Proud of the L.G.B.T.Q. Community

The Answer is Right in Front of Us but We are Often Afraid of It

Love is a word too often tossed off with little thought but what if it is the most important of all

The one gay person I knew in high school was Tommy Bernard.

He was my friend, but I don't remember thinking about his sexual orientation.

I wish I had been more aware because he needed an ally in our high school. As you are aware, bullying is undoubtedly ubiquitous.

Tommy died young. He could not have been older than 25 when he had a head-on collision driving on a Jacksonville freeway.

The grief and sadness of his family must have been overwhelming. It broke my heart even at a time and geographical distance.

At my 'advanced' age, I can't imagine using any emotional energy to think about someone's sexual orientation or gender identity.

Of course, plenty of stereotypical older adults do so. Just observe the members of geezerhood at a M.A.G.A. rally.

(Joking with that term, which my wife and I often use, especially getting out of bed with aches and pains.)

However, I'm not kidding about how many of the crowd are those who have aged quite a bit.

It is beyond full explanation, but they fear those who are different. The goofy rallies are a community of true believers which helps them feel a little better about themselves.

Meanwhile, those who are somewhat introspective and use some logic don't need nutty rallies to attend. People should be just who they are.

A little aside for that last assertion. I am prejudiced against criminal biker gangs and don't like to see 14-year-olds driving a car while shooting a handgun out the driver-side window.

That being said, why be upset to see males kissing one another? Or why care if a parade features rainbow colors, all manner of outfits, tats and piercing galore, and drag queens?

Overstated but not unusual, June in the U.S. is when we celebrate pride.

Consider then, love. Not a strange or offensive word, but often misused.

Medium writer, Jonah Angeles, asserts that we often have a bad habit of confusing love. As get older, we get set in our ways of thinking about it.

Taking a humorous approach, Angeles explores how we often try every excuse in the book to avoid loving.

It is a rich essay from which I might pull several quotes, but here is just one.

A myopic teen — that was me — with a high sex drive and a leathery, deep-seated attitude of indifference, I was blind to how love can manifest. That love is as simple as empathy — or 1–2–3, A-B-C, or quantum physics. Jonah Angeles

Pride Month is a perfect time to think about love, not in a syrupy romantic way but in a more significant, broader way.

If I were a rich man, I would donate a Cat Calendar to those older folks who are fearful, confused, and, specifically, homophobic. There is more than one version, but I would send out the L.G.B.T.Q. version one of which is hanging next to me at my office desk.

Each month has a featured feline photo, but it is the individual days I recommend. Most of the events for that date are related to L.G.B.T.Q. History.

It would be nice of me to tell my friends, the dog people, to regift the calendar because they wouldn't care that June 4th is National Hug Your Cat Day. It could be an opener and an example of compassion because on that on that day in 2006,

Jack, a 15-pound cat in West Milford, NJ, chased a black bear up a tree.

But I digress, as they say. Love is the point. And if so, why do we have to take to the streets to protect those who are oppressed?

We recently welcomed a non-binary person to our United Church of Christ. The congregation hardly took notice, but it was a challenge for some.

This individual preferred They/Them pronouns, which was tricky even for the most open-minded of us older folk.

They also wore clothes we usually associate with women while exposing unshaved legs and the start of a beard.

Using the word 'tolerate' would not be correct, but it challenged us to our Open and Affirming commitment. All the differences in this person's outward self did not scare us; therefore, we could feel love.

If at a loss for clarification, always go to Wikipedia first. The article on love tells us,

Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure.

Here is my thesis: Starting with love, living with love, and ending with love is the answer.

What is wiser for the human community? It is the answer right in front of us. Let it be yours.