The Art of Being Alone.
Romanticizing my solo dates, and the time spent alone.
I am a sucker for solo dates. If I were to think about it a year ago, I would have freaked out, thinking that going out alone is such an act of depression.
The past year was challenging, adjusting to living alone, going through a period of loneliness after a prolonged period of dating, and dealing with health issues like IBS. I had a lot to deal with.
When things started to overwhelm me, I used to grab my wallet, diary, and a pen and rush to the nearest coffee shop. I like quiet and serene places where I can just collect my thoughts and find calm. I need to give a huge shout-out to my caffeine addiction. It convinced me to explore some good coffee shops.
I have noticed that solo dates are more of an introvert thing. I am a big-time introvert. I grew up in a nuclear family, just my mum and dad. Growing up, I developed a weak social battery.
I enjoy going out with friends, but my social battery would deplete in an hour. I am also indecisive and picky. Food and ambiance matter a lot to me. Many times, it is a hassle to convince my friends to pour their hearts out in their journals while sipping hot hazelnut cappuccino. This is not their cup of tea.
Hence, I started going out on solo dates and spending time doing activities that don’t require any company. Initially, it was out of compulsion because I was single, and my mental health couldn’t handle lonely Sunday nights in bed anymore, or sometimes due to work. I needed a change of scenery to motivate myself to work.
I also feel that part of it has to do with how I was raised as a child. My parents could entertain me all day until I could walk by myself and go to school. I grew up, and so did our schedules. After school, I had to entertain myself because my parents were off to work. I am grateful for that experience as it taught me how to enjoy my own company.
The idea of codependency haunts me. I can’t be around people for an extended period of time. If anything, I lean towards the more introverted side.
My best friends are on the other end of the spectrum. Sure, they have their moments when they want to spend some time alone, but for the most part, they are socially active. I, on the other hand, struggle to make calls or plan dates. I am working on it, though. I have realized that I have missed out on a lot of potential dates and prolonged friendships just because I don’t like making phone calls.
I spend the majority of my time alone, yet there are relatively few instances when I feel really alone. If you were to ask about my ideal day, it would involve writing, doodling, or watching “Gossip Girl” while indulging in some junk food. None of these activities practically require company.
Another thing I like to do alone is cleaning. Trust me, nothing soothes me more than a day spent cleaning out my closet. It’s like a self-help and betterment thing.
Cooking, now that I recall, is also something I cherish doing alone. Cooking with a bunch of people sounds like a nightmare, especially when I have OCD and get frustrated with a lot of opinions and suggestions.
Having said all of this, I would like to point out the fact that we are all growing up and evolving. I wouldn’t prefer sticking to the notion that I like being alone all the time.
I enjoy my time alone. It has given me the confidence to do things that I could never imagine doing alone. If you are struggling with codependency, I would encourage you to try spending a day alone and doing all those things that you can never imagine doing by yourself. It could be as simple as grabbing your daily coffee or having dinner.
If you made it till here, thank you! Feel free to sneak around and FOLLOW!
