The Art of Letting Life Unfold
How to Live in Harmony with Life
The martial artist, philosopher, and actor Bruce Lee began studying Kung Fu in Hong Kong at thirteen. In the book Be Water My Friend, his daughter Shannon Lee explains that his teacher, a man named Yip Man, a skillful teacher who not only drilled physical techniques but also wove in Taoist philosophy and the principles of yin and yang into his lessons. “He often illustrated his teachings through parables on nature,” writes Lee, “such as using the difference between an oak tree and bamboo to make a point.” The oak tree will eventually snap under a strong wind, while the bamboo survives because it can move with the wind.
Strangely, on a recent trip to South Florida to visit family, I saw firsthand the lesson of the oak tree and bamboo. Following Hurricane Ian, there were countless oak trees toppled over. At my father’s house, he actually has oak trees and bamboo. In his front yard was a massive 40-foot oak tree ripped from the ground. A mere 30 feet away, a collection of bamboo trees remained unharmed.
Learning to let life unfold, or to put it another way, to bend instead of resisting, is difficult for all of us.
Even the great Bruce Lee found it to be a difficult lesson to learn. Yip Man would step in repeatedly and tell Bruce to conserve his energy by going with the natural bend of things. “Never assert yourself against nature,” he told him. “Never be in frontal opposition to any problem, but control it by swinging with it.” Finally, he stopped young Bruce and said, “Don’t practice this week. Go home and think about what I’ve said.”
Bruce’s frustration led to repeatedly punching the water in the South China Sea out of frustration.
Lee would later write about the insight in this essay,
Had not this water just now illustrated to me the principle of gung fu? I struck it but it did not suffer hurt. Again, I struck it with all my might — yet it was not wounded! I then tried to grasp a handful of it but this proved impossible. This water, the softest substance in the world, which could be contained in the smallest jar, only seemed weak. In reality, it could penetrate the hardest substances in the world. That was it! I wanted to be like the nature of water.
At its essence, water flows. It finds its way around (or even through) obstacles. Lee called this having “no limitations.” Water is present to its circumstances and surroundings and, therefore, ready to move in any direction that allows its passage. “To be like water,” observed Lee, “is to realize your most whole, natural, and actualized self where you are living as much as possible in the slipstream of life as you forge your own path forward.”
Although we’ve consistently stressed the importance of The Timeless Art of Leading a Life, the opposite is also true. We are wise to live in accordance with nature (as the Stoics advise) and live in the flow of life (as the Taoists suggest).
Being adaptable is a crucial component of the art of living. The classic Chinese text, the Tao Te Ching (often attributed to Lao Tzu), explains,
In harmony with the Tao, the sky is clear and spacious, the earth is solid and full, all creatures flourish together, content with the way they are, endlessly repeating themselves, endlessly renewed.
To live in harmony with life is to have the patience to let life unfold. As Epictetus stressed to his students, “Do not demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well.”
The Rhythms of Nature
Many great minds throughout history utilized metaphors from nature to help them live in the flow of life. The Zen master Shunryu Suzuki-Roshi said, “In Japan, in the spring, we eat cucumbers.” Similarly, the Stoics spoke of similar insights from nature. Epictetus advised that one should not go around looking for figs in winter. He said, “A fig is given to you or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season of the year. But if you wish for these things in winter, you are a fool.”
In his short book, Original Self, the psychotherapist (and former monk) Thomas Moore writes,
In the most ordinary ways, we have lost the guidance of nature to live in accord with the rhythms and cycles of the soul. We eat food that is out of season and even change our clocks back to keep the dark at bay by extending the light of Summer. … Estranged from the music of our own lives, we endure the ordinary days with existential anxiety. We worry about the past and anticipate the future, all the while overlooking the season of the moment.
Life is unpredictable and uncertain. From one perspective, it is the reason for our anxiety; from another, it is a reason for awe, wonder, and joy!
The longtime psychotherapist David Richo (a previous podcast guest) observes in his book The Five Things We Cannot Change that we make plans expecting to be in control of what will happen. “Perhaps we fear natural happenings,” explains Richo, “things turning out contrary to our wishes. We are challenged by life’s ‘mind of its own’ to let go of having things come out our way.”
This is about control.
“We can flow into the natural chaos of life, so untidy, so unpredictable, or we can try to order life fully by making careful plans,” writes Richo.
Final Thoughts
Today’s meditation is not a call to abandon plans, goals, discipline, or structure — quite the contrary. The art of letting life unfold is about being more like the bamboo than the oak tree. The oak tree is all-strength with little flexibility. The bamboo, on the other hand, is both sturdy and flexible.
Finding tranquility in daily life requires structure, flexibility, patience, and the wisdom to let life unfold. Or, as the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu put it, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
When Lee tried to grasp the water, it ran through his fingers. When he tried to punch the water, it moved out of the way of his fist and did not suffer harm. Lee stressed the importance of gentleness and pliability for martial arts and the art of living.
To quote Bruce Lee a final time,
When a man is living, he is soft and pliable; when he is dead, he becomes rigid. Pliability is life; rigidity is death, whether we are speaking of the body, the mind, or the spirit. Be pliable.
Thank you for reading; I hope you found something useful.
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