ILLUMINATION WRITING CHALLENGE
The Anachronism That Is John Walter
An acronym with an added S
Joy — call me old fashioned, but on balance, I am a happy person. I am content I don’t yearn for things to be different. I do not want more. I have enough of everything I need. Some days are so great I wonder if I could just put them on a loop.
Obambulate — another old fashioned word. I like to wander about. I like journeys with no destination. Quests without a goal. Days that begin routinely and turn completely upside down before I fall into bed exhausted.
Haptic — I like to touch and be touched, in all senses of the word. I can’t get enough of it. My mum tried to beat it out of me, but that didn’t work. Well, it wouldn’t would it?
Nadir — My lowest points (there have been many) occur when traumatic events blindside me. I immediately fall into the belief that it was all my fault. I’ve had my head in the clouds; all the ways I like to live my life are in fact flaws. I need to buck my ideas up, pull up my socks, get my finger out and sort it because no one else will do it for me.
Woodshedding — This is my favourite thing. Whether I am working on music, the written or the spoken word I like to do it alone. I don’t like observers. I bash away at it. I sing the same line a hundred times until it is flawless. I write and rewrite and draft and redraft. I get there in the end but not in a straight line.
Avuncular — “suggestive of an uncle, especially in kindliness or geniality.” I love being an uncle. Long wild walks, hours playing in the surf, listening to extended technical monologues about Minecraft. Time wasted in the best possible way.
Lacertilian — I relate to lizards. Hours spent sitting perfectly still waiting for a fly to come close enough to be within reach of my swiftly extended tongue, waiting for sustenance — eyes and ears taking in every detail of my surroundings. I am at peace.
Tenderometer — An instrument to measure tenderness. I love that such a thing exists. Let’s not restrict its usage to gauging the readiness of fruit and vegetables for consumption. Can someone adapt it to measure the tenderness of the human heart?
Eleutherophobia — This word jumped out at me from a list of obscure words. Fear of freedom. That’s it! I have been suffering from eleutherophobia for 50 years. Afraid to just take a peek outside of the bubble I call myself. I am terrified of what I might find if I let loose everything that lies tangled up inside of me.
Rataplan — That drumming sound is my heart preparing me to …
Step out into the world. And there it is. The extra “S” that turns AN ACRONYM into Anachronism. Or almost. Do you care about the Y being an I and the missing H ? I don’t.





