factor (see rule #1).
Lesson #4: No Couch-Peeing Allowed — Embrace Life Fully
Parenting a boy who’d skip hygiene for digital indulgences required a lesson in life balance.
We’ve taught our son that while basking in our passions 24/7 sounds enchanting (his realm being all things online), it’s essential to embrace life’s diverse offerings.
Striking equilibrium between friends, family, self-growth, fun, green spaces, and the occasional reboot is paramount — just as important as aiming for the toilet and not the couch when nature calls (yes, there’s a saga involving a couch and an expensive purchase behind that wisdom).
There you have it, a crash course in “The Art of Not Being a Dick” that we’ve lovingly imparted to our son. We’ve armed him with a strategic toolkit for life that’s more essential than any smartphone app.
Here’s to my son, now armed with wit, wisdom, and a strategic anti-dickery plan. May his journey be as entertaining as the lessons we’ve imparted.
About the Author: By day Kristy is a Corporate Executive and Board Director with a passion for CX, UX, and AI. In her other life, she loves to explore her writing passion on midlife trials and tribulations, parental journeys, and sharing her general musings on life.
